Useless Superheroes With a Beer Mimosa

A villain whose superpower comes from cocaine. A character who fights by throwing dead dogs. A “hero” who exists mostly as an NFL marketing stunt. We start with a beer mimosa in hand and then stumble straight into the strange corner of comic book history where bad ideas somehow become canon. Along the way, we taste test a Disney California Adventure style beer mimosa, call out the price, and give you a simple beer mimosa recipe you can actually make at home with wheat beer, orange juice, and one optional upgrade that makes it way better.

After the toast, we chase a bigger question: what makes a superhero power useful? We rewind to old-school nostalgia with the Wonder Twins and how their powers often feel like a workaround instead of a win, then stack up a list of real comic book characters that sound like parody. From Snowflame to Arm Fall-Off Boy to Matter-Eater Lad, we dig into why these characters are hilarious, uncomfortable, and weirdly memorable, plus what they say about the eras that created them.

Then we do what comics do best: we invent new characters. Ours are intentionally useless, painfully specific, and built for laughs, like Captain Slight Breeze, The Negotiator, Lord Of Slightly Damp, Thermostat, Moisturizer, Spoiler, and Wi-Fight. If you love Marvel humor, comic book deep cuts, and the kind of creative riffing that turns everyday annoyances into “superpowers,” you’ll have plenty to steal for your own group chat. Subscribe, share with a friend who loves comics, and leave a review, then tell us the worst superhero idea you can come up with.

Transcript

Beer Mimosa Taste Test

SPEAKER_01 0:00

Today we're sipping on a beer mimosa while talking about some really bad ideas for Marvel characters. Welcome to Tears Dears. We're gonna click our drinks. We're gonna toast, we're gonna talk to get our tears to it. Okay, we're back. Hey there. And we have today's a beer this beer mimosa. Let's just talk about it really quick. It's gonna be really fast.

SPEAKER_00 0:34

Yes. Yes.

SPEAKER_01 0:38

At Disney's California Adventure. And it's beer mimosa wheat ale with minute vane orange juice. It's 1675, Aaron.

SPEAKER_00 0:47

So what we did, it was I bought a 22-ounce can of Widmere Hefeweizen, which is a really good wheat beer, but what does it have like about so we split that and it's probably got four or five ounces of orange juice in there? Now I wanted to try this. None of the drinks on there, there were a lot of new ingredients I would have had to go buy, and I wanted to keep it simple for this episode. And we needed to go with Pim's test kitchen or Pim's tasting lab. But I've done these before, the beer Moses or beer mimosas, where it was 50% beer, so Widmer, 50% orange juice, and a shot of vodka, and it tasted like a creamsickle. Those were really good. This it's pretty good. Yeah, it's good, it's fine. It's fine, but it's not worth$16.75. That is a complete ripoff.

SPEAKER_01 1:40

Yeah, well, the beer there, they have a they have a Topa Brewing Company, Chief Peak IPA, and it's$15.75 for just a beer. So I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 1:50

But it's less beer and orange juice, which is cheaper. But you mixology. Mixology. Right. Because you gotta pay the guy to stir them. Yeah. Or open have two things. So I would suggest if you're gonna make these, do one part beer, wheat beer, whichever one you prefer, one part orange juice, and I would say maybe four ounces, four ounces, and then a shot of vodka, and it's much, it's a much better drink.

SPEAKER_01 2:17

I want to try that. That sounds pretty good.

SPEAKER_00 2:18

Yeah. So we'll whip those up during the Army Navy game next year. We'll whip up some manmosas.

SPEAKER_01 2:25

Manmosas for the Army Navy games.

Useless Heroes And Wonder Twins

SPEAKER_00 2:26

And that's what my friend who introduced me to those called the manmosas. That's a great idea. So we went with Penn Test Kitchen. Because why? Because we're gonna go with some useless Marvel characters. We are so we created some and the inspiration from this for this episode. Now, going back when we were younger, and we used to watch the Super Friends.

SPEAKER_01 2:49

All those years ago.

