Cheers 2 Ears!
Two dudes named Aaron toasting their way through the Disney resorts. New episodes drop every Monday morning
Cheers 2 Ears!
Goofy for President: Building a Cabinet of Disney Characters with a Bramble
Pour yourself a Bramble and join us for a delightfully silly political fantasy: What if Goofy ran for president?
As we mix this raspberry-forward cocktail from Goofy's Kitchen at the Disneyland Hotel, we craft a surprisingly thoughtful platform for Disney's most lovable klutz. With campaign slogans like "Not left, not right, just goofy" and "Leadership with a lopsided smile," we envision a presidency focused on kindness, community, and the occasional pie distribution program.
Goofy's domestic policies would transform America into a "Joyful Nation" with tax breaks for dessert companies, federal employees required to dance throughout their workday, and expanded national parks. His "fun-jocational" approach to education would emphasize arts, outdoor learning, and yes—homework that involves watching cartoons. Meanwhile, his "Goofstead Act" would revitalize neighborhoods through community gardens, block parties, and local involvement in schools.
We meticulously assemble Goofy's dream cabinet, debating which Disney characters would best complement his leadership style. Minnie Mouse earns unanimous approval as Chief of Staff for her organizational prowess, while former opponent Scrooge McDuck heads Treasury. Other inspired picks include Mulan for Defense, Pocahontas for Interior, and Donald Duck as Press Secretary (can you imagine those briefings?).
By the time we reach Goofy's inauguration speech, our silly thought experiment reveals something meaningful: perhaps what America really needs is a leader who reminds us that "we don't need to be perfect to care for each other. Maybe we just need a big heart, an open ear, and courage to do what's right, even if we trip over our own shoes along the way."
Subscribe for more pop culture cocktails and conversations that find surprising depth in delightfully goofy premises!
Here's who we are and what is in store for you
Hello and welcome to Cheers to Ears, and today we have a great subject we do. It's kind of silly, it's kind of goofy, it's kind of goofy. We're talking about. If Goofy ran for president, what would that look like? We don't know.
Speaker 2:Let's talk about it. We don't know. Well, let's talk about it. Let's talk about it by drinking a Bramble.
Speaker 1:A Bramble, and where would we? At the Disneyland Hotel. What a great place, what a great place to have a Bramble. Yes, right, so Goofy's Kitchen is a all-you-care-to-enjoy kind of thing right, Breakfast or dinner. Dinner is $64 per adult, $37 a child, but the alcohol is added price to that.
Speaker 2:It's an added price?
Speaker 1:yes, right. So let me scroll back down to the Bramble and it is made with there. It is Tito's homemade vodka, chambord agave, nectar syrup, lime juice and mint, and it's $18 extra. Okay, under that price.
Speaker 2:We followed that. We didn't get Chambord, but that's a raspberry liqueur.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I thought we had some here, but we did not. But we got raspberry liqueur.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I just picked up a bottle with whatever they had at the store and everything else. The proportions that they gave it was an ounce a shot, basically an ounce and a half, of the tito's vodka. It's at 0.42 ounces of the raspberry liqueur, the chambord, huh, which was kind of odd. But yeah, basically I did about a half shot, because I did one shot and just poured it in, and then I did one shot of the agave nectar because it wanted the same amount, right, and then one lime, the juice from one lime, and we put a little piece of mint on there to garnish it.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Didn't muddle it in. It couldn't the recipe for a regular bramble. It wasn't muddled in, so I didn't do that. It tastes like the raspberry filling in a cake. Okay, like if you buy a cake, that raspberry filling like the artificial raspberry, yeah stuff. That's kind of what it tastes like. I get that it's, but it's good. This is really good. It's just it's sweet. It's very sweet, very raspberry forward I like it.
Speaker 1:I'm down. I'm down. I'd order this yeah, let's go bramble I might order if I went to gooby's kitchen.
Speaker 2:I might might want to be the first ones I look at it's interesting because you know, when we broke down with our drinks, okay, we talked about fruity drinks, yes, and what was the other category that we went with? Margaritas, martinis, martinis and then like cocktails, right, and this kind of fits into the cocktail, but not real well as far as I. It doesn't remind it feels like a fruity drink, it's not like a cocktail, is really alcohol forward, and this isn't alcohol forward, even though it has a shot and a half of booze in it. But it's not like a cocktail, is really alcohol forward, and this isn't alcohol forward, even though it has a shot and a half of booze in it, but it's, I think, the sweetness yeah it is.
Speaker 1:It is sweet, but it does taste like a hard liquor drink. Yeah, like something. You order the bar like an old-fashioned style yeah, it's not yeah, it's not totally alcohol forward like that that it's in an old-fashioned glass.
