Cheers 2 Ears!
Two dudes named Aaron toasting their way through the Disney resorts. New episodes drop every Monday morning
Cheers 2 Ears!
The Art of Surviving Disney With a Grumpy Old Man With a Smoked Turkey
Wondering how to survive Disney with someone who'd rather be anywhere else? Or perhaps you're the one dreading the family Disney trip? Either way, we've got you covered as we sip on a Smoked Turkey cocktail from Olivia's Cafe at Disney's Old Key West Resort and dive into survival strategies for the reluctant Disney visitor.
The cocktail itself—a bourbon-based concoction with cherry liqueur, grenadine, and a hint of hickory smoke—seems perfectly designed for that stereotypical grumpy grandpa sitting on his DVC balcony while the grandkids watch cartoons inside. Much like a reluctant Disney visitor's experience, our review is lukewarm: not horrible, but not something we'd eagerly order again.
We explore this topic from two complementary angles. First, how to prepare someone who's less than enthusiastic about Disney: showing them nostalgic Disney live-action movies beforehand, finding their favorite foods in the parks, scheduling non-park days for longer stays, and strategically using Lightning Lanes to minimize frustration with lines. After all, nothing makes a grumpy visitor grumpier than paying "$150 to get in and another $40 to go on rides."
Then we catalog the classic complaints you'll hear (expensive food, lack of shade, early wake-up calls) and offer survival strategies for the reluctant visitor themselves: finding air-conditioned refuges like Hall of Presidents, strategic snacking to create natural breaks, slipping away to use single rider lines, perfecting the same grumpy expression for every photo, and sampling Disney's many adult beverages.
Whether you're the Disney enthusiast dragging someone along or the one being dragged, these strategies might just save your vacation. And remember, if you ever get separated from your group, the safest survival strategy is to head straight to the nearest lounge and stay put!
Here's who we are and what is in store for you
Hello and welcome to Cheers to Ears. Today we're having a smoked turkey and we're sipping on it. Now, aaron, we are, we're sipping on a smoked turkey. It's sold at Olivia's Cafe at the Old Key West Resort. Yes, it's made with wild turkey 101 bourbon red stag, black cherry, bourbon grenadine and Odwalla lemonade with a hint of hickory smoke, garnished with a Luxardo gourmet maraschino cherries, and it's sold for $17.50 at Olivia's Disney moderate At. Well, yeah, is it moderate still, do you think?
Speaker 2:$17.50 is moderate.
Speaker 1:It's moderate for your average person. Is it moderate for someone who would your average Old Key West person that we label as an Old Key West person?
Speaker 2:Well, they might complain about the drink prices. Maybe, maybe not.
Speaker 1:So let's talk about Old Key West first, while we're on the subject of Old Key West, where grandparents go to take their children to Disneyland. Right, that's one of the first things Aaron said when we were touring Old Key West on our trip, and it's true. And it comes even more true as we came up with this idea for this episode.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:And the drink happened to be at this restaurant. It's sold at many restaurants probably Old Key West, but it's here, especially, and today, we're talking about. What are we talking about today?
Speaker 2:The Grumpy Old Man's Guide to Disney.
Speaker 1:Right. So the grumpy old dad, grandfather, whoever, but let's finish talking about this.
Speaker 2:Oh, the drink.
Speaker 1:Yes, all right, before we move on, I moved right on to the episode because this isn't our favorite.
Speaker 2:No, it's not. So we made it. Actually, we followed everything, except for we didn't add according to Disney or the Disney website you looked at, they add liquid hickory smoke. Right, we actually have a drink smoker that you have that you light wood chips over it and it infuses the smoke on the top. So we had wild turkey shot, a wild turkey shot, a red stag shot, a lemonade. Didn't use Odwalla, used a different brand of lemonade. I did a half ounce of grenadine, we threw in a cherry and we smoked the whole thing. At first it was very medicinal Cherry medicine. It's a little bit better now. But this is a in the evening sipping drink. It's not like a fruity drink, it's not not refreshing, it's just you want some, you want something with good alcohol.
