Cheers 2 Ears!
Two dudes named Aaron toasting their way through the Disney resorts. New episodes drop every Monday morning
Cheers 2 Ears!
Beyond the Wrecking Ball: A Journey Through Unthinkable Disney Park Additions with a Jungle Bird
What happens when Disney Imagineers lose their minds completely? We explore this hilarious premise while enjoying a dangerously delicious Jungle Bird cocktail from Skipper Canteen. This rum and pineapple concoction ($15.50) proves to be the perfect companion as we dive into creating the most absurd, impractical, and downright terrible Disney park additions imaginable.
Our comedic journey takes us through attractions like Hannah Montana's Wrecking Ball ride, where guests swing on actual wrecking balls to the infamous song, and a Walk-Through Flea Farm at Animal Kingdom with real fleas and the potential for itchy souvenirs. We design the ultimate anti-attraction with our Waiting in Line Adventure – a three-hour queue that ultimately leads to a closed ride, perfectly capturing every Disney fan's worst nightmare.
From the boring political debates of our Jedi Council Ride to Goofy's How-To Do Laundry experience (where guests actually wash cast member uniforms), our terrible ideas span every Disney park. We imagine the perfect waste of time with Test Track Traffic Stop, where the ride moves just ten feet before stopping in traffic for ten minutes, and a Parent Trap Mega Ferris Wheel featuring arguing parents who reconcile as "Let's Get Together" blares at painful volumes.
The absurdity continues with unconventional shopping experiences like Duke Wessleton's Toupee and Uniform Ye Olde Shoppe and a Lost and Found Emporium selling items abandoned by previous guests. We even propose a Yemen Pavilion at EPCOT and a Therapy Carousel of Progress showcasing dysfunctional family therapy throughout the decades.
Whether you're a Disney fan looking for a good laugh or someone who enjoys creative satire of theme park experiences, this episode offers a thoroughly entertaining journey through attractions that would make even the most desperate parent flee the parks. Which of our terrible ideas would you avoid at all costs?
Here's who we are and what is in store for you
Hello and welcome to Cheers to Ears, where today we're sipping on a Jungle Bird sold at Skipper Canteen, and it's a very good drink. I'm going to say it right off it is. It is. It's made with Gosling Black Seal Rum, campari Liqueur cane syrup with pineapple juice and lime juice and it's sold for $15.50. That's a good grab and sip on drink.
Speaker 2:And that's a very reasonable price. It a good grab and sip on drink and that's a very reasonable price. It is so like that price. We were very close on this one. We did the gosling black seal rum.
Speaker 1:We had a bottle of that, so yeah, shot of that yeah, we did the aperol instead of the campari.
Speaker 2:same orange liqueur, uh, but a half shot of that, half shot of agave syrup we didn't have syrup and then one of those little cans of pineapple juice, half can of pineapple juice, and then I think about a half shot of lime juice, sweet lime juice. The fresh limes at the house got a little moldy. Yeah, oh, did we?
Speaker 1:have some, or you had some. I had some at the house. I thought you might have found some on Art of Living.
Speaker 2:Nope, okay.
Speaker 1:But very good. It's in the line of the very good fruity drinks that disney world it is.
Speaker 2:Disney does free drinks. Well, yeah, we've had a lot of them. This is kind of right in there. Not alcohol, for this is a dangerous drink it is because pineapple juice forward yes, you could drink a lot of these, so and for 15 bucks yeah, a lot of pineapple it's like a two for one drink.
Speaker 1:You can buy two for a regular drink price.
Speaker 2:I don't really taste the rum.
Speaker 1:No.
Speaker 2:Get a little hint of the Aperol yeah.
Speaker 1:It's dangerous sitting by the pool.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:I mean Skipper Canteen obviously isn't next to a pool.
Speaker 2:Go climb Swiss Family Treehouse, or what is their treehouse called.
Speaker 1:That's a good question. It's not even called Swiss Family Treehouse anywhere, though, is it? It's called just the Jungle Treehouse, or something.
Speaker 2:I thought it was a Swiss Family Treehouse. We're looking it up right now.
Speaker 1:You look up Disneyland.
Speaker 2:I'll look up Disney World, Okay, we should not know these things.
Speaker 1:Here's a fun fact while we're looking this up, that when I'm on my phone and I type in Disney.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's a Swiss family treehouse at Disney World.