Speaker 2:That's how they served it, with crushed ice. Thank you again, christy, for the use of your ice. She had a drink, christy did. Speaking of Christy, it was a couple months ago and I forgot what it was. I have a feeling she would like this one. I think she'd like a Bramble too.
Speaker 1:Yeah, might have to make her one, Maybe, and when she gets home tonight we'll thank Christy with a here's a bramble. After a hard week here's a bramble, and she had a tough one this week.
Speaker 2:Okay. So all educators, right now, our hearts go out to you because you're wrapping up your year and it's always a poop show.
Speaker 1:Let's just say this she's not having a problem right now with any of the children.
Speaker 2:It's either going to be the kids or the staff. It's not the staff either, really.
Speaker 1:It's the adults around that are I don't know.
Speaker 2:It's just hard to wrap up because there's a tension of wrapping everything up and here's you got this end date and everything needs to be completed by this end date.
Speaker 1:It just causes stress, right, and yeah, like stressful, like goofy would have yes if he was running for president and trying to win the election and you know what he is right decided he was running for president, right so we broke everything down. Here's goofy's run from both of our takes. We haven't talked about this at all, like always. No, who knows what we're coming up with. So I started with campaign slogans. Did you start the same?
Speaker 2:way, we did talk about this one.
Speaker 1:We talked about what we're going to do, but we didn't talk about anything.
Speaker 2:Not real detailed, but we still followed, like the same.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but who we picked or what we're going to say or no not at all. So give us, do you have? I have two campaign slogans. What do you have? Okay, Give us some, I have.
Speaker 2:I have a few. Okay, give us some. So I have classic goofy vibes Gorsh for the people. Okay, Vote goofy. It couldn't get any goofier. Okay, one kinder or a kinder nation. One goof at a time. Mm-hmm, putting the goof at a time, putting the yuck in democracy, that one didn't make a whole lot of sense. Let's trip forward together. I like that one. Then there's slogans with heart, leadership, with a lopsided smile falling down, getting back up together. A vote for goofy is a vote for goodness. Oh and wholesome chaos. Energy, not left, not right, just goofy.
Speaker 1:That's kind of what I have. Really, I put no more left or right, just goofy, just goofy. I was going to put no more Democrats, but I liked left or right, but that's funny.
Speaker 2:Silly enough to listen, goofy enough to lead. So those were the ones I came up with. What would you have?
Speaker 1:Well, I only had two. I had my. No more left or right, just goofy. That was my main campaign slogan.
Speaker 2:okay, which you also and I think that's his campaign slogan, and so we've reached a consensus what else what would vote for me?
Speaker 1:won't you? Oh yeah, that's why they're on.
Speaker 2:the only ones who wouldn't are the are all the pundits right now who are griping about Disney adults.
Speaker 1:Right there's a lot of it out there.
Speaker 2:And you know what. Nobody's complaining about your hobbies. Stop complaining about other people's the whiners. Okay, see, goofy wouldn't give grief about people's hobbies, no, he'd be like you want to go to Disneyland as an adult, go ahead.
Speaker 1:Right. That's why my new national holiday was one of his first campaign promises. Oh, is national goof off day. Oh, or all you do is goof off all day. It's like nationally, like on this day he has now.
Speaker 2:I had chet gpt help me with some of this. Okay, but he had national pie day. National pie day, yes.
Speaker 1:Everyone deserves a slice of happiness. I have something like that in my tax breaks.
Speaker 2:Federal Pie Distribution Program yeah.
Speaker 1:We get pies, so I have tax breaks. This is, under my Joyful Nation policy, okay, tax breaks for companies that produce ingredients that go into and dessert items. So any dessert if you make, like sugar plants, that kind of thing, tax breaks. If you make a dessert, or like Marie Callender's frozen dinners, frozen pies, tax breaks, huge tax breaks for these companies so you can produce more desserts. And that federal employees must break into dance at random times during their day. All federal employees.
Speaker 2:Oh, it's mandated do they have to make tiktoks?
Speaker 1:no, no, it's going to be men that have to like. It's so many times a day you have to dance, it's gonna be very encouraged that make everyone smile. Okay, that's my joyful nation policy. What else do you have?
Speaker 2:So free public transit? Okay, oh, that's good. Run by cartoons, oh, like Roger Rabbit style. So they tap in. He taps into Monsters Inc with the laughing, the giggle, energy and Launchpad McQuack. He's the transportation czar, I would say. What about Zootopia? Oh, yes, because they do. They have trains that go to all of them, and that's just it. There's a lot of great transportation options in Disney and he wants to bring that to America. I think it would look like a roller coaster. It could, yeah, you'd get where it would work, although a lot of times he's driving around in like a jalopy type of car, right, except for when he and Max were trying to get to or go camping. Yes, they weren't going to the Powerline concert yet, not yet. No, they were just going camping.