Speaker 1:Forward sitting down with your stogie old key west, old key west and the balcony of your dvc, of your dvc that you bought in 1939 the kids are in the in the living rooms watching their cartoons and you're out avoiding them because you're a grumpy old grandpa. Yeah, it's a good sipper. You can tell it's a good sipper because Aaron everyone.
Speaker 2:Aaron's not done yet right, it's not gone.
Speaker 1:We have the same amount we've drank so far. Yeah, that's funny. Yeah, so's funny, yeah, so I don't mind it. I don't know if I wouldn't order it.
Speaker 2:I wouldn't order it. I don't. It's not bad we're going to have. I've had some bad drinks, right it's not bad, but it's not great. It's probably not even good, it's okay.
Speaker 1:The good part of it not being horrible is we now have a whole bottle of red cherry. Red stag cherry Red stag cherry liqueur with bourbon infused. Right, we got to use that somehow.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so hopefully there's some others that need some cherry alcohol in them. We have several bottles of stuff that may only be used once, so thankfully alcohol lasts forever.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we might have to come up with some creative ideas to use them.
Speaker 2:Yeah, or at least look for drinks on the Disney menus that have those ingredients.
Speaker 1:That might be an episode.
Speaker 2:subject Like peach schnapps.
Speaker 1:Right, no. Subject Banana liqueur episode. The banana rum we've used now twice. I think we're gonna use it again next episode?
Speaker 2:yeah right, yeah, we've used that quite a bit. And then, but yeah, the peach schnapps and the blackberry brandy. Yeah, we have black. Yeah, that, that's a little tough this might add to the list.
Speaker 1:the cherry bourbon might add to that list of things not used very often that we bought it used to be Disney.
Speaker 2:like all their drinks had Blue Curacao in them, and we have yet to do a drink that has Blue Curacao.
Speaker 1:We haven't, and back in the 90s I used Blue Curacao a lot for drinks at home.
Speaker 2:Yeah, Maybe Disney World has moved beyond Blue Curacao.
Speaker 1:Maybe, maybe they're evolving. Yeah, that's Disney forward.
Speaker 2:So we're talking about Grumpy Old Man's Guide to. Disney, and we took different takes, as we usually do, because we don't talk about it beforehand. Usually we just show up and what'd you do, right? Oh, I did something completely different.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we kind of did that today.
Speaker 2:But we are not Grumpy Old men at Disney. We're the opposite of that. No matter what happens, we're in a good mood. But I could understand we may have traveled with grumpy old men, I don't know.
Speaker 1:I've never been in a group with a grumpy old man. I think that I wouldn't put myself in that situation.
Speaker 2:Yeah, now I envisioned a couple of grumpy old men, I know, okay, and I just channeled them and what they would complain about Okay.
Speaker 2:Maybe, but I did come up with a prepping. A grumpy old man for Disney, what you should do going into it. So the first thing I thought is get him in the mood by showing him old live action Disney movies Like Apple Dumpling Gang, because even a grumpy old man is going to laugh at those. Maybe some Follow Me Boys, maybe some other Kurt Russell, maybe the real campy version of Swiss Family Robinson, like the 60s version, a lot of that 60s, 70s stuff. Show them some of those.
Speaker 1:You are bringing up old Disney a lot lately.
Speaker 2:I am, I know that's cool. I'm, I am, I know that's cool, that's cool all right, you go through phases.
Speaker 1:You're in your. You're in a retro disney phase right now.
Speaker 2:That's cool I think it's because. So downtown disney I think their idea was to make it retro, back to when it opened. To me it has that feel. But anyway, next thing you do is you buy him a most expensive vacation ever t-shirt. Okay, now, not every guy who buys this t-shirt is a grumpy old man, but all grumpy old men are wearing this t-shirt and they mean it. It's not like, hey, I bought this because it's funny and I'm the dad and I'm spending all my money on this vacation. No, they're really angry. So you got to give them the t-shirt. You got to find their favorite foods in the park just to be ready.
Speaker 2:If the man likes barbecue, find the barbecue places. If he likes taco, find the taco places. You got to find the foods and the snacks that will make him happy. Schedule non-park days for longer stays. So you and I, if we were there for seven days, we could go to the park seven days, correct? Rope drop to ride stop. Uh, not, not your grumpy old man. He needs some sitting by the pool days, he does, you know, sitting on the balcony at old key west days okay I can't imagine.