Speaker 1:But not Disneyland. Then when I type Disney on my phone, when I'm texting somebody, it automatically puts Disneyland in and I have to erase it and put like World or Disney.
Speaker 2:Ah, Adventureland treehouse Fun fact Adventureland treehouse.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's a fun fact for the day.
Speaker 2:Fun fact Adventureland treehouse and Swiss family treehouse and.
Speaker 1:Swiss family Treehouse. We did not when we were at Disney World a few months ago. We did not do the treehouse, did we? We didn't walk up the treehouse.
Speaker 2:Oh no, I've never walked up the treehouse.
Speaker 1:Oh, you haven't.
Speaker 2:Most of the time it was broken.
Speaker 1:I walk up every time at Disneyland because it's fun.
Speaker 2:Most of the time it's been broken. So I haven't just 60 minutes. Uh, rise of the resistance.
Speaker 1:Now I'm looking at right okay, but on the podcast well, we're talking about rides.
Speaker 2:We are talking about rides right.
Speaker 1:Unlike last episode, where everything was true, this episode is things we made up things we made up, right, horrible disney park additions.
Speaker 2:We were going to go horrible disney rides but I was having some writer's block and I just I expanded it to horrible disney park additions. I was having some riders block and I, just I expanded it to horrible disney park additions, right, so that way it could be like a myriad of things.
Speaker 1:But so you added a couple things and I added at the end disney's had bad ideas yeah, we just helped them along in that process. Ours are hopefully worse. Oh, mine are yeah could you? I started last episode, so you need to start this time.
Speaker 2:Okay, so we did, we did rides first. I just have eight, so let's just go through, oh.
Speaker 1:I did eight rides and then a restaurant.
Speaker 2:And then a shop.
Speaker 1:But my restaurant and shop was just at the end. I could just say them.
Speaker 2:Okay, so okay, I'm going to preface this. I know I'm mixing up Hannah Montana and post Disney Miley Cyrus. I know I'm mixing up Hannah Montana and post-Disney Miley Cyrus. I know I'm mixing these up, or?
Speaker 1:combining these. Michaela, my daughter loves Hannah Montana, so tread carefully.
Speaker 2:Hannah Montana's wrecking ball ride at Hollywood Studios. Okay, now I'm wondering what Michaela's going to think about so on this ride now, unlike the video, you have to wear clothes, but you sit on. You climb onto your wrecking ball and, like Tron, it has the little butt cup that comes and holds you up against the chain. You hold onto the chain and it swings you around. It's not a bad ride, yeah.
Speaker 1:I don't hate this ride.
Speaker 2:Very dangerous it is, but I like like it. You never know where well so are those stupid silly swing things yes, well, it's true it's about the same and then it, but it'll be playing that wrecking ball song the whole time. I like it, I like this ride.
Speaker 1:I would ride this ride. You're one for one with me. Okay, I like it a lot. Okay, I'm on it. I'd fast pass that thing in a second. Or lightning lane, the old in the olden days, I'd fast pass it. Okay, my first one yeah mine is the waiting, waiting in line adventure. It's a series of ever-expanding queues with no actual theme and at the end the ride is always closed and it takes about three hours. Oh, and there are signs that says just two and a half hours waits left.
Speaker 2:That is a horrible Disney park ride. It's a horrible ride. Wow, what park would this be in?
Speaker 1:Oh, I didn't even think about what park I didn't place anything?
Speaker 2:Oh, I see, I didn't place it. You gotta place them. I didn't place anything, oh I see, you got to place them.
Speaker 1:Oh, I got to place them.
Speaker 2:I did not do that at all you can think about your next one and this one. I'll go ahead.
Speaker 1:Well, the Way in the Line, adventure would have to be in. So no theme, though. No theme. No, this is not a theme at all, so it could go anywhere, but I would put it in Adventureland, right next to Indiana Jones, so right next to Indiana.
Speaker 2:Jones. So it would be like waiting in line at Disneyland's version of Peter Pan. Yeah, just a back and forth skinny line.
Speaker 1:Yeah, new idea for the ride. It's next to Indiana Jones with two lines that are next to each other. For the standby line, you go into one. You never know which one you're going into until you get further in the line.
Speaker 2:Oh, there could be like a three-hour line and a one-hour line. No, it could be Indiana Jones, or it could be nothing, oh, or it could go to nothing, same exact queue all the way through. Is there a multi-pass for this? So a fast pass.
Speaker 1:You can fast pass it.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:It only takes two and a half hours in the fast pass nice.