Speaker 1:Okay, okay. So I have my health care plan. Okay, I call it Goof Care because it's a take on Obamacare, because it's universal, free health care for all pets.
Speaker 2:Okay, just pets. See, he focused more on for me, the mental health Okay for health care. Yeah, mental health care was Goofy's focus. That makes sense. Yeah, because setting up a silliness hotline? If you just need, because of your mental health, you need to call someone for some silliness, okay, there's a national hotline. Yeah, they'll set up. And then government-supported laughter therapy.
Speaker 1:Oh, that's good. Yeah, that's good, yeah, that's good.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Man. I think if we were both his campaign manager, we can come up with a good one between the two of us. So far, yeah, we have a lot of good ideas. I don't think anyone could beat us. So that's. Is there any more healthcare policies?
Speaker 2:No, more healthcare policies Okay.
Speaker 1:How about education reform?
Speaker 2:It's fun-jocational.
Speaker 1:Oh, fun-jocational. Yes, oh, that's good. Yes, I can see that in schools Posters, yeah.
Speaker 2:That's good. So education, it would be an annual field trip to a Disney park. Perfect, yeah, that has to be part of it. Kind of perfect, yeah, that has to be part of it. The music arts very heavy, you know. Dance in school. A lot of outdoors in lieu of his like sports activities getting out yeah very heavy emphasis on outdoors and and health education right because, as we know from the goofy how-to movies like skiing and swimming, yeah, those are all important.
Speaker 1:Right, I would discourage him opening a flight school. No, yeah, I would discourage that. No, he's not having Embry-Riddle's not going to be under his Not a goofy mandated school.
Speaker 2:How about for?
Speaker 1:education reform, anything else? Nope, that was pretty much Okay. My education reform, it's an emphasis on improving arts. Okay, right, yeah. And for public universities to have a new major and a doctorate program in magic. Oh, Card tricks, just magic tricks. Yeah, just in general, just so you can do them in parties.
Speaker 2:The rest of your life.
Speaker 1:You can major in magic, major in magic Right, have a doctorate in magic. Animated history taught at all major universities, the history of animation, yeah, that's pretty huge. Plus K-12, the homework involves watching more cartoons, like an edutainment emphasis on any cartoon, like what's the meaning of this cartoon? Who drew that character? Breaking down the cartoons in every day, what?
Speaker 2:did we learn? What did we learn from that?
Speaker 1:cartoon, so it's cartoon-based education. Yeah, all homework has to do with watching cartoons.
Speaker 2:Like learning how to properly. Well, this isn't disney but, like you said, any cartoon, but any cartoon. Wiley coyote blowing himself up with the dynamite right don't do that yeah, you learn how to properly handle dynamite. Right, he didn't do that. Yeah, not that you get a handle dynamite, but you just learn how not to right or just not to. In general, that's my education reform. Okay.
Speaker 1:So what do you got for economics? Anything for economics.
Speaker 2:Economics. Well, that has more to do with who he names as his secretary of the treasury. Okay and so. So we'll talk more about that later. We'll talk more about that. We'll get into that more later, okay.
Speaker 1:I have a couple of things on his own before, even because so this is before he becomes president. Names anybody. He's running on this. He's trying you to vote for him. Yeah, right, he's gonna have tax breaks for the kind yes, yes, right. And the theme park tax plan major tax breaks for building any theme park rides right, more theme parks, any theme park kind of thing will have major tax breaks. And the government will help with subsidies for for to make it cheaper for people. Yeah, right, maybe, even, maybe, even given every citizen, like like, a free pass to a park for a day.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that could, that could be something, I think so I didn't write that down, but that could be. I think that's something he would work with.
Speaker 1:You know like like we gave money, like we used to get the check, like the economic plan check, to boost our economy, I think to boost happiness. You just give them a day at Disney.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so one of his. For me it's he breaks it down to neighbor initiatives. Neighborhood initiatives it's the local community. So he does. He's promising to support the local community a lot you know. So community grants and support, kindness projects, shared gardens, lemonade stands and block parties oh good idea, because when trouble hits your neighbor should be the first ones you go to. Right you know he doesn't want necessarily people relying on the federal government having to show up, so it's things to encourage where you get to know your neighbors. That's very cool.
Speaker 1:That's something we should do anyway. Volunteer yes, this is huge, this is a real one. I mean, you just went deep on this. You went from our little silly episode to saying something we should really do in our country is to get to know our neighbors more Because, like right now, I have the best next-door neighbors you could ever ask for, right, yes, in the history of mankind, uh-huh, they're my favorite people and we should get to know our neighbors more. Like the people on the other side of me, I have no idea who they are. He's never even made eye contact with me when I wave. Oh, it's like that, right, so yeah.