SPEAKER_00 2:50

All those years ago, the Hall of Justice, and there were two in particular that were part of the Hall of Justice, the Wonder Twins. And they would everyone loves the Wonder Twins. The Wonder Twins are activate, and they'd have to bump fists, and it was a brother sister, and one would turn into I think she turned into an animal, whichever animal she wanted, and he turned into some form of water. Steam, ice, just liquid water, some form of water. And the problem was is that they never really activated their powers to save, defeat the bad guy. They only did it to get their own butts out of a jam. Right. Oh no, we've been captured, and then they'd barely be able to reach, and all of a sudden they'd be able to re wonder when powers activate. And then they'd be able to get out because he turned into an ice key and she turned into a giant gorilla that could break through the bars or something in their cage, or something goofy like that. Completely useless. Granted, they were DC, not Marvel, but useless superheroes.

SPEAKER_01 3:56

But yeah, and that that was a useless superhero, but we still talk about them today.

SPEAKER_00 4:00

We still talk about them.

SPEAKER_01 4:01

So they were great superheroes, really. If we're gonna still mention them now, they're not gonna be they're not gonna have their own movie or anything.

SPEAKER_00 4:07

Now, can you imagine if they came back the uh and in one of the movies with it'd be funny if like a DC character, but like a Deadpool type movie.

SPEAKER_01 4:17

Oh, he should bring them back to the city. And the one or twins just show up.

SPEAKER_00 4:21

Yeah, which one activating their superpowers, yeah, because some kind of comedy.

SPEAKER_01 4:26

But DC doesn't have any of that. DC's not funny enough. No, they don't have that, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 4:31

They don't just have to introduce some humor, but yeah, it just I don't know, it doesn't quite click. Yeah, okay. So anyway, you we of course we did this a little differently. I came up with a whole bunch of just useless characters, and you came up though with you did some research. I did.

Real Comics With Absurd Powers

SPEAKER_01 4:51

Tell us about this. So I came up with I came up with 10 characters that I made up, okay off the top of my head, and then 10 characters that are real comic book characters. I didn't put DC or Marvel, I just researched comic book characters. Yeah, so they could be from anywhere, they could be some offshoot brand. I don't even know where they're from. I didn't research that they're all even real. Uh-huh. I just looked at different websites and came out with my 10 favorite that I found because they're hilarious. Let's hear about these. And we'll see if I we'll see how close I get because I had to write a pen with some of them because my ink was going on my camera. Oh, okay. So we'll see. The first one's probably the best one, though. I'm saving the best for first. Okay. His name is Snowflame. Okay. Could you imagine what Snowflame might do? He's a super fillain whose powers literally come from cocaine. Making him more meme than menace.

SPEAKER_00 5:42

Okay, I was not expecting that.

SPEAKER_01 5:44

Me either. That's a funny one. Do you want to just go with one of your made up ones and I'll just go back and forth or just go all too?

SPEAKER_00 5:50

Let's read these false ones, and then I'll just pick ten of my favorites out of here.

SPEAKER_01 5:56

Oh, I have 10 made up ones too.

SPEAKER_00 5:57

Yeah, we'll do we'll let's just hear your actual ones.

SPEAKER_01 6:01

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 6:01

And then we'll just do 10 each of the made up ones. That sounds good. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 6:05

Yeah, these are ones I could have come up with, like, or I might have came up with this one if I was at a pinch, is arm fall-off boy. A hero who detaches her own limbs to use as weapons.

SPEAKER_00 6:16

Oh. Kind of a play on the I'm gonna tear your arm off and beat you to death with it. Yeah, beat you to lib to limb. I'm gonna tear my own arm off and beat you to death with it. Right.

SPEAKER_01 6:26

That's a funny one. The next one is NFL Super Pro. Okay. This is literally a commercial for football for the NFL. They had at one time. I don't know when this was, but it's an ex-football player turn hero in a total transparent marketing crossover for the NFL.

SPEAKER_00 6:43

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 6:44

He does nothing. He's just a football player that goes around and tackles people. Good or bad. Big Bertha. Big Bertha's a size-changing hero whose powers are tied to prob problematic weight gain. And then after weight gain, they purge. So they're totally bulimic.

SPEAKER_00 7:02

Okay. And they're a hero. Bulimia is a superpower, folks. That's a bad one. Tell your teenage girls in your life. That's a horrible one.

SPEAKER_01 7:11

Matter eater. Lad. Lad. Matter eater lad. Eater is eating stuff. Yes. So a hero that can literally eat anything, which is occasionally useful, but mostly played for laughs. Yeah. Like eat a eat a car engine.