Speaker 2:Okay, my next one. It's right at epcot world world ferry ride, so different, different ferries from around the world.
Speaker 1:Like you would have the green and white ones from washington right you know whatever the staten island ferry staten island like that bright orange yeah some asian, some northern, like the different ones in hawaii, things like that scandinavian.
Speaker 2:You know northern europe, they have a lot of ferries right, so it'd just be different ferries just go across, but it drops you. It picks you up in the same place, but it could just drop you at whichever port you never know you're going yeah, you're never quite sure which port you're going to be dropped off you get up on a harbor boat or epcot. It's an epcot, not it's an, it's an epcot, so you could end up anywhere you could.
Speaker 1:You could end up in any country at any hotel. Yeah, just anywhere end up with a poly and there are some nods to different fairies.
Speaker 2:So, like the washington, a little nod there. There's random birds pooping on you, okay so keep it real you might be pooped on by a bird, so you have to that's what you might want to wear your, your poncho, or put out your umbrella in case those uh seagulls want to poop on you. I like this. You know, if it's the asian ones, every once in a while they capsize. Okay, it's just, you know, it adds excitement right it adds and they look. They look authentic.
Speaker 1:They're just small and only hold like a dozen people, but world ferry ride at epcot, just some nice dull theming this is great yeah okay, okay, I'm trying to, I'm trying to place all these down, because I didn't write, I didn't think about where they were at, I just made rides, that's okay. A couple of them are self-explanatory. This one could also be anywhere and I'm going to put it in Animal Kingdom.
Speaker 2:Okay, this is a good Animal Kingdom ride because Animal Kingdom has a bunch of rides.
Speaker 1:It needs more rides than Animal Kingdom it does. Okay, this one's a good one. It's the Endless Bathroom, the Endless Bathroom bathroom. So it's a restroom theme ride with everything a bathroom really has has toilet paper rolls, hand dryers and a never-ending maze of stalls you go through. But watch out, if you get the, the version there's have different versions, all right. Like you get different songs on different rides, yeah, this one has different versions. Which? Which one you go down? Uh-huh, and don't. You don't want the maze without the janitorial service.
Speaker 2:Oh, be like the queue of galaxy cosmic rewind that story yeah yeah, look that up if you like yeah that's my next ride okay, mine, my next one also at animal kingdom. Okay, it's a walk-through flea farm.
Speaker 1:Man, Animal Kingdom just doubled in size. They did.
Speaker 2:So they have certain bugs out at Rafiki's Planet Watch. You know they have some spiders and you know beetles and whatnot out there, Right, but they don't have fleas. Okay, there's not a lot of homage paid to the flea.
Speaker 1:Right, and the flea is huge in Africa, yeah Right, and the flea is huge in Africa, yeah Right.
Speaker 2:So you know wherever they put it, but you can't really corral fleas. It's a walkthrough.
Speaker 1:It's a walkthrough open flea. And there's just fleas hopping around Would you call it a flea market, a flea.
Speaker 2:Well, you can't buy them. No, you know, I'm sure lots of them die every day.
Speaker 1:You can buy a little flea thing at the end like an ant farm. You just risk At the gift shop, the flea gift shop.
Speaker 2:Flea circus, flea circus, right. Yeah, well, that's a good idea, right, that's for the gift shop. Gift shop right at the end and stuff, and so you spray up on some off deep woods off to hopefully keep them from jumping on you, but you might get some flea bites. I love this gift shop. A little bubonic plague might be spread, you never know.
Speaker 1:Yes, Sorry, you're right, I don't love the ride, but I have gift shop ideas. Yes, I have the flea lounge fly Flea pins Right yeah.
Speaker 2:And a red hot chili peppers theme. There you go. Oh, that could be what could be playing the music, right? Yeah, I actually just saw him in another movie, did you? You saw Flea?
Speaker 1:in another movie or.
Speaker 2:Anthony, yeah, flea, okay or whatever, it's Flea.
Speaker 1:Flea. I don't know his real name.
Speaker 2:Yeah, whatever his real name is Doesn't matter. Anyway, we need a walk-through flea farm experience. A walk-through flea farm experience At Animal Kingdom. I love that. Yeah, that's a great one.
Speaker 1:Okay, my third one is the Jedi Council ride, so this would, of course, be in Galaxy's Edge. Yeah Right, you dive into the excitement of Episode 2, attack of the Clones, where you experience an entire Senate Council session from start to finish, and you sit in one of those pods.