Speaker 2:Interesting. That's a great one, also involved with your local schools. So if there's work to be done on the financial, it cuts the budget because basically the neighborhood or whoever is part of that school, goes in to do the repairs. If it needs to be painted, they go in. It saves labor costs and so, yeah, it's just being neighborly.
Speaker 1:I'm going to call it the Homestead Act, like when they built homesteads. When everyone used to come and help. Yes, okay, Okay. Goofy's Homestead Act. That's not taken. The Goofstead Act, the Goofstead Act, yeah Right. So the last one I have is foreign policy. Okay, I have all. World peace summits will be held at Disney parks.
Speaker 1:Yes, Because, they can be held around the world, and it will be after. No talking will be done, no discussion and negotiations, until one park day is complete. Yes, so everyone must go to park day and not talk any politics or anything. Yes, so after they ride, rides eat some food, go to shows, go to some shows, go see country bears, yes, and then we'll sit down.
Speaker 2:Then we'll sit down and we'll talk about Right, you know.
Speaker 1:And every meeting will start and end between nations with a hug.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I can see that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's all of my policy, goofy is one of the friendliest characters.
Speaker 2:Yeah, as a side note, and it's just his way of politicking. Okay, but I've never had a character like every time I pass by Goofy, he sticks his hand out for a high five or a fist bump. Every time I've walked by him, usually it's California Adventure. Every time he sees me hand comes out it's either a high five or a fist bump. He's a great guy and this is what he wants to do. It's connect with people, right, he's the people's president. He wants to connect with people, right, he's that. He's the people's president.
Speaker 1:He wants to connect with people. We need that. We need the people's president again, one of those people that everyone in the country just there's no reason not to like him. There's no reason not to like him. No, you could disagree with him, yeah, but there's no reason not to like him exactly yeah, what are policies you have?
Speaker 2:well, so I did have some climate. You know policies. And plant a tree, get a cookie. Okay, yeah, that was one of them. And Goofy's going to lead by example. He's trading in his car for a solar-powered unicycle. Oh nice, yes, so it'll encourage unicycle riding to and from your place of work, if it's possible Some people it's just not. But then he's going to increase public transportation. So you know, that's getting more cars off of off the streets and there'll be more trees and more green spaces are you gonna like maybe add a unicycle lanes?
Speaker 2:yeah certain areas like unicycle, only to make it easier or like portland did it, where they have the bike highways, right. So those are to keep bicycles off of the main streets. Uh-huh, two blocks over, they'll designate that street as a bike highway and there'll be no stop signs going in like a certain direction. So if it's a major street going north-south, if you go over two blocks north-south, there are no stop signs.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:So bicycles don't have to come to a stop every block or every two blocks or something. They can just keep riding straight through. Yeah, so it'll be initiatives like that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, what do you think about the unicycle share plan, where you just pick up a unicycle on the side of the road and start riding it and pay?
Speaker 2:a certain fee on your app. Well, I mean unicycle on the side of the road and start riding it. Oh yeah, certain fee like on your app.
Speaker 1:Well, I mean there's lots of tax incentives to do stuff like that. Okay, yeah, currently right, and I mean the unicycle dealerships will just go way up. Oh, they will like like yeah, dick, hannah, unicycle yeah, dick hannah unicycle yeah yeah, this is like unicycle of philadelphia of it. Look, this would be huge yeah yeah, you're boosting the economy big time right there. I love it. So that's our. That's our. That's everything we're running on right. That's all our campaign promises and stuff we're saying we're yeah, well, what else you have there's.
Speaker 2:So the last thing, this one, just I just remembered this one. Okay, national parks, oh yeah, so again, watching his old cartoons and getting out in the outdoors. There's going to be a re-emphasis in in national parks and it maybe not necessarily expanding but encouraging people to go to national parks, which will include increased funding. Okay, trying to decrease those fees, because it's like 30, 40 bucks to get into a national park for the day, or you have to buy a year pass for I think it's's like $100 or $120 or something like that.
Speaker 1:Or just be a veteran yeah.
Speaker 2:That's what you should do?
Speaker 1:You should serve, be a veteran, and then you get a free pass.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but will there be any more war with Goofy as president? I don't think so.
Speaker 1:Probably not, but we already have the veterans that are already there, already there, already there, already there, right, but you should have thought of that earlier, people.
Speaker 2:Either way it'll be, the goal is to encourage using those national spaces. Perfect yeah.
Speaker 1:Perfect, so next we have our cabinet.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:And I went. I don't know how many positions you have. I've tried to do the whole cabinet Six, eight, 10. I have 12.
Speaker 2:Okay, 12 positions. I was trying to come up with all of them. I don't know, it's on top of my head, okay, well, first of all, who's vice president?