SPEAKER_00 7:28

And then they can't get away. Right.

SPEAKER_01 7:29

They'll stop them from getting away if I eat their engine.

SPEAKER_00 7:31

I don't know. I wonder. Eat their gun. Does he have a strong enough jaw and beat them? I know nothing about these people. Wow. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 7:38

I didn't do any more research on there just the descriptions of what they had. There were whole paragraphs online about them that explained them more. I didn't read all and get all into it. But here's one. Here's a good one. You'll like cod piece. Okay. Cod piece is a villain with weapon with a weaponized cod piece. He uses a cod piece to intimidate people.

SPEAKER_00 7:58

That's it. That's a little scary. That has some a bass beat going when he come comes popping out. Right.

SPEAKER_01 8:07

It's horrible. It's a dirt diggler. Yeah. That's funny. This one I did a little more. I looked this what this was. There was a poem called The Walrus and the Carp by Lewis Carroll. Oh. And it's a really silly poem.

SPEAKER_00 8:22

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 8:23

That has like fish with feet, and it's a really weird poem. Strange. So this villain's called The Walrus. A villain inspired by the Wallace and the Walrus and the Carpenter who never rose above parody. So it's inspired on the entire Okay. It's just inspired by the by a pl by a parody of a poem.

SPEAKER_00 8:45

Of the poem.

SPEAKER_01 8:46

And they did a whole comic book on it.

SPEAKER_00 8:48

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 8:48

Very, very weird. No reason for that one. How about the dog wielder? The dog wielder. Okay. A deeply bizarre character with lit literally, he literally wields dead dogs to eat people. He throws dead dogs at people. Okay. Who comes up with these? People got paid. People took a cash paycheck and ate and paid their rent.

SPEAKER_00 9:13

I wonder if this is just coming up with throwing spaghetti at the wall, see what sticks.

SPEAKER_01 9:19

I think our bad ones are going to be better. I only have two more.

SPEAKER_00 9:29

Oh. A bear motif named Razorback. Yeah. Which is a hog. Don't know why. Bear motif. What state are the Razorbacks? Is that Arkansas? Arkansas, that's what I thought. Right. But yeah, it's like a pig. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 9:43

It's a bear motif. It just never gained traction. Okay. Okay. Okay. All right. And then hides my last one's hindsight lad. Another lad. Okay. Hindsight Lad is a non-powered hero, known mainly for being annoying and more moral morally questionable on the online world.

SPEAKER_00 10:05

Oh, okay. Morally questionable.

SPEAKER_01 10:07

He's an online villain.

SPEAKER_00 10:09

Hindsight. So Hindsight Lad. He know he knew he knows what to do, but after it's already happened and can't really change the outcome.

SPEAKER_01 10:17

So those are my ten real ones. And I think it's just going to get funnier from here because I think ours are going to I think mine are funnier than I came up with. Okay.

SPEAKER_00 10:25

Yeah, me too.

SPEAKER_01 10:26

Okay. Why don't you give us 10, your first 10 in any order?

SPEAKER_00 10:29

I think we'll go back and forth because I'm going to have to pick through out of my list here. So I'll start off. I have Captain Slight Breeze. He can generate a gentle win. About strong enough to move a napkin off of a table.

SPEAKER_01 10:43

That's good.

SPEAKER_00 10:43

Yeah, Captain Slight Breeze.

SPEAKER_01 10:44

Okay, that's kind of the same track I went with for the stone of mine. We have the same kind of ideas. Yeah. I have the negotiator. Okay. He's a hero who tries to talk the villains into being a little less evil. Okay. He's not trying to get them not to be villains anymore. He just wants it not to be as villainy.

SPEAKER_00 11:00

Yeah. Do you really need to kill the entire city? How about five? How about five? Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 11:05

Just kill it. Just one one floor. Do you really take apart that whole building? Just top few floors. Yeah. Just blow that up.

SPEAKER_00 11:13

Yeah.

unknown 11:14

Right.

SPEAKER_01 11:15

Take over the whole world. Like, what about just Europe for now?

SPEAKER_00 11:19

Yeah. Not the whole world. Maybe Southeast Asia. Right. Go for that first.

SPEAKER_01 11:22

Yeah, that could be.

SPEAKER_00 11:23

We'll see how it works.

