Disney Midlife Crises With A Coconut Gimlet

A midlife crisis is already messy. Now give it to someone who has been animated, merchandised, and emotionally frozen in time for decades. We pour a coconut gimlet inspired by Disney’s Sci-Fi Dine-In Theater, give it an honest review, and then take a hard left into the question that matters: what would happen if iconic Disney characters finally cracked and reinvented themselves? 

We draft our own “where are they now” spirals with way too much confidence. Goofy escapes Disney middle management to open an ashram in Thailand built around enlightenment through imperfection. Elsa decides she’s done “letting it go,” moves to Miami, dates a much younger DJ, and speaks to the world through perfectly captioned Instagram posts. Daisy signs up for a Real Housewives style fame machine, tanks her image with sketchy endorsements, and lives for spa days and “Starbies,” while Donald responds by buying a convertible, blasting EDM, and insisting everyone call him “D-Duck.” 

It gets weirder in the best way. Dexter Riley quietly patents solar tech, experiments a little, and then vanishes into the South Pacific on a sailboat. Scar rebrands into a silk-robe podcaster blaming Mufasa for everything, complete with an “alpha mindset” and hyena entourage. Chip and Dale turn a weekly poker night into a full midlife pivot, Buzz Lightyear becomes a survivalist prepper who wins Survivor and buys drones, Genie discovers purpose as a self-help guru, and Judge Frollo lands in a brooding all-black art phase with a grand piano he cannot play. 

If you love Disney humor, Disney adults energy, character analysis through comedy, and a little cocktail talk, hit play. Subscribe, share the episode with a fellow Disney friend, and leave a review, then tell us which Disney character is most likely to have a midlife crisis next?

Transcript

Coconut Gimlet And Sci-Fi Dine-In

SPEAKER_01 0:00

Today we're talking Disney midlife crisis for Disney characters. Welcome to Tears to Years.

SPEAKER_02 0:05

We're gonna click our drinks. We're gonna toast our Disney and get our tears to it.

SPEAKER_00 0:24

Okay, we are back. Hello everyone. Having our cocktail.

SPEAKER_01 0:28

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 0:28

Mine's almost gone.

SPEAKER_01 0:29

We uh it is. We had it, we adjusted it a few times as well. We did, but it is a coconut gimlet, and it's found at Spa not Space 220. Sci-fi dynamic. Because Space 220 sounds so much better than sci-fi dyne to me to experience. So that's why I mentioned it.

SPEAKER_00 0:44

It was one of those. No. Okay. Before we get into the drink, it's a good place to go at least once. It is. But you never you don't need to go more than once. No, the food's not worth it.

SPEAKER_01 0:55

The ambiance isn't all it's cracked up to be.

SPEAKER_00 0:58

It's just it's kind of interesting because you're watching.

SPEAKER_01 1:01

That's a good term. Kind of interesting.

SPEAKER_00 1:03

Kind of interesting.

SPEAKER_01 1:03

That should be their slogan.

SPEAKER_00 1:04

It's worth going once, but yeah, I feel only once.

SPEAKER_01 1:09

Yeah, they should make shirts.

SPEAKER_00 1:10

It's not like the food is great.

SPEAKER_01 1:12

Come to sci-fi dine in. We're kinda interesting.

SPEAKER_00 1:15

Kind of interesting. And you only have to come once.

SPEAKER_01 1:17

So this is a this is a coconut gimlet from the sci-fi dine in, and it's made with Hendrix gin, coconut lime, and cardamom bitters, and it's $17.50.

SPEAKER_00 1:27

Okay. Disney average. Yeah, it's not bad. So we made it with two ounces of Bombay, not Bombay sapphire, Bombay gin, three quarters of an ounce of fresh lime juice, three quarters of an ounce of cream of coconut, two dashes of cardamom bitters, and garnish with a lime wheel.

SPEAKER_01 1:45

And it's just average.

SPEAKER_00 1:46

It's limey.

SPEAKER_01 1:47

It's average. Yes. There's nothing. As you'll see in our amazing episode next week, I really struggled with the worst drinks. I didn't. I actually those came well. I had a hard time. I listened to so many of our past episodes, the beginnings, just to try to find it. I think I listened to every episode last year. We'll talk about that next week.

SPEAKER_00 2:05

We'll talk about that next week. But this isn't great. I'm glad this is part of this year. Because next year, if it was part of next year's lineup of drinks, I wouldn't remember this one at all.

SPEAKER_01 2:16

This is a non- this is one not to remember.

SPEAKER_00 2:17

A forgettable. Yeah. It's kind of interesting. From the sci-fi dynamic. Kind of interesting.

SPEAKER_01 2:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 2:23

It's just it tastes a lot like lime.

SPEAKER_01 2:25

It's meh.

SPEAKER_00 2:26

It's yeah.