Speaker 1:Well, I struggle with this. Yes, I had to pull work last night because I had a couple other people that would be vice president that have different positions. Mm-hmm. So my vice president for reasons that we'll talk about in a second is pluto. Okay, pluto's my vice president. He doesn't say much. No, he's not opinionated. No, we're both dogs. Right, it's a dog campaign. Yes, right, he's also mild-mannered. Okay, he only gets upset with those crazy chipmunks. Yes, that like annoy him all the time oh see, that wouldn't work. Because you have Chippendale.
Speaker 2:They have.
Speaker 1:yes, I don't have Chippendale on my cabinet. So who's your vice president?
Speaker 2:Launchpad McQuack. And this is he appeals, I would believe, to the veteran. Okay To the veteran, okay To the blue-collar guy, but he's also going to assure the California vote. There's just something about him I get that he's going to lock in the California vote and I think, because he's been around the world on his trips and adventures, he's going to have a little bit better idea with foreign policy. He's going to be able to help on that front, dealing with the foreign policy. So that's why I went with Launchpad and McQuack.
Speaker 2:Now, granted, in ways they do have very similar personalities, but I think it's a unified ticket in the fact that these are both good guys Right. It's not like, hey, I like that guy, that's funny, but they got a scumbag. Or oh, he's a scumbag but he's got a nice guy for a vp. No, these are two nice guys right, but there are some differences. That he brings to the ticket for helping during election. California vote, like I said, probably like the whole west coast vote, but blue collar is going to help him with the rust belt, you know so you're, you're trying, you're helping to get elected is your main purpose and a lot of times vp.
Speaker 2:That's good. Yeah, that's a good.
Speaker 1:I went with more of a silent. He won't do anything. I want more of the walter mondale, dan quayle type vice president. Yeah, that who? Who was he vice president for like 20 years later? Was he a vice president? Yeah, I don't remember if he was or not. Yeah, that's my choice.
Speaker 2:And you can go either way, right.
Speaker 1:You really can Right. Pluto has no aspirations to ever be president.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 1:So who's chief of?
Speaker 2:staff. Chief of staff. I have Minnie Mouse, so do I what? It just makes sense. Well, she starts off as his campaign manager.
Speaker 1:Yes, I have that too.
Speaker 2:Very organized.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:You know she keeps things running smoothly.
Speaker 1:And Goofy's going to, he's going to flub up, he just does you know she's organized, she's fancy, yes, in a way to help that side of him that he doesn't have, because the chief of staff is closer to the president than the vice president. Really, yes. Like a right-hand man.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and that's what Minnie's going to do.
Speaker 1:Yeah, she's going to sharpen him up and help him with all those little goof-ups he makes. Right, yeah, okay, what's next?
Speaker 2:It's secretary of the treasury. Okay, what's next?
Speaker 1:It's Secretary of the Treasury. Okay, who's your?
Speaker 2:Secretary of Treasury. So this one's going to sound crazy. Yeah, it was his opponent in the election. That's what I was going to do too.
Speaker 1:Scrooge McDuck Right, I was going to make it his opponent too. But I put Scrooge McDuck as the Secretary of Treasury, but he's not running as the second treasury, but he's not running. I didn't have him running, I had him running. He could run too. I had him run the whole time, up until just hours before our episode.
Speaker 2:He lost for the same reason that Nixon lost JFK it was the likability factor, but a very competent individual, right. So he's just going to—because, honestly, I think we don't want to trust Goofy with financial policy too much so we need somebody who's going to understand strong fiscal policy, and that's why, yeah, scrooge McDuck. Now Scrooge McDuck ran against him. Yeah, and it's always one of those tricky things to bring in a former adversary as someone to, but Scrooge understands this and they're on board. Yeah, they're on board to work together.
Speaker 1:Perfect, perfect. What about Secretary of State? I had Daisy Duck. Daisy, she's not on my cabinet. Yes, daisy Duck, that's a good one, she's very diplomatic.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so, secretary of State, you want somebody who's able to deal with hotheads. Who's a bigger hothead than Donald Duck? Right?
Speaker 1:That's true. I went more the intelligent side, Like who could be a leader too. Okay, Like who probably—this person might run for president next time. Okay, I think I have Jasmine. Okay.
Speaker 2:And I stuck—I didn't venture off the old canon.
Speaker 1:Oh I, I went crazy, I went all over the place yeah, it was because it was a little overwhelming.
Speaker 2:So I had to like narrow down what I was thinking.
Speaker 1:I was trying to think of my favorite disney character all around to get the right place. Yeah, that's why I picked jasmine, because she's a true leader. She leads people already and so, secretary of state she'll, she'll be able to handle those other countries very well because she's from one right. Yes, right originally.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:Right, so she legally can't run for president in our ways.
Speaker 2:No, she couldn't.