Speaker 2:At the end, are you not granted the rank of master?
Speaker 1:No, this isn't a Jedi council. This is a Senate council.
Speaker 2:Oh, a Senate council.
Speaker 1:Or they're just talking up front when all those pods are up in the air. Oh yeah, You're one of those pods, oh, and you sit there and you just watch. Okay, them talk about galactic politics.
Speaker 2:Means. I want to be a politician.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:Yeah, ooh, ooh Terrible.
Speaker 1:That is a terrible ride.
Speaker 2:Okay, so I took inspiration from a previous episode we did with this next one, and this is a whole land Medfield University land, medfield University land. Okay, so that is the fictional university for all the Kurt Russell movies.
Speaker 1:Computer War, Tennis Shoes World's.
Speaker 2:Strongest man. Now you See Him, now you Don't. It's at Hollywood Studios, of course. There's a Dexter Riley meet and greet. There's a restaurant that only serves cereal Fits with the. You know, world's Strongest man, right, and there's a ride based on each movie. Oh yeah, know, world's strongest man, right, and there's a ride based on each movie. Oh yeah, not quite sure what those rides would be, but it would have to have a ride per movie, right? But yeah, it'd be the medfield university land. I like that because that's some good ip, yeah right there, that's great ip.
Speaker 2:See they waste their time with cars right and villains I know like that ip. Where's kurt russell pandora? We need some kurt russell ip. I like that old school, that IP. Where's Kurt Russell at Pandora? We need some Kurt Russell.
Speaker 1:IP. I like that a lot, old school Kurt Russell IP. That's a great thought, also a horrible ride. So my next one would be in. I'm going to say it's in like what do you call? What do you call the main street at DCA?
Speaker 2:What's that called? It's not Sunset Boulevard is it?
Speaker 1:No, that's at Hollywood Studios.
Speaker 2:I think oh, buena Vista, buena Vista, avenue Buena.
Speaker 1:Vista Street Street. It'd be there. This is where this would be. It'd be on that street and it would be in like a hotel exterior. Look like a fancy hotel, okay, and this is the elevator simulator. Okay. So it's just like tower of terror, but without the terror. It's just a normal speed. Yeah, it's just right, it's just called. It's just the tower part. Oh, you have to wait, enter and ride an elevator up and down and it's really slow. It doesn't stop or do anything thrilling, it just goes up and down and it doesn't.
Speaker 2:Does it open at the top? No, it goes back down. It just goes up and down and it doesn't does it open at the top?
Speaker 1:No, it goes back down. It just goes back down. You don't see anything. You go up and you go back down 20 flights.
Speaker 2:Do you have to? Does it stop at every floor? No, no.
Speaker 1:Sometimes it's tricky Random stops, random stops at floors. It doesn't open though. No, it does open to nothing, it opens to fake people walking on To fake offices Right office. People walking on, yeah, in offices.
Speaker 2:Now do you have to face forward on that one?
Speaker 1:I don't know if you have to.
Speaker 2:I mean, I don't think you'd be buckled in. Most people would but weird and face away.
Speaker 1:Right, you could.
Speaker 2:That would make it even worse, because then you've got those people who want to be awkward.
Speaker 1:Right. So this comes from when I listen to music on my iPhone. Christy likes to go and sneak into my Spotify account and put a list of my least favorite singers.
Speaker 2:Oh.
Speaker 1:And where, even if I fast forward it, it's played another one of my least favorite singers. She'll put a whole series of songs on there. It comes from my hate of one certain song and one certain person. I don't hate the person, I just don't like their voice. But this inspired me to have who is it. I'm getting there, okay, because this inspired me, for the soundtrack to this ride would be all new songs by Kenny G and Celine Dion, and so Christy always adds Celine Dion's Titanic song, my Heart Will Go.
Speaker 2:On.
Speaker 1:Sometimes she does this over and over again. Oh Right, where I?
Speaker 2:get annoyed. That's not a thank you, Christy.
Speaker 1:No. So when she did the Other Day to me, I said I feel like I'm in an elevator right now because I just went with it. She put like three Celine Dion songs in a row and I just let it play now because I just went with it. She put like three Celine Dion songs in a row. I just let it play. I listened to it. She goes you're not going to turn that off. I said no, I feel like I'm in the elevator, I'm good. I just let it play.
Speaker 2:Now what if she put a little Enya in there, Would you?