SPEAKER_01 11:24

Right.

SPEAKER_00 11:24

Then we'll talk more. Yeah, we'll talk more. Will it willing to concede some ground to villainy. Okay, I get that. Okay. Let me see. My next one. I had another captain. Oh, Captain Almost. Captain Almost. He almost succeeds at everything. Almost succeeds. That's pretty good.

SPEAKER_01 11:44

Something like that. I don't have that one though. My next one is the blur. The blur. Yeah. Okay. He's like the flash.

SPEAKER_00 11:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 11:51

But he always falls down. Oh, okay. He runs, he runs like 200 yards and he trips over something all the time. He can't see everything when he's running fast. He gets almost oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 12:02

I had one, the beige blur. Oh, okay. He runs at an average speed, but he just insists that it's heroic. Beige. He's the beige.

SPEAKER_01 12:11

That was really fast, guys. Wow. Did you see me run that? He was like a three-year-old. Did you see how fast I just ran? I ran the mile. I run that mile in six minutes. Dude. Dude. I'm a superhero. 12 minutes. I walk fast walker guy. That's a good one. Speedwalker. He walks really fast everywhere.

SPEAKER_00 12:31

He'll get there, but it's every step has to come to a completely flat on the ground.

SPEAKER_01 12:37

Against the rules of his superheroes. Okay, which you have another one here? Well, that was mine was the beige blur.

SPEAKER_00 12:44

Okay, okay. I'll go ahead. And I read that one because you just had the blur. So I had another blur. My next one's the sidekick. Okay. That's all he is. He's just a sidekick.

SPEAKER_01 12:53

Yeah, never, no aspirations to ever becoming a hero.

SPEAKER_00 12:56

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_01 12:56

He's just a sidekick to anybody all the time. Yeah. Yeah. That works. Middle management of superhero.

SPEAKER_00 13:02

So mine, my next one, the human buffering wheel. He causes brief, unexplainable pauses in reality that are about two seconds long.

SPEAKER_01 13:11

That's funny.

SPEAKER_00 13:12

You just hold on, we're buffering.

SPEAKER_01 13:13

I had one just like it. Okay. I had a guy that freezes mid-action and then all of a sudden does everything at once. I would call him the bufferer. The buffer. That's funny.

SPEAKER_00 13:24

Okay, we're gonna have some of the same.

SPEAKER_01 13:27

He'll fight someone and just pause for a while. And then all of a sudden the whole his whole action he was gonna do finishes in two seconds at the very end.

SPEAKER_00 13:37

I just saw one that your turn again now. The Lord of Slightly Damp makes things mildly damp. Never wet, never dry, just uncomfortable. He stops evil by making just a little bit of discomfort. That's funny. I'm just damp. That's funny.

SPEAKER_01 13:52

I had the quantum shrug. Okay. He exists at every time frame, uh, but he doesn't care. He doesn't care. No, he just eh. You're the best superhero of all time. Whatever.

SPEAKER_00 14:03

That's cool. Whatever. Butterfingers. Butterfingers. Yes. This one's not too bad. He can make anyone drop what they're holding. He just that's his superpower. He can make you drop what you're holding. That's funny. Which, or he could just be a villain. You know all those kids who drop their ice cream cone? It's because Butterfingers was in the area. That's funny. Or they let go, they accidentally let go of their balloon at Disney. Right. At Disney Park. Yeah, that's Butterfingers. That's the work of the villainous Butterfingers. Okay, next one. My next one is the flashback.

SPEAKER_01 14:37

Okay. He's in the middle of a fight with somebody and he pauses just to reminisce on old times. Oh. Just randomly. Just remember. Wait a minute. Remember back? Oh, I gotta tell you about a time. Do this one time? Right.

SPEAKER_00 14:50

Nice.

SPEAKER_01 14:51

He just reminisces a lot.

SPEAKER_00 14:52

Yeah. So I have where did that one go? Dr. Delay. Okay. He pauses for dramatic effect. This is similar to what yours. He just he knows how to pause for dramatic effect. And then he goes, but continues the action. What's gonna happen? Like someone's taking a picture. Yeah. I like that one. What's happened? What's gonna happen? Right. It just he knows when to pause for dramatic effect to build the tension. And then the action continues. Yeah.