Speaker 1:That it's like like what do our non-park days look? Like it's resort hop Right. Yeah, we come as close to the parks as possible on non-park days.
Speaker 2:In fact, with my trip that's coming up here in three months, we have the last day, because we don't fly out, we don't leave until about four in the afternoon and everybody's going to want to go to Disney Springs. I don't want to go to Disney Springs, I. And everybody's going to want to go to Disney Springs. I don't want to go to Disney Springs, I want to resort hop, Go to the Riviera. Yeah, so we are starting that day at Gwendolyn Rogers for breakfast. So schedule some non-park days.
Speaker 2:You got to know the man's trigger points and plan accordingly. So if he's going to complain about walking around, get him some good shoes. Have a plan in place so that he doesn't have to walk around like all day nonstop. Last thing I have avoid the flipping lines. So this is a catch-22, because a grumpy old man is ticked off that he paid 150 bucks to get in there approximately, but then he's got to pay another 30 bucks to avoid the lines to go on rides. Well, he'll just say another $30, $40 to go on rides. That's complete BS. But you, being the park guru you are, are going to know. Buy Grumpy Old man the multi-pass and single pass so he doesn't have to stand in line Right, because an hour and a half line, oh.
Speaker 1:Do you do that without letting him know you spent it? I think so, oh. How do you do that without letting him know you spent it? I think so, yeah, you just add him to your app, I think, and then just buy it.
Speaker 2:I think it all gets funneled in through her app, right, yeah. And then you just oh, assuming it's through, like a woman right this is. This is a lot we go in this is why we go in now yeah, no reason why. Oh yeah, oh no, no, no, we use this line yeah, we use this line yeah, no, no, we don't go in that way, I'll scan it for you yeah, take care of everything, right, okay, so that's, that's just, if you're gonna go with a grumpy old man dad, grandpa, okay gr Uncle whomever?
Speaker 2:So I broke mine down into categories. So I had food and souvenirs. So these are the complaints that a grumpy old man is going to have Food and souvenirs. It's too bleeping expensive for what you're getting, right? Why am I paying $15 for this? It's barely a mouthful Stupid skewer. Yeah, yeah, stupid skewers. Get no meat on the skewer. So how can you cook a burger this bad, and that's, I think, that goes to avoid galactic grill with all your might and and uh, cosmic rays.
Speaker 2:Just don't buy the burgers. You know backlot express. Don't. Don't buy burgers when you're there. Find something else, because yeah, he'll, he'll, he'll, hate him. Don't take him into the shopping because it's all cheap plastic crap that's way overpriced. All of it was complaining the whole time. Ten dollar10 pins yeah, it should be 99 cents. Right, you'd get five of these at the dollar store for a buck. Yep, $70 sweatshirts no, I like my $12.99 at Walmart.
Speaker 2:Right, it says Disney on it, you sons of biscuits. All right, all right. And then what the hell is this mobile ordering stuff? I got to order my food ahead of time on an app. No, just get in line like a normal person. And then the flip side of that is why am I standing in line for 30 minutes for a crappy hamburger? You know, darned if you do, darned if you don't. Right Now, here's the one $20 for a drink. Well, that's not bad. Actually, I like this, so it's the one thing he won't complain about.
Speaker 2:No, He'll complain at first and then he'll take a sip and be like oh okay, yeah, I could do that. So now rides and walking around my next category. You know he's going to complain about everything making his sciatica worse, the walking, the rides, how he has to contort his bad knee, all that stuff. Then then it'd be like why didn't you tell me to bring my good shoes, my good walking shoes? It's gonna be your fault, right, you're gonna get him good walking shoes, but he's gonna just complain because he didn't bring this other shoes. He'd been fine if he brought these other shoes. He's gonna be like I like that carousel of Progress and that Hall of Presidents and the American Adventure and Mr Lincoln. I like all those. How come there can't be more of those rides, those attractions?