Speaker 1:I don't dislike any. I don't even dislike Kenny G. I just added him in because I like all kinds of music.
Speaker 2:You know when I like Celine Dion's voice when it's Ariana Grande impersonating.
Speaker 1:Celine Dion. That's funny, that's funny.
Speaker 2:That's when you want to hear Celine Dion.
Speaker 1:Yeah, if it's absolutely anyone else doing Celine Dion yeah. So that's my elevator simulator ride. That was my last one. Well, I guess the Jedi Council ride is thematic it's a Disney-themed ride.
Speaker 2:Okay, so you called it the Jedi Council, not the Senate.
Speaker 1:Oh, I did call it Jedi Council ride, and then I do that all the time.
Speaker 2:I was thinking Jedi Council at first. That's why I was like at the end you're not granted the rank of master.
Speaker 1:I was thinking Jedi Council at first and then, when I was writing out the description, that sounded too much fun. Yeah, like you were actually watching Jedis.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so I switched it to Senate. Yeah, finishing a different word when you start one word. Yeah, I do that on occasion I do that.
Speaker 1:So my next one, more often than most it's a Magic Kingdom.
Speaker 2:Okay, because we've got to add more stuff to Magic Kingdom. Why not? It's the Parent Trap, mega Ferris Wheel. Mmm, you're going old school movie again. Yes, oh, I dug deep for the old school IP, that's good the forgotten IP.
Speaker 1:Is it themed just on the old parent trap, or both the Lindsay Lohan one and the Hayley Mills?
Speaker 2:More the because I have Lindsay Lohan plastered everywhere.
Speaker 1:Okay, so it's more on the newer one.
Speaker 2:And you know, during the line though, let's get together that plane on a loop loudly but you can't talk to the person next to you.
Speaker 2:That would be great, okay, but over the speakers. So it's. I mean, we're talking the world's biggest Ferris wheel, huge, where it's enclosed capsules, and as you go around it's two parents arguing. They start out arguing and they're just yelling and stuff and by the end it's turned to laughter and they've gotten back together. Wow, at the end of the Ferris wheel, at the end of the ride. That's a whole story With let's Get Together blaring in the background and Lindsay Lohan staring at you, staring at you From posters everywhere. That's funny. So, speaking of Lindsay Lohan, just to go off a little rabbit trail, she's had a lot of her movies put recently, like promoted on Disney Plus. I'm wondering what that's about. I think they're doing a new Parent Trap and she's in it.
Speaker 1:Oh, is she the parent? Now I think maybe I saw a little commercial I didn't pay too much attention to it Okay too much attention to it. Oh, okay, I was wondering what that was about, but I saw something older, lindsay Lohan in a parent trappy type of movie. I think it's all the old parent trap. People from that movie are in it. Oh, is Hayley Mills still alive? No, the old parent trap. I don't know if Hayley Mills is still alive. I have no idea she probably is.
Speaker 2:You know she was in, Saved by the Bell.
Speaker 1:She was in coach? No, I think that was somebody different. Who was the girl, I think early saved by the bell, I think? Okay, anyway, anyway, hayley mills and lindsey lohan became a topic that could be a topic of a podcast yes, who was, who were the better?
Speaker 2:who's the fake twins?
Speaker 1:okay, next, okay, my next one is goofy themed. Oh, this is the how-to. You know this how-to series? Yeah, how to play football.
Speaker 2:Okay, how to?
Speaker 1:play baseball. It's one of those. This is how to do laundry.
Speaker 2:But see, you got Goofy.
Speaker 1:This sounds good, Okay yes, you're an actual laundromat simulator where Goofy instructs you on all the steps to finish a load of laundry. These look an awful lot like cast member outfits. So you're actually just doing cast member laundry for them.
Speaker 2:Shenanigans and hygiene things.
Speaker 1:No, no, shenanigans, he just instructs. No, you just do a regular laundry, just with Goofy's voice.
Speaker 2:But there's funny stuff to the how-to series in the cartoons, but there's nothing funny about this. No, new writers, it's just do their laundry Right, shut up, no.
Speaker 1:New riders, it's just do their laundry Right and shut up Right. They did a different ride, different whole production team, but what's cool, they got fired after this.
Speaker 2:Is it's like an hour and 15 minute ride? Yeah, because you got to wash and then you got to sit around dry and then fold.
Speaker 1:Actually it's like an hour and a half ride, put it in the laundry. Stop. Push the start button. The start.