SPEAKER_01 2:27

It's just there. That's all I have to say about it, really. It's just a lime cocktail.

SPEAKER_00 2:32

Yeah, I think maybe cut back a little bit on the lime and maybe another dash of the bitters, the cardamom bitters.

SPEAKER_01 2:40

Okay. Yeah, I taste none of that.

SPEAKER_00 2:42

Yeah, I don't taste any of that.

SPEAKER_01 2:43

So we'll have to make another drink with that to actually know what cardamom bitters are all about. Yeah. Because I don't know what that is right now.

SPEAKER_00 2:48

We got a lot. That's the thing about the bottles of bitters. They last a while. Years.

SPEAKER_01 2:55

And if anything's gonna push you into a midlife crisis, it's a mat

Why Disney Characters Hit Midlife

SPEAKER_01 2:59

drink. It is. And so that's what we're talking about today is midlife crisis for we selected five Disney characters each.

SPEAKER_00 3:06

Yep.

SPEAKER_01 3:06

And just how their midlife crisis would work.

SPEAKER_00 3:10

What it would look like.

SPEAKER_01 3:11

And our opinion.

SPEAKER_00 3:12

Our opinion.

SPEAKER_01 3:15

Which you all love.

SPEAKER_00 3:16

Yeah. And as Disney adults, we might go through our midlife crisis, or being a Disney adult is the midlife crisis. I don't know. But hey, maybe maybe you will identify I've had a long ass Disney midlife crisis. It's been going on since I was like 12. Mine hit midlife, I guess. Yeah, yours did more than 44 when I we got hooked.

SPEAKER_01 3:38

It amped up, but that was all like we talked about before. It's all for accessibility of the parks, is a lot more. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 3:44

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 3:44

So anyway, start us off, Eric.

SPEAKER_00 3:46

So I

Goofy Reinvents Himself In Thailand

SPEAKER_00 3:47

started off with Goofy. Uh-huh. So with Goofy, after years of feeling stuck in Disney middle management. Okay. And I say Disney Middle Management because when you look back, he was the middle management guy in the 1950s when they did the their cartoons about him. And he was the average go-to-work dad. He wasn't goofy. He was just the goofy character playing a role. And interesting, I was thinking about this as well, that there is commentary that he it has been used in the Disney realm to drive social narratives as far as what is acceptable social narratives. So during COVID, he was the character that they used to go get vaccinated. But back in the 50s and 60s, he was the character who it was go to work, participate, be a good citizen, a lot of that type of stuff. So interesting.

SPEAKER_01 4:50

Goofy's co-star is a narrator.

SPEAKER_00 4:52

Yes. So, you know, after again, after years of feeling stuck in Disney middle management, he packs a backpack and moves to Thailand to open an ashram. Okay. The core tenets of this ashram include the path to enlightenment through imperfection, because he's an imperfect guy. Uh-huh. And but that is the path to enlightenment is through your imperfections. Embracing the journey of family through road trips to power line concerts.

SPEAKER_01 5:18

Oh, nice. The European tour.

SPEAKER_00 5:20

Spreading the wisdom of Gorsh.

SPEAKER_01 5:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 5:23

Yeah. And understanding the of life.

SPEAKER_01 5:26

That's good. I was thinking about how to do that, and that was very good. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 5:30

So that was Goofy going through his midlife crisis. He moved to Thailand. I don't know why he didn't move to India to start an Ashram. Because it's an Indian thing. But maybe it's it was just a little cheaper, better infrastructure in Thailand. You don't know. He didn't, he doesn't get into those details. Because it's a midlife crisis and it's just going and wanting to leave his mark on the world.

unknown 5:53

Nice.

SPEAKER_00 5:53

So yeah, there he goes. He's he opened an Ash Ram.

SPEAKER_01 5:56

That's hilarious.

SPEAKER_00 5:57

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 5:57

That's hilarious. My first one is Elsa.

SPEAKER_00 5:59

Elsa. Oh, what did Elsa do?

SPEAKER_01 6:01

In her midlife crisis, she decides she can no longer let it go. That's it. There's no more letting it go. Okay. That's over. Right? She moves to Miami and gets a luxury condo.

SPEAKER_00 6:12

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 6:12

And she dates a 24-year-old, 24-year-old DJ named Frostbite.

SPEAKER_00 6:16

Okay. Okay. Nice.

SPEAKER_01 6:18

And her communications are exclusively through Instagram posts.

SPEAKER_00 6:21

Oh.

SPEAKER_01 6:22

She communicates the world. She's a huge follow on Instagram.

SPEAKER_00 6:25

I could see that.

SPEAKER_01 6:26

A picture of herself.