Speaker 1:He's not wrong. No, I like this guy.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but see you know, if it's Grumpy Grandpa and he's brought the kids, the grandkids, teddy Roosevelt ride, yeah, we need a Teddy Roosevelt ride. You know, and if you take them to shows, why are they always singing in these shows? They can't act, obviously, right, they're just singing nonstop. Bunch of no-talent hacks. You know, half the rides just make him sick.
Speaker 1:You know.
Speaker 2:And then he can't find his Tums, wow.
Speaker 1:He's having a bad day too. He doesn't like Disneyland. He's having a bad day.
Speaker 2:Anything to complain about, right? Grumpy old man. So think about this If you're bringing a grumpy old man, this is your warning guide there's absolutely no shade anywhere. You're just out in the sun all day. Right, you know they. Right, you know they could build a bench with a little umbrella over it if they wanted to.
Speaker 1:They just don't want to. Just don't want to. They want to do this. Then there's the whole I paid 150 to get in.
Speaker 2:now I have to pay extra to go on rides. Multi-pass, single pass right, talked about that. Why do I need to get up at 6 am if the park opens at 9 am? So grumpy old man, he doesn't believe in your weird philosophy of rope dropping, no, and having to be. And I thought about this. I understand it. So you got to go get in line an hour early. Oh yeah, I get in line an hour early for well, maybe 45 minutes early for Skyliner.
Speaker 2:If I'm going to Disney World oh, disney World At Pop Century minutes early for Skyliner. If I'm going to Disney World oh, disney World At Pop Century and I was thinking of that trip coming up 45 minutes, and that gets me once everything gets going, I get and then I go stand in line for security and then they take us inside and then I stand in line to wait for the ride. I've literally waited for like an hour and a half so that I don't have to wait, or two hours so that I don't have to wait an hour in line later. Yeah, but it just, it makes sense for a Disney person.
Speaker 2:When you put it that way it's a whole different. So you know, grumpy old man and the weather. Why is it so hot, humid, cold, rainy, windy, any of them, right? Whatever the weather is, he's going to complain. Yeah, and that's just it.
Speaker 1:He's right, he's not wrong on any of those. It's always one of those things in both coasts.
Speaker 2:Yeah. So why would Walt Disney build a park in Central Florida? Swamp snakes, gators, hot, humid, what's he thinking? Hurricanes every once in a while. Stupid Walt Disney, grumpy old man should have been in minnesota.
Speaker 1:That's a good state yeah nothing.
Speaker 2:Nothing bad happens in minnesota build it in arkansas you know very few tornadoes in uh in arkansas. Well, maybe there are a lot, I don't know there's there probably is so I paid 150. It's always going to come back. I paid $150 for this, $150 per day to have all the rides closed because of a little rain. So it's raining to close the rides? Well, that's just stupid. Do I get a refund, Right? Refunds, grumpy old man. I have to carry around an umbrella and a poncho all day and maybe not need them.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:But I still still gotta haul these stupid things around. I gotta carry a backpack taut, humid, rainy, windy, back, sweat, and I yeah, now I got the shape of my backpack on my shirt in the with sweat. You know it's 7 am and it already feels like we're walking around on the face of the sun. It does does, depending on the month. Yeah, it's beautiful, isn't it? I've had one morning of all the days I've gone. So I've gone in November, april, may and twice in September to Disney World, and now I'm going in June. I've had one chilly, slightly chilly morning out of all of those, right, and it was only chilly because I was in the Skyliner and the wind was blowing in there.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so we're going next week and I've had this conversation with many people I work with. They say it's so hot there, how can you stand the heat? And for some reason, when I opened that door and we both wear glasses- yeah. When you open the door to your hotel room, your glasses fog up.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And in 0.2 seconds you have a gleam of sweat over your whole body, under your clothes. Yeah, and for some reason it's one of the most amazing feelings in the world to me. Yeah, Because I know where I'm going next.
Speaker 2:Exactly, it doesn't matter. I just I take it doesn't matter, I just I take a deep breath and said here we go, drink those electrolytes and good to go. Okay, so that's all the travel. So last one okay, that's my last category is on travel, uh-oh just that can't be good categories related to travel. So, first of all, five hundred dollars per night for a hotel room, right for perks. What the heck are perks? What I can get into the park earlier.