Even More Pointless Powers

SPEAKER_01 15:20

That's funny. That's funny. My next one is Mr. Mild Weather.

SPEAKER_00 15:24

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 15:24

So he can create any type of weather, but it can't be too harsh. Like he likes a mist.

SPEAKER_00 15:29

Well, he hangs out with Captain Slate Breeze.

SPEAKER_01 15:32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 15:32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 15:33

He can create a mist anywhere.

unknown 15:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 15:35

A slight rain. Just a slight rain.

SPEAKER_01 15:38

Like an overcast day.

SPEAKER_00 15:40

Like a slight breeze.

SPEAKER_01 15:41

The two of them, yeah. You know how some like a major weather guy, like his weather is he could put big sunlight on anyone, like causal rainstorm, tornadoes. Yeah. He can't do any of that.

SPEAKER_00 15:53

He might get you to take out your umbrella. Maybe.

SPEAKER_01 15:57

Maybe. You probably don't need it though. You probably just wear a light coat, rain-resistant coat.

SPEAKER_00 16:02

Weather that makes you think, eh, that'll pass in a few minutes.

SPEAKER_01 16:05

Yeah, just slight weather problems. Yeah. You can't cause earthquakes and stuff. Anything like that. Just like yeah, like an overcast day or like a small like on the river, you can cause a small wake.

SPEAKER_00 16:16

Oh, nice. My next one, the moisturizer. Okay. He's able to keep his skin and anyone he chooses, their skin perfectly moisturized at all times. So sponsored by Oil of Olay. Your skin's dried out, you're it's starting to crack. No. Then he just steps in. He comes out of nowhere. That's fine. And moisturizes your skin so that it's soft and supple.

SPEAKER_01 16:43

These are way better than the real ones. Yeah. These are useful. This is a really good one. Okay. This is a super villain called the spoiler. He tells you the end of the movie right away. He just stands up and yeah, his whole plan, everything he's gonna do.

SPEAKER_00 16:58

Just yells it out.

SPEAKER_01 16:59

Just yells it out right first two seconds of the comic book. Yeah. First page just tells the end.

SPEAKER_00 17:04

So my next one is named thermostat. He can change the temperature, but it by only one degree. Yeah. It's like is it 70 or 71 out? I don't know. 71 now.

SPEAKER_01 17:18

It's 71 now. Is he evil or good? Evil, he can say, I'll get you. It's now 71.

SPEAKER_00 17:25

I think I think he would be he would fall into the evil category.

SPEAKER_01 17:30

I'm turning you up to 71 degrees. I got you.

SPEAKER_00 17:34

I'm gonna drop you from 33 down to 32. Now your water will freeze in about six hours. All because of me.

SPEAKER_01 17:42

I did it. If it wasn't for the negotiator, I'd try to take over the world if we negotiated that deal.

SPEAKER_00 17:48

He comes in and helps to create black ice when it's 33. No, I'll make it 32 degrees. There'll be black ice in the morning.

SPEAKER_01 17:56

Yeah, he could be effective in some times when one degree does matter.

SPEAKER_00 18:00

When one degree matters.

SPEAKER_01 18:01

Call him in.

SPEAKER_00 18:01

When one degree matters, it's a tagline. You're drinking your ice cold water out of your Stanley Thermos. And oh, he's frozen in solid. It went from 33 to 32. Dang. Now I'm gonna be dehydrated.

SPEAKER_01 18:15

It's 99 degrees. I'm a steering glass on 100 degrees outside. Want to make a bet. Boo. 100.

SPEAKER_00 18:21

That's really I'm gonna cause your electricity bill go up 47 cents for the month because I made it one degree hotter.

SPEAKER_01 18:31

Month by month.

SPEAKER_00 18:33

Yeah, it all adds up.

SPEAKER_01 18:34

Your family history will go down.

SPEAKER_00 18:36

Okay, my next one. That's his catchphrase. Eventually it'll add up.

SPEAKER_01 18:41

Okay, that was a good one. We talked a long time on that one. My next one is Mr. Expired Warranty. Okay. So he shows up just too late to help every time.

SPEAKER_00 18:51

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 18:51

The fight's over. I'm here.