SPEAKER_00 6:27

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 6:27

And the the a sample title was A Queen No Longer Apologizes for Her Snowstorms. Oh. Yeah. She's totally like that. She's like a diva. Total diva stage. Oh. Yeah. She hosts huge parties in Miami. Yeah, I could see that. Where the best it's the best drinks because they're all very much on the rocks. Yes. No, oh, everything's on the rocks. Properly chill. Yeah. Yeah. She can do like Christy ice.

SPEAKER_00 6:55

Oh.

SPEAKER_01 6:56

Fancy ice. Yeah. Cubes. She can do an old-fashioned block.

SPEAKER_00 7:00

I saw it's crazy. A Disney drink that was uh over shaved ice.

SPEAKER_01 7:06

Oh.

SPEAKER_00 7:06

And I can't remember, but I was trying to think of how we could make shaved ice.

SPEAKER_01 7:10

Christy?

SPEAKER_00 7:11

Christy. Shaved ice. Thank you, Christy. Thank you.

SPEAKER_01 7:13

You'll figure it out.

SPEAKER_00 7:14

Yeah. She'll figure it out. Don't worry about it.

SPEAKER_01 7:16

Yeah. And and she wears like her outfit. Yeah. All white like she usually does, but lots of like huge white sunglasses.

SPEAKER_00 7:22

Oh, yeah, like the slea stack. Yeah. Eyes.

SPEAKER_01 7:26

Yeah, that's her fit.

SPEAKER_00 7:27

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 7:27

That's Elsa fit. Total diva. Think with like Mariah Carey.

SPEAKER_00 7:31

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 7:31

Kind of thing.

SPEAKER_00 7:32

Oh. Vibe. Oh. Like fashion that's falling kind of far.

SPEAKER_01 7:36

And everything around her.

SPEAKER_00 7:37

Yeah. Oh, Mariah.

SPEAKER_01 7:39

Yeah, she's still a queen. Like Mariah Carey's still a great singer.

unknown 7:42

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 7:42

It's like her vocal skills are gone. She's just a diva.

SPEAKER_00 7:46

She's just a diva. Yep. It happens.

SPEAKER_01 7:48

Your next one.

Daisy Goes Reality TV Villain

SPEAKER_00 7:50

My next one is Daisy. There's some similarities here between Daisy and Elsa. Okay. A little bit different. So interesting. Daisy joins the cast of Real Housewives of Disney.

SPEAKER_01 8:02

Housewives of Disney. Yes. That's a great show.

SPEAKER_00 8:05

And she's the catty one that the audience hates. Oh. And I've never watched that, but I have a I think that's the way it goes, is they always make one out to be like a villain. Yeah. That's they did that with Disney. Daisy.

SPEAKER_01 8:18

She's a Johnny Fairplay.

SPEAKER_00 8:20

Yes. Little Survivor Guy. She's all of the Jersey Shore rope rolled into one.

SPEAKER_01 8:26

All the Jersey Shore. Yes. I can't remember their names.

SPEAKER_00 8:29

Paulie.

SPEAKER_01 8:30

Yeah, who are the girls' names? There was Nookie.

SPEAKER_00 8:32

Snookie. I think there was a Jen. Jenny. I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 8:36

It says a lot for us. It's good.

SPEAKER_00 8:37

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 8:38

It's a good thing we can't remember the name of it.

SPEAKER_00 8:39

Have you ever watched that show? I did watch.

SPEAKER_01 8:42

Unfortunately, I watched a lot of Jersey Shore because it was on and I work nights. Oh. And yeah. Can we edit that out?

SPEAKER_00 8:49

Nope.

SPEAKER_01 8:50

Damn it.

SPEAKER_00 8:51

So shortly after the show ends, she leaves Donald and marries her celebrity personal trainer. Midlife Crisis.

SPEAKER_01 8:57

Okay, yeah, that happens.

SPEAKER_00 8:59

She gets sucked into the plastic surgery craze. Oh. She gets a bill contour, a little more sleek, but she also gets filler.

SPEAKER_01 9:07

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 9:07

Yeah. So she's got big li bill at the end. Yeah, big bill. But it but it's more narrow. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 9:13

It's in but like it goes regular bill to Jennifer Coolidge.

SPEAKER_00 9:18

Yeah, duck lips. Yeah. She models it's just duck lips. But she also gets a tail feather lift and a swan neck lift. So, you know, that long, elegant. When you get to a certain age, and I don't know how old Daisy is, but things sag. As you get old, things sag. Men or women, things just sag. And she got a little lift. Yeah. Twist. A little twist. Twist up. So she spends her days getting spa treatments, followed by Starbies with the girls. Okay. Yeah. And she's one of those that refers to Starbucks as Starbees. Yeah. But that that's just her daily thing. But her image is tarnished through sketchy investments and endorsement deals. Oh. Yeah. She because she's still got to pay the bills. So, but when you lose the Disney image, it gets a little sketchy. Yeah. It just does. Miley Cyrus went through her not Disney phase. She's coming back around.