Speaker 1:I don't want to get into the park earlier yeah, he could play more, though, if he stayed at all-star yeah, he's gonna have to how far we sit. A value hotel, he'd say any of them.
Speaker 2:He would play more about something because he would love key west and that's as far away from the parks as you get it is, you know.
Speaker 1:But it's where our boys would stay. It's, yeah, it's where the good old boys stay Sipping a smoked turkey Right, having my cigar so perks.
Speaker 2:Can't believe I have to go to the airport at 5 am to catch a flight to a place I don't want to go. Bad enough, I got to go. I got to catch a plane at 5am.
Speaker 1:I mean.
Speaker 2:I gotta get up at Like 3.30 in the morning. Whose stupid idea was that?
Speaker 1:Christy's gonna listen to this. This doesn't come out for a leave, because we leave at 5am.
Speaker 2:Christy's not a grumpy old man?
Speaker 1:She's not.
Speaker 2:I mean hardly any of this applies to Does she identify as a grumpy old man? No, christy, do you identify as a grumpy old man?
Speaker 1:I mean, and everything you're saying, I think the only thing that hits Christy is the no shade thing. Yeah, that's the only thing that's even close to how she.
Speaker 2:Well, she's fair skinned Right.
Speaker 1:It's a legit thing with her. It's fair, it's fair.
Speaker 2:Yes, fair argument For fair skin. Did you get her?
Speaker 1:parasol. Well, I've got her things she doesn't Like. I got her this awesome hat. They sell at Adventureland, at that little store across, right, so they're like Adventureland, indiana Jones.
Speaker 2:Very shady hat.
Speaker 1:Women's hat yes, Right, like something like Audrey Hepburn would wear. Oh, one of those big old things, it's really cool looking. She forgot it last time we went. Oh, one of those big old things, it's really cool looking. She forgot it last time we went. Oh, I have, she has the. I got her the towels, the cooling towels.
Speaker 2:I have those, yeah, the fan the little portable fan.
Speaker 1:And she doesn't use them enough. I don't think Ah.
Speaker 2:I mean she'll pay to differ. Well, we just power through, but are you bringing your umbrellas and ponchos and all that? Yeah, I gotta, I gotta get her umbrella.
Speaker 1:still, you do we have to order that right when we get down this.
Speaker 2:That would be good for walking around to be in the shade yeah, because she.
Speaker 1:She acted the other day like we could share an umbrella if it pours down. Right, we cannot share an umbrella. She's never well you could just stand still in a loving embrace well, yeah, in flor in Florida you can share an umbrella because you just dart to the nearest.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:Right Florida in general, but at Disney you can't just get undercover really quick. All the time you have to have the umbrella.
Speaker 2:And there's not enough for 30,000 people. Right, there's not enough covered areas.
Speaker 1:No. So you're, it's raining in Florida, yeah, and the heat in California.
Speaker 2:You know grumpy old man Something blasted on me all day long. What do you mean? There's not enough room to pack my slip-on shoes. What am I going to do at TSA? He might have to take off his shoes, so don't tell him he can't bring his slip-ons.
Speaker 1:Don't tell him.
Speaker 2:Pack the comfy shoes in the bag and then let him wear his slip-ons to the airport so that he can get through that TSA quickly. Okay, last thing he's going to say why not take the red eye? It'll save $100 per ticket and we don't have to pay for another night in a hotel. We'll just get in there at 7 am, go straight to the parks. Save us all that money.
Speaker 1:Well, I'm pro for that. I'm pro that if you're close, not flying across the country, not flying across the country. So for us, where we live in the Pacific Northwest, disneyland is a great early morning. I go first day every time I fly in. Yeah, Because I agree with that statement the grumpy old man.
Speaker 2:It's 10 o'clock.
Speaker 1:Right, you get there about 10 am, you're in the park around 10 am.