Speaker 2:Add the detergent.
Speaker 1:That's all it is. It's his voice, that's the only thing that makes it IP is Goofy's voice, goofy's voice Other than that it's just a regular local laundromat and you're doing all the cast member uniforms for them.
Speaker 2:Nice, excellent, allegedly so. My next one, it's Epcot. I have a new country pavilion.
Speaker 1:Oh, mine was in Toontown, sorry, oh, sorry. Yeah, that makes sense.
Speaker 2:Teaching kids how to do laundry. You know that's important. So the Yemen pavilion in Epcot.
Speaker 1:Where Chandler Bean goes.
Speaker 2:Explore the rich history and food of Yemen. I was trying to think of a ride like hootie boat attack or something who knows? But yemen deserves its own pavilion.
Speaker 1:Of course they're a forgotten country what do you do in this yemen pavilion?
Speaker 2:well, you're just like I said explore the rich history and food of y, like like most of the others. You know, yeah, you walk around and you find out some of the history and taste some of the local eats. Do you have any of the?
Speaker 1:eats to tell us, or does not just the ideas of Yemen that you go from there?
Speaker 2:Yemeni food, yemenis whatever their food from all the. Yemenites. It's all like middle eastern. It's pretty similar. It's going to be similar food to, to all of that, but local, like the local flair right local flair of yemen yeah, it's going to be hard to find some people from yemen to actually staff it right, because they're on the watch list they can't actually enter the country, but I don't know, I thought it would be a great idea that might boost Yemen tourism by one or two, by one.
Speaker 2:Yeah, the Yemen Pavilion at Epcot, love it. Hey, guardians of Galaxy, you know, remy's, it's the next thing to draw people to Epcot, right, test track retheme. Yeah, yemen Pavilion.
Speaker 1:So scrap your India pavilion. Yeah, that you liked before, yeah, put.
Speaker 2:Yemen in. Instead I think you just cram it in like somewhere kind of in the back, like you got to walk down a dark, dirty alleyway to get to it.
Speaker 1:Okay, love it, love it. I would stop by for a quick second. Yeah, hopefully survive. Okay, my next one's a re-theme of the re-theme, so they're re-theming Test Track right now. Yes, right, but they might even be doing this. This might be what happens. I don't know. They haven't announced. I mean, no one knows exactly what it's going to look like when they're done.
Speaker 1:This new ride's called. It's a new ride name. It's called Test Track Traffic Stop. Oh, so you get on the. It's the same exact test track ride, but it goes about 10 feet into the ride and you pull over. No, you just stop in traffic.
Speaker 2:Oh.
Speaker 1:For about 10 minutes.
Speaker 2:See, I thought that you were implying traffic stop. Oh no, that'd be fun. Police stop.
Speaker 1:That'd be fun. This is a traffic jam type deal you stop in traffic, have to wait there for 10 minutes or so and then move forward. No, then you just get off the ride. Then it goes back to dead feet and you just sit. You sit there for 10 minutes. There's honking going on. As you inch forward Right, maybe playing some Sleed Neon.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:That's some good times.
Speaker 2:Time right, that's just a re-theme at epcot right yeah, okay, okay yeah we're really changing that that's that's taking up only a little bit of room. You can get a lot of people on that ride because you could have a whole bunch of those cars because they're only moving 10 feet oh yeah, it's a.
Speaker 1:It'll suck the people up yeah, that's a good idea maybe it has the waiting in line adventure that goes before it oh, there you go.
Speaker 2:Twofer, it's a twofer, it's a twofer. All right, so I'm reaching back to a previous episode and more old ip. Okay, I think you know what's coming apple dumpling mine, card descent. This is great. Well, maybe, oh, because this harkens back to the fun-loving 70s and its lack of safety. Oh, safety okay, yeah so there are no seat belts. So basically, it's just a big mine car and the only safety is so four of you get into this mine car and sit down. There's no real seats, you're just sitting on the metal.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:And you know cramming your legs all together and you're a little intertwined, and then they lock you in with a cage over the top to keep you from flying out.
Speaker 1:Okay, so you probably won't die. You probably won't die, just some abrasions.
Speaker 2:Yeah, all right, and you might not even get that. It just depends on how well it handles the track. So, if you've ever seen the movie Action Point, it was a no, I have not. What was it Johnny Knoxville? No, I have not, and it was a real amusement park. It was based on a real story, okay. So they took off all the safety restraints at this amusement park they really did this to make it more thrilling and kids just kept getting injured oh, okay. Over and over again. So it's like that. Okay, it's celebrating Gen X childhood Okay, yeah.