SPEAKER_00 18:53

I'm here. Let's go. We're done. The inconvenient torch. Okay. He bursts into flames randomly, but only on hot days. He's just a torch. Just a torch. Hot day. He works with uh in conjunction with the thermostat. Oh so he he might kick it up to two degrees hotter. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 19:16

Oh wow. So they if they team together three degrees.

SPEAKER_00 19:20

It's 94 cents.

SPEAKER_01 19:22

Could they get three degrees as a team?

SPEAKER_00 19:25

Could be. I think so.

SPEAKER_01 19:26

If they team up, they can change the world. This is my last one. Okay. Wi-Fight. Wi-Fight. Wi-Fight? Yeah. So his powers all depend on the Wi-Fi signal. Oh boy. I've only got one bar.

SPEAKER_00 19:39

That's like my buffering guy.

SPEAKER_01 19:41

The best way to get away from it is to go to the mountains.

SPEAKER_00 19:44

Yeah. You're safe in the mountains. We have no cell coverage. You've been defeated. Wi-Fi. You go to downtown Brooklyn, I'll get you. Yeah, exactly. Okay. Okay. Let me look and see what because I got a few, and we got a couple extra. Yeah, give us a few more. The human bookmark. Okay. Instantly remembers what page you're on in any book. Oh. Yeah. He's useful. Because if you bookmark falls out. Oh, I can't remember. Where did I leave this off? And you no, you don't have to look. You are on page 211.

SPEAKER_01 20:15

Wow.

SPEAKER_00 20:16

Citizen. And he, yeah, that's how he says it to you. You are on page 144, citizen.

SPEAKER_01 20:21

Citizen.

SPEAKER_00 20:21

Yes. Because that's all good superheroes refer to you as citizen. They do citizen. Right. Yes. As if that makes you equal to them. We're all citizens.

SPEAKER_01 20:32

Hello, citizen. Yes. I'm here to help you.

SPEAKER_00 20:34

And it's very, yeah. Madam mildly psychic predicts events that already happened a few minutes ago.

SPEAKER_01 20:42

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 20:42

Yeah. So okay, thanks. Yeah, that thank you.

SPEAKER_01 20:49

It's cool because she really sees them though.

SPEAKER_00 20:51

She's not there.

SPEAKER_01 20:52

She she's it's the actual power.

SPEAKER_00 20:54

She walks up, she comes running up. Right. The dam's about to burst.

SPEAKER_01 20:57

I'm drowning.

SPEAKER_00 20:59

As you're already drowning.

SPEAKER_01 21:00

Right. Because yeah, it's not like she's making them up. She's not telling she doesn't tell you stuff that just happened. She actually sees the stuff that just happened.

SPEAKER_00 21:07

And if she's far enough downriver, she would be useful. Okay. Because if the dam burst, but like a few minutes ago, but you're a couple mil miles downstream, you could help those people. Okay, I have a couple questions on this. Yeah. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 21:22

My questions are time zones? Do they matter? Can she like can she go Eastern time and get that? That's one thing. It might just be like where she's at, I think. The other thing is daylight savings time. Does she honor it? Or does she just not? And she could go an hour.

SPEAKER_00 21:38

Yeah, I don't think the whole time thing, it's not like she's following the clock, it's the event. It's the event, not the time. It's the event. It's not the actual chronological like the clock. Yeah. I don't think her superpowers are dependent on that.

SPEAKER_01 21:50

I haven't worked out my new superhero. I just came up with is Daylight Savings Boy. I don't know what he's gonna what he does yet, but that's a good one.

SPEAKER_00 21:57

Captain Leftovers. Okay. He can really. Reheat your food.

SPEAKER_01 22:01

Oh.

SPEAKER_00 22:01

Yes. But only till it's like lukewarm. Lukewarm. Yeah. Whereas, okay, I guess I I can eat that. Yeah. He's very helpful if you need to like you don't have a microwave. And you but you need to you're on the works job site.

SPEAKER_01 22:15

Right. Oh man. He could this guy could work. He could be a he could be a hero in then our next episode we're gonna record today.

SPEAKER_00 22:23

Oh, he could. Yes. He could be a major ride. He could. So slightly stronger. He's stronger than average. Okay. By about five, ten percent.

SPEAKER_01 22:32

Yeah, just a little bit stronger.

SPEAKER_00 22:34

A little bit stronger. Yeah. He which means some people he might win the fight.