Speaker 2:But see, but see that. Right, that makes sense. I went at it from a different angle because I was actually contemplating doing that to disney world. You were. That was stupid that's just dumb to fly six, seven hours go for a day park all day and then fly home and then fly home to use my one free day I would need a week off of work so I'd lose so much money because it was I had to use all my vacation for one day at disney like how much was eli's january ticket?
Speaker 2:it was like 230 bucks. Yeah, round trip, right for direct flight. But actually that wasn't the most convenient flight for the red eye plan I would have to fly in the day, I believe the day right. He had to stop yeah so anyway, that's all so all my ideas for what grumpy old man would complain about?
Speaker 1:Right. So you went with kind of a partner's view of a grumpy old man. Yeah Right, what I went was I went more like if you're a dad, okay Right, you're a dad that doesn't like Disney, your wife's totally into Disney, yeah, and you're going. I've known some people like you're going, but you don't want to yeah but you're still going to disney right, oh yeah I came with a few ideas of what you could do with the parks to make it more fun okay so mine's more.
Speaker 2:Mine's more about barreling through yeah, so getting into this is going back to the prepping. A grumpy old man for disney like being ready.
Speaker 1:Right, this is. This is personal. I'm being ready, though this is if my partner has nothing to do with what I'm doing. Okay, this is me. I'm the grunt, I'm the grumpy guy, grumpy dad, pretty much the guy that's wearing that shirt out of spite. This says most expensive vacation ever, okay, okay. So my first one is escape routes. Get away from the crowds at the enchanted tiki room, country bears hall of presidents as much as you can. Go into all the air-conditioned places as much as possible. Well, you just sit there. You don't have to pay attention to it if you don't want to you're just sitting in air conditioning yeah like you can go on.
Speaker 1:You can go to hall of presidents like two or three times during the time you're there and just sit there and just sit. Look at your phone in the back because I'm, because I don't want to be here anyway, right?
Speaker 2:yeah, we've all seen that person that's on their phone the whole time I actually watched a video and it was a contest of who could go, and this is after like a long day of being at disney who could go the most amount of times to the American Adventure in a row without falling asleep. You're walking out in the hot sun all day, I'm all in that challenge, and then you sit there and you have to stay awake.
Speaker 1:How many times could you do Carousel of Progress in a row? Could you just spin around?
Speaker 2:I could go a lot Because I would look at different stuff the whole time.
Speaker 1:Okay, yeah, those are good ideas.
Speaker 2:I know.
Speaker 1:If I lived in Southern California, or if we both lived in Southern California at the same time. That'd be a good challenge.
Speaker 2:Who could do something over and over and over again?
Speaker 1:Yeah, we'd both pick a ride like Tiki Room all day, no other rides.
Speaker 2:That would be a good one. I wonder if they'd let you just stay in the tiki room. I don't know. You could probably ask them Without being kicked out.
Speaker 1:You'd have to go. I would want to leave and come back in. Just keep running around. Yeah, I would leave every time, just to get that break.
Speaker 2:Yeah, Because that would be a lot. That would be. I love the tiki room.
Speaker 1:That is one of my must do's. I do, it's a must do. But is it a must do, do, do, do.
Speaker 2:I don't know, I don't think I've ever done it more than like twice in a day and not concurrent. I've never done it twice in a day.
Speaker 1:I think I may have once really, I've only done it once in a day. I do it most days. I didn't last time. We did it when we went with eli and christy, but when I was with Eli's graduating class, we missed it that day. I missed it that day. Eli went. Okay. So my second one. Yeah, snacks, lots of snacks, snacks. Sitting down for meals is great, but snacks can take random time away. If you have lots of different snacks, yeah, you can try them. Stand there and eat them, nibble on the snack.
Speaker 2:To get through the day.
Speaker 1:To get through the day. You just have a random, like a churro here, a Mickey ice cream bar here, right, maybe, if you're a little hungry or a little pizza, flop over Some popcorn, some popcorn. Just random snacks all day long.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Taking time. I'm just wasting time. Yeah, I'm getting through this day. Yep, right, they're doing. They're doing the teacups. I'm having a pretzel. Okay, right, right, yeah, you guys go on that, right, I'll just go and pretzel, I'll be right there actually, if they're on the teacups, you can go get a chimichanga, all right yeah, dj would have two.