SPEAKER_01 10:14

She came around fast. Yeah. Like really fast.

SPEAKER_00 10:16

She cleaned things up. She did. But she did the hard break with Disney.

SPEAKER_01 10:19

And we all knew that was going to happen. And she was destined for it just because we go have a whole Miley Cyrus thing, but she got or we could not.

SPEAKER_00 10:27

We could though. I actually know nothing about her as a Disney personality.

SPEAKER_01 10:33

I have a daughter that's our Disney expert or Miley Cyrus expert. She can walk us through it.

SPEAKER_00 10:38

I wonder if Leah knows it. Leah, I don't know. If you're listening, tell us if you know anything about Miley Cyrus as a Disney personality, not post-Disney.

SPEAKER_01 10:48

Hannah Montana only.

SPEAKER_00 10:49

Yes. Is that all she did was Hannah Montana? I think so.

SPEAKER_01 10:53

I've spent I spent many a day with Hannah Montana.

SPEAKER_00 10:56

Watching with over and over with your daughter.

SPEAKER_01 10:59

Over and over.

SPEAKER_00 11:00

And over. Yeah. And over. Okay. And that's Daisy. Okay. Midlife crisis.

SPEAKER_01 11:06

That's a good one.

SPEAKER_00 11:07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 11:07

So I'm going to follow it up with Donald.

unknown 11:09

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 11:11

There we go. Because if she left him.

SPEAKER_01 11:14

But he doesn't that doesn't really spark his midlife crisis, Daisy leaving him. Oh, okay. It's more that he realizes that he's been wearing the same sailor suit for 90 years.

SPEAKER_00 11:24

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 11:24

And it hits him.

SPEAKER_00 11:25

Time for a change.

SPEAKER_01 11:26

He gets mad pretty easy, we all know.

SPEAKER_00 11:28

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 11:28

So this is one of the things that he just snaps. And everything changes.

SPEAKER_00 11:32

And everything changes.

SPEAKER_01 11:33

He buys a convertible and blasts EDM music all day long.

SPEAKER_00 11:37

EDM? It's the dance music. Okay. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 11:41

That's all he plays. Rolling around town.

SPEAKER_00 11:43

In his convertible. Now I see Donald as a as a Plymouth prowler, the retro new Thunderbird.

SPEAKER_01 11:54

It's a nice new sports car, is what he does, a little thing.

SPEAKER_00 11:57

See, I see him as the midlife crisis, maybe a Chrysler convertible. Yeah. Yeah. I just that's what I see with Donald. I might I might be wrong. I could be wrong. That's just what I see.

SPEAKER_01 12:10

Yeah. So he and we all know what I think about little convertibles that no one should ever buy them. Sort of like anyway. That was a person, that was an inside joke. Anyway, he calls himself, he changed his name to everybody else, but no one ever calls him that except for him to D-Duck.

SPEAKER_00 12:25

D Duck. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 12:26

He wants everyone to call him D-Duck, but no one ever really calls him that and they snicker at him behind his back.

SPEAKER_00 12:30

Maybe if they can go on a Dduction.

SPEAKER_01 12:33

Oh but he uses all his realty money from his past uh past pay. I mean he's he's filthy rich.

SPEAKER_00 12:41

They all are.

SPEAKER_01 12:42

He gets into his Scrooge McDuck phase.

SPEAKER_00 12:44

Yeah, they all have some extra money to carry him through.

SPEAKER_01 12:48

But he doesn't Scrooge McDuck at all. He spends it.

SPEAKER_00 12:50

Spends it.

SPEAKER_01 12:51

Spends it. We're talking twelve thousand dollar espresso machines, stuff like that throughout the house.

SPEAKER_00 12:56

Makes sense.

SPEAKER_01 12:57

Like a thousand dollar couch.

SPEAKER_00 12:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 12:59

Makes everything. Just he just spends money. Makes it flows through it. Because Daisy ain't getting no alimony.

SPEAKER_00 13:05

Yeah. I could see him with one of those middle-age with a thumb ring.

SPEAKER_01 13:09

Oh, he probably has a thumb ring.

SPEAKER_00 13:11

And a pinky ring.

SPEAKER_01 13:12

That's engraved.

SPEAKER_00 13:13

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 13:14

Little little skull on thumb ring.

SPEAKER_00 13:16

Yeah. I could I totally see that in his midlife crisis.

SPEAKER_01 13:21

Uh Donald Duck American Chopper.

SPEAKER_00 13:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 13:24

One made after him.

SPEAKER_00 13:25

I could see that as an episode. Yeah. With what were their names?

SPEAKER_01 13:29

It was Orange County Choppers.

SPEAKER_00 13:31

We're really gonna Polly Paul. And then there was the dad. Yeah. Yeah. Pauly was the dad. That was a disturbing show. Anyway.

SPEAKER_01 13:39

So anyway, that's his little yeah, he just spends money like crazy.