Speaker 1:But who knows, maybe she was born here and then moved there and became queen.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I just thought Daisy could handle dealing with foreign diplomats, foreign countries. I thought she could handle that very well she probably can, yeah, she can defuse situations extremely well, which frees up Goofy to handle more domestic policy.
Speaker 1:I like that.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Okay, what's next? Secretary?
Speaker 2:of Defense.
Speaker 1:Secretary of Defense.
Speaker 2:Who do you have? You go ahead. Okay, I have.
Speaker 1:Mulan Okay, true warrior, one of the best warriors In Disney Animated history, probably. So that's why she's my Without going bad guy. Yes, you have to go villain To get a better warrior Than her, probably.
Speaker 2:Well, and you don't want to go villain Because you don't want a war hawk Right Goof goofy wouldn't want a war.
Speaker 1:No, mulan's not going to do that. But if something happens, she will defend us well. I think she'll help defend us well, she'll. She'll push for a, she'll push for a medium-sized defense budget. She'll push for, like, like, strengthening our military in a way to defend us. Well, she'll know what we need in the future, and she's good at knowing what's going to happen. Yeah, so who is your defense? Do you have a department defense?
Speaker 2:I did. This was one because I was thinking the inner circle. This was one I like. What do you think AI? And now I don't like what AI picked. It picked Darkwing Duck. Oh yeah, yeah, ryan, you know.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's a good one too.
Speaker 2:That would be another good one. Right, that's a good one, too, and I'm trying to go through all of them in my head, right?
Speaker 1:All the characters. So do you want me to go through the rest of mine real quick? Sure go ahead and then you can think more Sure, if you want to do that, if you want to go outside your inner circle and maybe think of Are good. Are good yeah.
Speaker 2:Okay, how about Secretary of Education Person or three-way shared post? Here we do it in a week. They're young, they're going to push forward education into the you know 21st even into the 22nd century.
Speaker 1:So they're going to push for innovation. Man, do they go to school? Even they just skip school all the time.
Speaker 2:I feel like they're too busy. So they will lost education as it has Evolved as it has been. They are going to evolve it into what it should be Okay. So they're going to be very forward thinking and thinking outside the box on educational answers.
Speaker 1:They will think outside the box so way more than my person spaces the space.
Speaker 2:What should be done? How learning? Because think of those three, how tough would it be for a teacher to engage them? They know that and they're going to think of alternatives for the kids who are just outside the box. Right, and that's why they're my secretary of education. Yes, jointly. Yeah, that's funny, okay.
Speaker 1:So mine is going to. She's going to more with Goofy's like edutainment thing, right, because she's very her mind is a fantasy. She's always thinking. She reads so much that she's always her mind's in a fantasy all the time. I could have went with Rapunzel. I thought of that for a second, but I went with Belle.
Speaker 2:Belle or Rapunzel would be good ones, right? So if there's like an undersecretary position, yeah. So if there's like an undersecretary position, yeah, because, and that would be a good balance, I think, to Huey, dewey and Louie, yeah, it's funny. It's funny Because, well, and even if they all work in tandem, because I think Belle is going to be the reading, the writing and arithmetic, those are going to be her strong points. The arts are going to be would be Rapunzel's. So you know, but innovation in education, there's Huey, dewey and Louie.
Speaker 1:I want to see where that ends up in four years. Yeah, that's funny. How about your secretary of environment? Do you have one of those? I didn't. That's not one you have.
Speaker 2:I have secretary of interior and secretary of agriculture. What have you are those? I forgot agriculture. That's a big one.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, I missed a couple.
Speaker 2:But is there a Secretary of the Environment? I think so. I don't think there is. There's not. I don't know. Let's check. Hey Siri, is there a Secretary of the Environment? Nope, there is in Mexico, not here in the.
Speaker 1:Us wrong country buddy, so not no environment secretary, what would that? What would that fall under?
Speaker 2:okay, let's, let's move on. So secretary of interior, and this is, I think it's combination of secretary of interior and secretary of agriculture, so my secretary interior was pocahontas, so that was my secretary. Secretary of Environment, so I'll go with Interior. Genuine connection to nature and environment and, like I talked about the national parks.
Speaker 1:Oh, it's the Administrator of the Environmental Protection Agency. Okay, that's what I was thinking, yes, so, secretary of Interior, you had Pocahontas as well Pocahontas yeah, and that just makes sense.
Speaker 2:That's yeah, and it'll keep goofy from turning national parks into amusement rides. Yeah, that's an easy one, yeah, yeah, you know, she's a good person to head that up because he wants to focus on national parks, getting people into national parks, but not getting them in there because they've created, you know, the crater lake coaster. Right, it's because people want to connect with nature.
Speaker 1:Right, and she'll understand that so okay, what about health and human?
Speaker 2:services I actually I don't think I had.