Speaker 2:That's fair you get coated with hose water and then there's a lot of neglect. Okay, yeah, very interesting, and you're allowed to smoke on the ride that's a.
Speaker 1:That's a johnny knoxville ip. Jesse's gonna buy the rights to johnny knoxville stuff. That's great love it, not what I get by lightning lane for right away. No, don't know. Don't know if that's my first ride or that you have. I'd go, but my next one is a great little way to get out of the. It would be in the. It'd be Animal Kingdom or the American Pavilion at Epcot, it could be Okay. I think the American Pavilion at Epcot is the best place for it. This is the family therapy session.
Speaker 2:Oh.
Speaker 1:So you sit there and you watch. Now you can look inside an American family's therapy session and revel in all of their dysfunction as the new animatronics, realism, draw you in.
Speaker 2:So it's like Carousel of Progress, it is.
Speaker 1:It's like a therapy, it's a therapy right, it's a therapist and over the years, Over the years. Right, just like I. Just you just came up with that idea. There you go. I was just gonna have him watch a therapy session. I was just going to have them watch a therapy session. But I like this, the Carousel of Progress idea.
Speaker 2:Where it goes in a big circle.
Speaker 1:It's like therapy in the 60s.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Therapy in the 70s and there were problems they have then.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and then eventually like someone's missing from the family because the therapy didn't work Right. Yeah, I like this.
Speaker 1:Sad moment. This is good, this is a good ride. Therapy, yep, it just goes. Different animatronics over the years yeah, of a family therapy session.
Speaker 2:Therapy of progress therapy progress, the therapy carousel of progress all righty, that was a that's a dark ride but what would be the song in? But you know how you go from one song.
Speaker 1:There's not a avril lavigne. Why do you have to make things so complicated?
Speaker 2:hell yeah, because there's not a big, beautiful new tomorrow.
Speaker 1:No waiting at the end of every day no, no, or a last morris, that song oh yeah yeah, something like that yeah, one of those or some something, no, no, or an Alanis Morissette song.
Speaker 2:Oh, yeah, yeah something like that yeah One of those, or something nice, grungy.
Speaker 1:Yeah, something from Corn or Alice in Chains. Yeah, just something that. Oh, how about the Johnny Cash version of that hurt? Oh, that would be a good one there you go Okay, we have lots of ideas they could have I mean all of them.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we need to sit down with some Imagineers. Okay, my last they're probably going to call us after this. They are Get the phones ready. We're going to get jobs out of this one. Okay, my last one is a store, duke Wessleton's toupee and uniform ye olde shop, because you know, if you're selling toupees and uniforms, you have to call it a ye olde shop. You do Ye olde with an E and shop with an extra P and an E, okay, ye olde shop. And they just sell toupees and uniforms.
Speaker 1:That's great, just randomly, yeah, is this in the American pavilion? This one probably is more the norway pavilion, norway, norway wigs.
Speaker 2:Oh, because of I oh, this is one I didn't add, and I didn't add where the apple dumpling mining card is sent. I forgot to add where that should go right. Hmm, I'm thinking that I don't know. That feels very animal kingdom its makeup, but there's no animal theme to it.
Speaker 1:So but anyway yeah.
Speaker 2:This would be Norway Pavilion. Okay, yeah, I like it. That's a good shop, because toupees, right Toupes are the new Mickey ears. I love that, yeah.
Speaker 1:Lose your toupee on Matterhorn.
Speaker 2:With like the little hook and you could put it on and you just got a new head of hair, right yeah.
Speaker 1:You have a different themed head of hair every day, like hair helmet, it matches your outfit.
Speaker 2:Yeah, because you could do not only like the old man toupee the gray on the top, but you could do the Silvio from Sopranos. Okay, the hair helmet, that's a good one. The mafia hair helmet.
Speaker 1:That's a good one. The Mafia hair helmet. Can you get a Gaston?
Speaker 2:You could get a Gaston.
Speaker 1:With the big old, Very similar.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, you could get you know. Og Ted Nugent. Okay yeah, this is a good shop. There's all kinds of toupees you could get.
Speaker 1:This is a good shop. Just all the Disney With their hair, the thematic hair. Yeah, I like this.
Speaker 2:It would take over. This is a really good idea and uniforms.