SPEAKER_00 13:42

Yeah. And does that kind of vibe. Okay. Is it? That's Donald. Okay.

Dexter Riley Quits And Vanishes

SPEAKER_00 13:47

My next one, Dexter Riley.

SPEAKER_01 13:49

Yeah, this is always always with the Dexter Riley.

SPEAKER_00 13:52

Because I gotta, yeah, I do.

SPEAKER_01 13:53

I gotta everyone at home is Googling once again. Who Dexter Riley?

SPEAKER_00 13:58

Dexter Riley. So Kurt Russell character from three movies, Computer War Tennis Shoes, most powerful or the strongest man in the world. And now you see me, now you don't. Or now you see him, now you don't. Something like that. Anyway, takes place on Medfield College. So he becomes a tenured professor at the now defunct Medford College. And while the wins aren't as great as when he was a student, they're still coming. He's still got his wins. He discovered, and you know, he doesn't go through a huge midlife crisis, it's just some minor adjustments, but he discovers new solar panel technology that increases energy output by 22%. So royalties from the patent supplement is income after the college closure. So he just decides he's he steps back. That's his his midlife. It's just he steps back. It's I'm not gonna teach, I'm done with the college scene. It's just done. So he starts, he does a little experimentation with some LSD and DMT, you know, because the college 60s. It just yeah, that's just the way it happens. But eventually he buys a sailboat to go to the South Pacific and is never heard from again. Oh, never heard from. Yeah, he leaves the rat race because he thinks there's no rats at sea. Yeah. But yeah, it and that doesn't mean he died at sea or anything like that. He's just never heard from again. He just disappears on the ship. He's got his debit card, the royalties are hitting his account. So he's but you just don't know. He just disappeared.

SPEAKER_01 15:30

This is a little sidebar a little bit because now we know that we know how many people listen to our show is the getting way up there.

SPEAKER_00 15:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 15:37

And we know so we know that they're listening. So I have a question for a couple of our probably biggest fans. It's Goldie Hahn and Kate Hudson, right? They're probably probably most likely listening right now.

SPEAKER_00 15:46

Probably, yes. Probably, yes.

SPEAKER_01 15:48

I wonder if they know who Dexter Riley is.

SPEAKER_00 15:51

If I ever run into them, I'm gonna ask. I'm gonna say, Hey, say hi to Dexter for me.

SPEAKER_01 15:57

Yeah, who's that?

SPEAKER_00 15:58

And they'll be if they're in the know, they'll immediately go, I will. And if they have no idea, they'll just look at me like and call security.

SPEAKER_01 16:07

Security, oh man, get rid of this guy. He comes up more than anybody else.

SPEAKER_00 16:12

Because the light just needs to shine. It's hilarious.

SPEAKER_01 16:15

Yes, I just start mentioning Tim Conway and Don Knott's more.

SPEAKER_00 16:18

Probably. I didn't add that in. I almost added those characters, but I was like, but they're from the 1800s. You didn't have time for a midlife crisis. There was no midlife crisis until the 60s. Probably not. Yeah, okay. Your next character.

SPEAKER_01 16:33

My next is Scar.

SPEAKER_00 16:34

Scar, midlife crisis.

SPEAKER_01 16:36

Midlife crisis for scar.

SPEAKER_00 16:37

Okay. That's a good one. Didn't he die? Not in my story. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 16:42

They all live on, so we can make jokes.

SPEAKER_00 16:44

Okay. Come on. Good point. Come on.

SPEAKER_01 16:47

We can't do this. We don't have if they're all if they're all dead.

SPEAKER_00 16:54

Yeah, that's a good point. He gets a divorce, right?

SPEAKER_01 16:57

Scar is a divorce. He's married for years.

SPEAKER_00 16:59

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 17:00

Years.

SPEAKER_00 17:00

I could see that.

SPEAKER_01 17:01

It's a divorce and it breaks him. Divorce just breaks him. He was totally, he changed a little bit during the divorce. He changed into a regular normal lion.

SPEAKER_00 17:09

Did he just did it just kind of soften him?

SPEAKER_01 17:11

It kind of softened him. He's in love.

SPEAKER_00 17:13

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 17:14

He was doing the couples thing.

SPEAKER_00 17:15

That was his support, his support system.

SPEAKER_01 17:18

Yeah, he was he felt loved for the first time.

SPEAKER_00 17:20

Yes. Well, you know, I feel bad now.

SPEAKER_01 17:22

And then it was a divorce, but we let's not go into the details of the way and why. It just happened and it broke him.

SPEAKER_00 17:28

And Scar, if you're listening, hey, we're sorry, man. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 17:32

If you want to call in sometime, yeah. We can talk through it.

SPEAKER_00 17:35

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 17:35

And get you the right help you need.