Speaker 1:He would have two. Slip away from your family to go on single rider lines by yourself. Say, oh, I gotta go to the bathroom real quick, I'll be right back space mountain single rider line a grumpy old man would do that no this is dad. This, this is more. I want more of the take of a dad trying to get the time away, get okay, right, he doesn't want to be in there, he doesn't want to become grumpy. Right, he's got the kids all around him. What can I do to make my part dance?
Speaker 2:That's the more of the take, I went with. Okay, right, that's a good take. Yeah, this is good advice. All across the board, prepping for your part dance yeah.
Speaker 1:Hey guys, yeah, hey guys. I got to go real quick. I got to get the water too, though you can't not have water. Yeah, yeah, yeah or I drink it all the way here.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that would be where you stash a cup into your backpack or something and then just randomly fill it somewhere when you come back and just be like oh, I finished it up, right, this takes a little prepping, because you have to know what the single rider lines are before you go. And which ones will get you back somewhat quickly.
Speaker 1:Right, and you got to be ready.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Anytime where the kids are starting to cry a little bit and they need something. Yeah Right, oh, I got to go to the bathroom. Oh man, oh.
Speaker 2:Oh, my stomach, that chimichanga really got me.
Speaker 1:Those berries tacos went right through me right, so your wife's gonna want to take a lot of pictures yes all right, your goal and you're taking it as fun. She's gonna take it as she's gonna be mad at you for doing this, but you're just having fun too. Yeah, it's your time. You make a grumpy face every picture. Yeah, like the, I don't want to be here. Face Ooh.
Speaker 2:Like the sad frowdy face, Like the nine-year-old boy face. Yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, every single picture, the whole entire trip, the same exact pose, and you practice it before you go. Yeah, so you get the same exact pose in front of the castle.
Speaker 2:Here's me and Mickey, me and a princess. That's good, yeah, every time that fits along the lines of just screw it up and you'll never be asked to do it again. Like the job, right there's that.
Speaker 1:There's, that's a good one. Yeah, that they won't ask you back to disney after this. And then, when they talk about it years later, you said well, I had fun yeah, yeah, I had a total blast right we expect me not to have fun. Is that what you wanted? What gave you the impression? Yeah, did you want?
Speaker 2:a fake smile. What gave you the impression of having fun? Right memories, yeah memories.
Speaker 1:You're still talking about it. If I would have smiled, you wouldn't talk about this picture ever. Yeah, now they have these frowny faces. You bring it up all the time we're discussing. The pictures sneak away, so your whole plan of the day is to find the perfect hiding spot yeah so you're walking around the park all day, like you walk around the park meaninglessly all day long, right you're just going to stupid rides with the kids and your wife.
Speaker 1:They want to go to small world. Yeah right, you think that's lame because you're you're actually smarter than them, and then so so what you do is you sneak away and you make it a game, trying to find the perfect spot to hide, just casually say, hey kids, is that cinderella? And then when they look, you walk the other way, you just walk right. They're like where's dad at? You're looking around, you got 10, 15 minutes. Yeah, I lost you.
Speaker 2:There's a whole crowd, there's so many people. I couldn't see you guys. I, I stood still and you walked off.
Speaker 1:Right, you just blame them oh look, is the parade starting, and then just go quick, quick run and get a spot.
Speaker 2:I'm going to go to the bathroom.
Speaker 1:You can get Breda Springs and Space Mountain there.
Speaker 2:And then just oh, they rerouted us. I couldn't make it to your spot. They rerouted us, so I couldn't actually walk down that street.
Speaker 1:I know that's a true fact. They do that Right. Couldn't actually walk down that street, I know.
Speaker 2:That's a true fact. They do that Right. I ended up on Guardians in the other park. I ended up sitting down for fried chicken at Plaza Inn.
Speaker 1:I don't know why I'm back in the hotel pool. That was weird. The crowd was crazy.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I ended up in the Disneyland hotel pool, I thought, well, I'm not sure what I'm doing because I'm not real experienced at Disney World or Disneyland, so I just followed the crowd Right and I ended up back in the hotel room.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:I ended up at Trader Sam's, and now I'm at Trader Sam's.