Speaker 1:Yeah, this is. This is. That idea is almost too good. You probably should have held that for like a realistic version. Fake dictator uniforms. So my last ride? Okay, it's called Waiting to Attack the Beast and it's in Fantasyland. Okay, you are a villager in this stunning recreation of being a Beast as you wait for the other villagers and Gaston to arrive to attack the castle when they get there. The ride ends when they all get there.
Speaker 2:Okay, right, you get to see the castle. It's up above.
Speaker 1:But you're just waiting, and then the ride ends.
Speaker 2:Yeah, there's a lot of empty space where you would be looking at the castle outside of Be my Guest. Yeah, they can do that.
Speaker 1:They can just put it there yeah, it's a good ride. It's a good ride. So really quick, my shop and restaurant.
Speaker 2:I'll throw this out real quick.
Speaker 1:My shop is called the Lost and Found Emporium and they just sell all the lost stuff.
Speaker 2:They sell a lot, you just walk through and buy stuff. They put stuff, they put prices on it.
Speaker 1:It's like the, the bins that they roll out at uh goodwill, right at the goodwill. Yeah, it's like that, exactly like center. It's a bunch. Yeah, just go through it real fast and you have to.
Speaker 2:It's. It's something you rope drop to get all the good stuff. Yeah, you want to be there. You get a good popcorn bucket.
Speaker 1:If you get there early enough, you can get there, it might have a little chip out of it right or my or my socks I lost on Matterhorn once. I left them in the bag when I left.
Speaker 2:Matterhorn, you created a 2319?. Yep, you're admitting that 2319.
Speaker 1:All your fault.
Speaker 2:It's like human clothing when they find the sock in Monsters Inc.
Speaker 1:Oh, it's a 2319.
Speaker 2:Yep.
Speaker 1:I put them in the bag, in the little thing in front, the little pouch, and I just got off the ride, forgot I didn't put it in my pocket. It was later at night. I didn't take my little bag.
Speaker 2:I usually take with me. So were your socks in another bag. Yeah, okay, and they were in the car still.
Speaker 1:That would be gross if you just put yeah, someone got brand new socks, I just bought them.
Speaker 2:Oh okay, Someone got brand new socks. I just bought them. Oh okay, I thought you took your nasty old socks off and put them in there.
Speaker 1:No, it was a pair of Monsters Inc. Socks was one of the two that I bought. See, that's a good bargain there. I know for somebody I felt I lost and found and never got them back and I went back to the ride like 10 minutes later and they weren't there.
Speaker 2:It's probably one of those things where, if you get the right cast member, you could have said, hey, I left my socks on the ride and they probably would have handed you a new pair. Yeah, maybe, and pixie dusted you, but If you got the right cast member, that would have happened.
Speaker 1:But you live and learn.
Speaker 2:You live and learn.
Speaker 1:So my restaurant real quick, I have to say it because I like it a lot Uh-huh snack bar, okay, okay, and it's inside an actual submarine on finding nemo's submarine adventure has very poor lighting, it's very hot and all pre-packaged foods that are warmed only by the surrounding water and the heat in the car, oh, yeah they're just set up for a while.
Speaker 2:They serve it so would it be, at one end you got to climb over people or would you have to do like the stadium thing where you hand your cash to the person oh, I like that Next to you and you just pass cash down and then they have to pass the food back? To you so everybody's touched your food.
Speaker 1:Yeah, like at a stadium. Yeah, I like that. Oh, that's gross. I know Hot dog down here, okay, has to warm up for 10 minutes. Yeah, they just set it out and warm it up and however hot it gets, in 10 minutes they throw it out of the bun and they had to do it Ugh.
Speaker 2:So there are certain rides that I haven't ridden Very few. That is one of those that qualifies as one that I've never ridden and I just never will. I haven't done it in years and Silly Swings never will. Yeah, I will never do those rides.
Speaker 1:You would not enjoy it. I just did it. Last time I was there Jumping Jellyfish. No, you never rode Jumping Jellyfish. No, that's not bad.
Speaker 2:I don't think that would be bad. It just looks like a.
Speaker 1:It is. There's nothing to it, yeah.
Speaker 2:But, silly swings you would not like? No, no, no, those little chain snaps.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you're barely in there. You're going to fly off. I don't even know how they made that thing.
Speaker 2:So there we are. We got some horrible ideas. Yep, to worsen the parks.
Speaker 1:We're going to get phone calls soon, we might be flying down to Anaheim really.