SPEAKER_00 17:37

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 17:38

But he starts a podcast and he breaks and he just flips back in the old scar.

SPEAKER_00 17:42

Oh.

SPEAKER_01 17:43

And he breaks. It's called The True Story of Pride Rock. And it's 100% blaming Mufasa for everything that ever happened in the world.

SPEAKER_00 17:50

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_01 17:51

And how we are now, our economy, right?

SPEAKER_00 17:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 17:54

Everything that's happening now.

SPEAKER_00 17:55

It's all before.

SPEAKER_01 17:57

In the past, in the future. All Mufasa's fault.

SPEAKER_00 18:00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 18:01

But he goes to always wearing silk robes.

SPEAKER_00 18:03

Now that I could totally believe. I could see him before he snapped. He didn't do that before, though.

SPEAKER_01 18:09

This is what he would have been if he didn't meet this lovely woman. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 18:14

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_01 18:14

But always around him. He's old now, right? Always around him with a young lioness everywhere.

SPEAKER_00 18:20

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 18:20

Everywhere in his silk robe.

SPEAKER_00 18:22

Uh-huh. You know what I'm going with this? Pulling the hue hefty. Yeah, a little bit. He goes full hue on him.

SPEAKER_01 18:28

Yeah. He always wears silk robes and he he talks about his alpha male mindset. That's his whole thing.

SPEAKER_00 18:35

Oh. Is he one of those red pillar guys? Yeah, he's one of those guys. Oh. Yeah. Yeah. You know, a hard divorce will do that too.

SPEAKER_01 18:42

He's always talking about the alpha male mindset all the time. And he always has this group of hyenas around him. Who knows where he came from or how he finances them. But they're like a like his posse.

SPEAKER_00 18:53

His posse. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 18:54

All wearing dark sunglasses. Very serious looking. I ran him all the time.

SPEAKER_00 18:58

Yeah. Yeah. You gotta have your crowd.

SPEAKER_01 19:00

That's what Scar does.

SPEAKER_00 19:01

That's what happened to Scar. Yep. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 19:03

Silk robes, young lionesses.

SPEAKER_00 19:06

Lionesses. Oddly enough, in that same vein, okay. My

Chip And Dale Go Off Script

SPEAKER_00 19:11

next ones are Chip and Dale.

SPEAKER_02 19:13

What?

SPEAKER_00 19:14

Yet they followed the path of Scar. So of course, Chip and Dale, they were my remain lifelong bachelors and start a weekly poker game with Pluto and Donald after they all make peace. And it's really the highlight of their week. There's a lot more going on, but they it's that their one grounded moment of just Pluto, because they tormented Pluto when he was when they were all younger. Same way Donald. They did not like each other. Now it's cigars, scotch, and poker one night a week.

SPEAKER_01 19:44

If it looks like it's like on a Wednesday or Thursday night.

SPEAKER_00 19:47

Oh, yeah. Oh, definitely middle. No.

SPEAKER_01 19:49

Yeah, because they're like they got they're money people.

SPEAKER_00 19:51

They got stuff to do on the weekends.

SPEAKER_01 19:53

It's a weeknight thing.

SPEAKER_00 19:55

So, okay, here's where it goes a little dark. Okay, here we go.

SPEAKER_01 19:58

You had to go dark somewhere. I thought you were gonna go Dexter Riley Dark.

SPEAKER_00 20:01

No. So they opened a small chain of adult bookstores and gentlemen's club in the valley.

SPEAKER_01 20:06

Okay. You know, like adult books like Grapes of Wrath.

SPEAKER_00 20:10

Yeah. Yeah, those type of adult books. I got it. Warren Peace.

SPEAKER_01 20:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 20:15

I get it. And so it's the supplement because their royalties just aren't as good as some of the others. You know, it's true. They do have royalties coming in from Disney, but not as much. So that's that was their investment. Drive some income. Not a and it's not a huge income, but it's enough to be comfortable for the lifestyle that they want. They both purchase slightly hooped-y versions of high-end exotic cars as a means to impress. Okay. So they're driving the Lamborghini, but they're driving the older Lamborghini that nobody really wants. So they were able to get it cheap, but it's all about that badge.

SPEAKER_01 20:55

I feel like they're compensating from a small rope roller coaster or something.

SPEAKER_00 20:59

Yes. Yes.

SPEAKER_01 21:00

Something like that.

SPEAKER_00 21:01

Probably. And they followed the Leonardo path and refuse to date anyone over 30.

SPEAKER_01 21:06

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 21:06

It would be over 25, but they don't have that kind of income. They gotta raise it up. They don't have Leonardo DiCaprio money.

SPEAKER_01 21:13

They're not scarred up there. No. No.

SPEAKER_00 21:16

They gotta it's 30. It's not 25. And they might not be all tens. Okay. They might, some of them might be a six and a half. Okay. But that's just but that's what happens with Chip and Dale. That's you know, they hit midlife and they're like, okay, we we can't keep doing the hijinks and slapstick of Disney anymore.