Speaker 1:I don't know what. I'm my third drink already. Yeah, what's going on here?
Speaker 2:I'm confused, wife, so please help. That's just going back to survival training. So if you're ever lost in the woods, don't wander around, stay put. So if you're if you're a man and you're you've lost your family in disneyland.
Speaker 1:Just find a lounge and stay put right, stay put the nearest lounge they'll find you and just order drink after drink until they find you. Yeah, that's the only way to survive. It's the only good advice. It is you can.
Speaker 2:Tragedy could befall you if you don't follow that right. That is yeah, that. Even that almost goes without saying. Right, just find a lounge and order a drink and sit down yeah and you'll be found and saved.
Speaker 1:So your family's going to want to go on these rides, right?
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Small World is the main one that comes to my mind, because you know me, yeah, right, it has a stupid song that you don't like. Uh-huh, right. But just on these rides you don't like, say you don't like Tiana's, you don't like the song, right. Or you don't want to get wet, you don't like the song. Yeah, that too. Or wet, yeah, you don't like the songs on all these rides they have, right. So you make up your own before you go. Hmm, so imagine driving. I mean, I'm going to do this if I'm ever forced to go on.
Speaker 1:I got to start working on this now, so I can do this if I ever have to go on Small World again. Like if I have grandkids someday and they really want to go on Small World. You make up your own lyrics and song to the ride and you sing it very loudly as you go along, yes. Right. Just imagine an ACDC version of Small World.
Speaker 2:I like that Little Brian Johnson, yeah, just rocking through.
Speaker 1:Small World Different lyrics. Yeah, just with the same tune, but all different lyrics.
Speaker 2:Yeah, just.
Speaker 1:Metallica right.
Speaker 2:Well, that's. The challenge is to come up with different lyrics that fit. That fit the tune. Each musician Right and style, yeah.
Speaker 1:That sounds fun.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:I might do that in my head anyway.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And I have one last one okay, the drinks, the drinks. Disney has lots of drinks they do. Your goal is to try as many as you can.
Speaker 2:Yes, that's, that's the main goal, but you can't be inebriated no, you have to, you have to although if you got kicked out of disneyland and you're like a lifetime ban, you've solved your problem. That's a personal choice. Yeah, I wouldn't want to go that route. No, even if I didn't like Disneyland, I don't think I'd want to go that route.
Speaker 1:No, you don't want to be inebriated. That would make you want to go back, though, if you haven't tried all the drinks.
Speaker 2:Yeah, if you're drink-focused, it could be a great trip so you know, here's the thing about the alcohol, the adult beverages, is that if you go that route, I you know what. I think I'm just really dehydrated. I need to go back to the hotel. I, those drinks just made me really, really dehydrated and I didn't bring my electrolyte packets with me. Always leave your electrolyte packets back in the hotel room, right, if you know you don't want to be there, then you have an excuse to go back. I need to go and drink those quickly. What you get? A Gatorade, no, that's not the same.
Speaker 1:I left my electrolytes at Trader Sam's.
Speaker 2:I left my electrolytes at Trader Sam so that's. That's all I have, okay I think we've got people well prepped I yeah, in both ways.
Speaker 1:Yeah, either surviving the day or helping your spouse survive the day.
Speaker 2:Yeah, or your or your gram or your dad and also knowing how, recognizing the signs of what they get, what they're complaining about, or they complain about one of those things, oh oh, I might have a grumpy old man, right? I don't know if it's possible to have a grumpy old woman. You could have a karen, maybe that's our next episode?
Speaker 1:I don't know. I mean, there probably has to be karen in the parks.
Speaker 2:I don't know, we've got to do it. I don't know who the.
Speaker 1:I don't know who the what? The research of grumpy old women at the parks? Karen in the parks, they just want to go.
Speaker 2:I think they're the ones they're walking up with their Bob haircut. Tell him, mickey, they want to speak to his manager. I think that's where the solo trip was invented, it could be.
Speaker 1:I don't know, but anyway, yeah, Thanks for listening to us today and remember the. The final thing is trial the drinks, trial the drinks.