Speaker 1:I did not have a health and human services, so I picked someone who is uncontroversial, who's not, who's not going to like one way or the other and be all divisive like our last few have, and that is doc of the seven dwarves. Yeah, he's gonna be straightforward.
Speaker 2:Here's the answer there's no other options no, go with the best answer. So, secretary of agriculture, you didn't have that. No, just so do yours. Claribel cow, she's a farmer foodie, that's easy.
Speaker 1:I didn't speak of agriculture. She'll promote sustainable farming.
Speaker 2:Yeah, they're like 14th in line for the presidency, and we all know that. Yeah, it would be Claribel Cow, because she knows what the farmers and the ranchers need. Okay, secretary of Transportation.
Speaker 1:So I went hilarious on this one. This guy's going to try so hard. He's not the best pick Okay you can have better, more qualified people probably but this guy's going to love you every second of the day and he's going to try really hard to do a great job.
Speaker 2:Okay, and that's Tow Mater.
Speaker 1:Because my first thought was Lightning McQueen, but I switched it Because I like Tow Mater the job. He's going to be a great cabinet member. The meetings will be fun, yes yes, he'll.
Speaker 2:You know cow tipping on occasion I went with Donald Duck. Okay, because so there's a lot of frustration with transportation and I think he's just angry enough to get that stuff solved, because he will not quit until it's solved. Do you think he'll promote road rage? I don't think so, because he'll expand highways Because he's so frustrated. Oh, okay, he would get road rage Right, but I think he'll do something about it that gears him towards solving road rage. Okay, and because understanding that public transportation will get people off the roads, he's going to help encourage that as well.
Speaker 1:Okay, what's next?
Speaker 2:Who's your attorney general?
Speaker 1:I don't have an attorney general either. I should have done this off the top of my head. I should have looked at the cabinet people, yeah, attorney general, I've got to do it.
Speaker 2:Basil of Baker Street.
Speaker 1:Oh, okay, he's a mouse.
Speaker 2:Detective from the Great Mouse.
Speaker 1:Detective? Yeah, that's a good one. Yeah, who would be my Attorney General at the top of my head? Man, I don't know, I don't have one.
Speaker 2:You know who else would be really good? Mufasa, I'm picking.
Speaker 1:Granted if he weren't dead. You know who mine's going to be who? Well, there's only one great answer to this question, because it's the person that plays the part and not the part itself. It's the little green army men from toy story as the attorney general, the guy, just any because it's.
Speaker 2:It's arlie emery. Oh, arlie ermy. Yeah, yes, I've always said his name wrong. I don't know why. I always thought it was emery, but anyway, I rip. See, we both picked two dead guys.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I think he's my, he's my answer, not for the itself, but for the person who plays him.
Speaker 2:I was just looking for like police Now Attorney General, what?
Speaker 1:about Zootopia. What's her name?
Speaker 2:Zootopia.
Speaker 1:Judy Hopps, judy Hopps, I like that answer, judy Hopps.
Speaker 2:She would be very fair, yeah, but I don't know, I just I don't know if she has the wisdom. Very fair, yeah, but I don't know, I just I don't know if she has the wisdom. Now, whoever who was the see, the mayor wants that job.
Speaker 1:I could see the mayor of zootopia.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but I like judy hops and the police chief, I think would make a good one probably but really I kind of want mufasa's wisdom in the attorney general position that that's a good two yeah.
Speaker 1:That's a good one too.
Speaker 2:But if I had to go with a character who's still alive, judy Hopp's going to get there. I like Judy Hopp, she will, she absolutely will.
Speaker 1:Yeah, she'll bring vigor into the role. Yes, absolutely.
Speaker 2:I like this. I like Judy Hopp's.
Speaker 1:Okay, what else don't I have? Tell me more kind of positions. I don't know or don't remember.
Speaker 2:I think oh, press secretary is the only one I have left.
Speaker 1:Okay, so I have a couple other ones, then I guess maybe Press secretary I have Donald Duck, because that would be hilarious. It's my favorite position, because once the press pisses him off, his face turns red and he goes. Ah, it's great, that's a great show. It'd be comedy to watch press secretary press meetings at the.
Speaker 2:White House. That would be good.
Speaker 1:Donald Duck is everyone at work thought he should be my vice president, donald Duck.
Speaker 2:I have a shared press secretary Again, a shared job. It's Chip and Dale Very likable you have. It'd be funny, dale, very likable you have. That'd be funny. Like when the press ask a question, that's really dumb. You can have like Dale looking at them like yeah, and then Chip, you know, you have some lighthearted banner and then you've got a guy who can get in there and give you the real answers. Right, yeah, I like that.
Speaker 1:That's pretty good. The only other one I had was well, no, I had the intelligence secretary.