SPEAKER_01 21:39

I really like your take on Chip and Dale. We gotta just change a good one.

SPEAKER_00 21:43

We gotta change it up. Okay. So that's what happened with Chip and Dale with their midlife

Buzz Turns Prepper Conspiracy Guy

SPEAKER_00 21:47

crisis.

SPEAKER_01 21:47

Mine that's what is Buzz Lightyear.

SPEAKER_00 21:49

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 21:50

Buzz Lightyear knows he finally he finds out he's not a space ranger, right?

SPEAKER_00 21:54

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 21:54

He knows this now.

SPEAKER_00 21:55

He finally finally he admits it to himself. It dawns on him. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 21:59

So he becomes a Total survivalist.

SPEAKER_00 22:01

Oh.

SPEAKER_01 22:02

After this.

SPEAKER_00 22:02

Like a prepper?

SPEAKER_01 22:04

Yeah, like that. Okay. He buys a telescope. Oh. And believes in a secret alien force controlling the world named the system. And he looks for them every day. Coming looking for their attack. He's constantly in the sky at night looking for the system to attack the earth.

SPEAKER_00 22:20

I wonder if what kind of aliens that they are. The reptilians? Or the grays? So I just saw the report that somebody said that there are four types.

SPEAKER_01 22:29

Oh, there are there are.

SPEAKER_00 22:30

The reptilians. And this is the government just released this information. Or somebody within the government. Yeah. But the reptilians, the insectoids, the grays, which are your typical big eyes, no hair. And then the Nordics.

SPEAKER_01 22:47

The Nordics? Yes. This is a new group of aliens.

SPEAKER_00 22:50

Yeah, that was my thing. Like looking aliens? I think just tall, blonde, elfish-looking, elvish-looking aliens. Huh. Yeah, they might be. I think they're the friendly ones. Oh, the friendly ones. Yes. The reptilians aren't. Insectoids can't be friendly aliens. Absolutely not.

SPEAKER_01 23:10

This is interesting. I haven't heard this.

SPEAKER_00 23:12

And the grays, I think the grays are neutral. They just want to study people, abduct them, study them, and return them with mental damage. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 23:23

Okay, so anyway, Buzz.

SPEAKER_00 23:24

Buzz, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 23:27

Okay. That's it. Right? Kind of NASA style.

SPEAKER_00 23:30

I wonder if he makes his own.

SPEAKER_01 23:32

His own dehydrated foods? Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 23:34

A freeze dryer? He could. Yeah. If you're serious about survivalist stuff, you have your own freeze dryer. I just think so.

SPEAKER_01 23:41

We'll get to this in a second. He tells everyone he meets he could totally survive off the grid.

SPEAKER_00 23:46

Right.

SPEAKER_01 23:47

Yet he has a hard time putting together his new IKEA couch.

SPEAKER_00 23:50

Maybe if he just made one after felling his own trees. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 23:54

He uses all of his knowledge of defeating Zerg and what he's learned from his time in Andy's bedroom. And he wins season 51 of Survivor.

SPEAKER_00 24:02

Oh, hey, there's a prize come that comes with that.

SPEAKER_01 24:06

So he gets some prize money from that. And he spends it all on drones to protect his perimeter. All survivor money goes straight into drones.

SPEAKER_00 24:15

He's got to be living somewhere up in the mountains.

SPEAKER_01 24:18

Northern Idaho-ish.

SPEAKER_00 24:20

Northern Idaho, Montana, but a big parcel of land with some parcel. Grow some crops and like a Dakota thing. Some streams running through it so he can catch fish, whatnot. Yeah, I could see all that.

SPEAKER_01 24:33

Yes. And for the record, we love all these states we're talking about.

SPEAKER_00 24:36

Oh yeah. Oh, definitely. So this is my buzz. That's your buzz.

SPEAKER_01 24:40

Yeah, survivalist.

Genie Becomes A Self-Help Brand

SPEAKER_00 24:42

Okay. My last character, Jeannie. So he decides normal life isn't for him, and it leaves him wanting more.

SPEAKER_01 24:49

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 24:50

He spent eons stuck in the lamp, serving a master. Then he's set free, and he thinks this is the greatest. He's always wanted to be set free. And then just realized, yeah, this isn't what I thought it would be. So he takes up extreme sports and triath triathlons.

SPEAKER_01 25:06

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 25:07

And it's like golf and yoga. He just all kinds of sports. And then he's gets hobby obsessed. Oh, okay. Like one hobby after another. I'll try this. I'll try this. That sounds right. He does pottery and other art classes, like glass blowing and the leaded stained glass, church windows type stuff. Just anything he can do. Fishing. He takes up fishing, tying his own flies. Wow. Gardening. But none of that. And I'm just scratching the surface. He tried everything. None of it filled the hole of serving.