SPEAKER_01 22:39

Yeah, your your team is funny because you have a guy that can run okay.

unknown 22:42

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 22:43

And a guy's kind of strong.

SPEAKER_00 22:44

Yeah, that was a major theme of he's okay. Invisible-ish woman. Okay. She's translucent. She doesn't go completely invisible, more translucent.

SPEAKER_01 22:54

Right.

SPEAKER_00 22:55

Which means she doesn't really sneak up on anyone.

SPEAKER_01 22:57

Right.

SPEAKER_00 22:58

And for it not to really go there, but she can't be wearing clothes. But since she's only translucent, you it's okay. I see this like frosted naked woman standing there. It's a little awkward. And I think that some people might be totally into that. She defeats people with some like awkwardness. Right. Of just show why is that woman there? Okay. I'm just gonna leave. That's how she makes evil leave. Because they just okay. This is a little weird. I'm just gonna leave. I'm just gonna leave.

SPEAKER_01 23:29

She could probably make them punch on OnlyFans.

SPEAKER_00 23:31

She probably could sound like a place for her. I think that's oh, oh, here's another one. Okay. Professor Static. He eliminates radio static and TV static.

SPEAKER_01 23:44

Oh.

SPEAKER_00 23:44

Yeah. So you have a nice clear one. Clear sound. Like if you're riding in the car, you know how you get to that point. So if you're driving north on I-5, there's a certain point where the Portland stations drop off and the Seattle stations pick up. Right. But there's a few miles there where everything is just really static y. Uh-huh. If he rides with you, there's no static. Oh. It is a clear cut. Portland's done. Now you're picking up the Seattle stations. You've had great radio the whole trip.

SPEAKER_01 24:15

Right. He's a take. This guy's a take on the 1960s superhero, famous superhero antenna placement guy.

SPEAKER_00 24:22

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 24:23

Who knew exactly where to put the antenna in the room where he got the best reception at all times?

SPEAKER_00 24:27

Yep. Exactly. Okay. I believe. Oh, okay. This is my last one.

SPEAKER_01 24:32

The last one. Here it is.

SPEAKER_00 24:33

The awkward teleporter. He can teleport randomly, but it's usually it's about three feet. Yeah. Which could help in a flat.

SPEAKER_01 24:43

It could have room to room too. Lock doors.

SPEAKER_00 24:45

Lock doors. That could help. But it's random. So if he doesn't know what three feet he's going to. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 24:51

Oh, so it could be just backwards three feet.

Drink Verdict And Listener Requests

SPEAKER_00 24:53

Like all of a sudden he could just slam into a wall or something like that. Like he he like if he's running towards a wall or door and it closes. He might teleport when he's four feet away to three feet away, and then he doesn't have time to stop. And just bam. So there we go. A whole bunch of backstory on weird superheroes that actually existed. And our better ones that are never existed. Better ones that never existed. Great IP here.

unknown 25:23

I know.

SPEAKER_01 25:24

And ones coming up, one we'll talk about next episode, I think.

SPEAKER_00 25:27

A fairly average drink, I would say. Middle of the road. It's fine. It's fine. There's nothing wrong with it. Nothing wrong with it.

SPEAKER_01 25:34

I can see where it'd be nice and refreshing on a nice summer day.

SPEAKER_00 25:37

Yes. So a nice little perk. We served it in the frosted pint glasses. But like I said, I would suggest about four ounces of beer, four ounces of orange juice, and a shot of vodka. And you've got yourself a good drink there. Right. So this was it was okay.

SPEAKER_01 25:56

Okay. Just all this is okay.

SPEAKER_00 25:58

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 25:58

So thanks for listening to our okay episode. Our okay episode. And if you thought it was also okay, leave a comment. Like us. Please like us. Please subscribe. Hit that little subscribe button. It only takes a second to hit that one button. And if you feel like you have more time, comment. Give us a cold comment.

SPEAKER_00 26:17

Yeah. And just the fan mail is turned on. You can send us a direct message.

SPEAKER_01 26:21

Right.

SPEAKER_00 26:22

Yeah. And we'll be able to respond.

SPEAKER_01 26:24

And if it's if it's a well thought out, great response is from me. If it's snarky and back at you, it's from Aaron.

SPEAKER_00 26:31

Yeah. Which Aaron, you'll never know. But until next week, cheers. Cheers.