Speaker 2:Like head of the CIA person. Director of National Intelligence, right DNI, okay Perry the.
Speaker 1:Platypus. What is he from? You never seen Phineas and Ferb? No, I have not. You are missing out. It is amazing. It's one of Eli's favorite shows ever. He's a private I007 detective dude. He's a platypus. That's Phineas and Ferb's pet. They have a pet platypus, okay, but then when Phineas and Ferb go off and do their crazy adventures, he goes down into a secret hole that's in a different part of their yard every episode and ends up. He ends up solving the whole problem, usually because he's a secret detective that he always stops doofenshmirtz from his plan. Doofenshmirtz does not like preparing the platypus at all. And so then I have secretary of labor is my last one, oh okay.
Speaker 2:And then I have mickey mouse yeah, I mean someone who knew walt that closely yeah, because he just going to keep everything on the up and up Right and that's the end of my cabinet.
Speaker 1:I mean, who knows what the real cabinet looks like. We should have looked up what the United States cabinet actually was. But then the people they run against. So did you have them just running against Scrooge McDuck?
Speaker 2:You know who would be the director of national intelligence, edna.
Speaker 1:Yeah, be, oh, yeah, more the director of national intelligence edna, yeah, from the incredibles, she'd be okay, but perry is great. Perry is one of the best. He's a super duper spy. Okay, you gotta see.
Speaker 2:You gotta see perry first okay, yeah, I will, but for right now, off the top of my head, I did I asked chat, gpt, what they thought? Yeah, they, they mentioned Zazu, okay, not bad. They mentioned some others that didn't make any sense. But they didn't mention Edna, which they mentioned, another character from the Incredibles. But Edna, I think that's a good one, right, and Mr Incredible.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Not for D&I, but for another cabinet position.
Speaker 1:Okay, so that's our cabinet.
Speaker 2:That's our cabinet.
Speaker 1:So now I just have. So you just have just running against Scrooge McDuck, and then Scrooge McDuck accepts the role. So I put three other people that he's running against, right, oh, okay.
Speaker 1:I just came up with people all the time this has. There's no rhyme or reason to what I did. Okay, because I thought a good person that would want to be maybe president and would make a pretty good president and be a tough election probably would be the person he ran against in the beginning would be Elsa. So she's not in the cabinet, she's not being taught, he's not even talking to her about cabinet positions. No, so she kind of wants to be part of something.
Speaker 1:Yeah so she runs for president, all the top bunch of people that want her to run and stuff, and she's a bigger leader, kind of smarter, yeah Right. And then for hilarity and someone who wants to be president, because why the heck not? And we're going to drink every day in the White House, right, jack Sparrow.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 1:And then a surprise candidate came out of nowhere. I mean, he's not even. I don't even know where he came from. He's not even in the Disney universe. But why is Bugs Bunny running too?
Speaker 2:I don't understand.
Speaker 1:An outsider.
Speaker 2:That's weird. Somebody popped in my head.
Speaker 1:Jack.
Speaker 2:Skellington, that'd be good. Yeah, I could see him wanting to.
Speaker 1:What's this? The White? House is right here and this so I haven't drank.
Speaker 2:I haven't drunk. We've got about half hours left, so I wanted I asked old AI to write me Goofy's inauguration speech. Okay, yes, so we'll end with this, garsh. Thank you kindly everybody, and I won't do the voice my fellow Americans and fellow critters too. I stand here today feeling mighty humble and just a little surprised that y'all picked me a tall, floppy-eared fella who once got his head stuck in a mailbox, to be your next president. But maybe, maybe that's the point. Maybe we don't need to be perfect to care for each other. Maybe we just need a big heart, an open ear and courage to do what's right, even if we trip over our own shoes along the way.
Speaker 2:This country of ours is like a big old family picnic. Everybody brings something to the table. Doesn't matter if it's apple pie or potato salad. What matters is that we share, we listen and we laugh together when the ants show up. I may not have all the fancy words or big brainy plans, but I promise you this I'll wake up every day trying my goofiest to make this country kinder, fairer and a little more fun.
Speaker 2:I believe in communities where neighbors help neighbors, not because they have to, but because it and a little more fun. I believe in communities where neighbors help neighbors, not because they have to, but because it feels right in their hearts. I believe in kids who still dream big and old folks who remember when dreams built the future. And I believe that no matter who you are if you're a duck, a dog, a mouse or even a grumpy old cat you deserve to be heard, respected and maybe even invited to dance once in a while. So let's roll up our sleeves and sometimes trip over them to get to work together as one big goofy nation under the stars and stripes. Thank you, god bless y'all and gosh, let's get started.
Speaker 1:I'm right in between emotional and patriotic. Right now I'm just stuck in the middle. Goofy 2028. Goofy 2028. Cheers.