SPEAKER_01 25:43

Tell us he finds it, Aaron.

SPEAKER_00 25:45

He does. Oh god. He f and that's all of doing all of that selfish stuff, trying to find his happiness. He realized his happiness was just helping others.

SPEAKER_01 25:54

Oh, okay. Wow. So this is a good one.

SPEAKER_00 25:56

Yeah, he finds his passion by helping others and becomes a self-help guru. Okay. And he writes books. Oh. Yeah. So leaving the lamp behind. So it's about leaving the past behind. Moving on. Moving on and finding finding what works for you. Yeah. Another book, make making your wishes become a reality.

SPEAKER_01 26:17

Oh.

SPEAKER_00 26:18

Yeah. He was in the wish making business. He knew that. He knew that. And so he, but he knows, as we saw with Aladdin, he tried to get him to make what he wished for, how to get it done himself without the wishes.

SPEAKER_01 26:30

All those years of ground zero of wish making. Yes. Really? And then this is some insight.

SPEAKER_00 26:35

His latest book, The Prince Illusion.

SPEAKER_01 26:37

Okay. Yeah. What's this one about?

SPEAKER_00 26:38

And it's about creating that false sense of who you are to get what you want. It's that illusion of no, you're not a prince. You're a street rat who steals bread to feed you and your monkey. That's okay. It's okay to just drop the prince illusion. And thousands, hundreds of thousands have been helped.

SPEAKER_01 26:58

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_00 26:58

Tony Robbins times 10.

SPEAKER_01 27:00

UB U.

SPEAKER_00 27:01

Yeah. So great midlife crisis of him just trying to discover who he was and what his passion was, and it was just helping others. Yeah. That's good. That's okay. That's great. So your last

Frollo Goes Beatnik On Instagram

SPEAKER_00 27:13

one.

SPEAKER_01 27:13

My last one, I went obscure. Okay. All right. I dug deep. Personally, I don't really know who he was too much. I've seen this movie in years, but it's from Hunchback in Notre Dame.

SPEAKER_00 27:23

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 27:23

And it's Judge Frollo.

SPEAKER_00 27:25

Oh.

SPEAKER_01 27:26

Here he is.

SPEAKER_00 27:27

Ooh. He looks angry.

SPEAKER_01 27:28

Here he is. That's Judge Frollo. Everyone. Judge Frollow. Very display. Because no one will know what that is when I'm talking. Everyone else has been on like a major character that everyone's heard of. Yes. Except for Dex O'Reilly. So I had to come up with Judge Frollo from watching a little bit of his clips and what his midlife crisis would be, right?

SPEAKER_00 27:46

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 27:47

He doesn't believe in a midlife life crisis. Because he's way too smart for that.

SPEAKER_00 27:51

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 27:52

Couldn't happen to him.

SPEAKER_00 27:53

No.

SPEAKER_01 27:53

Then he quickly goes right into a midlife crisis after he says that. He shows up to the office the next day after proclaiming no such thing as a midlife crisis, wearing all an all-black turtleneck, circular sunglasses, and a new cologne called Midnight Cathedral.

SPEAKER_00 28:10

Okay. He has an Andy Warhol look. Kind of Andy Warhol. Yeah, like a beatnik kind of deal. Definite beat nick.

SPEAKER_01 28:16

He starts posting black and white photos on Instagram all the time.

SPEAKER_00 28:19

Gets a little artsy.

SPEAKER_01 28:20

With captions.

SPEAKER_00 28:21

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 28:22

With captions that say here's an example of a caption. People fear men who think deeply. And just this picture of him, like stoic pictures of him. Like with his one foot on a rock. Yeah. The pipe. A little pompous. Yeah. Little self-effective. He might even have one of those artist hats. What are those called?

SPEAKER_00 28:39

Oh.

SPEAKER_01 28:39

I don't know what those are called.

SPEAKER_00 28:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 28:41

He might have one of those.

SPEAKER_00 28:42

I'm not sure.

SPEAKER_01 28:43

There could be a feather involved in something. I don't know. I'm just spitballing here.

SPEAKER_00 28:46

But definitely a unique look if he's the artist type. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 28:50

He has a he buys a brand new grand piano.

SPEAKER_00 28:53

Oh. But does he play?

SPEAKER_01 28:54

Doesn't know how to play.

SPEAKER_00 28:55

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 28:55

He walks by confidently, right? Especially it really hits while it's pouring down rain outside. Hits one key really hard. Yeah. And looks around, stirs around and walks away. That's how he plays the piano. Yeah. And he loves it. He thinks people adore his piano skills.

SPEAKER_00 29:12

Yeah, that's very self-important.

SPEAKER_01 29:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 29:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 29:14

And his favorite thing, his favorite new thing is an oat milk latte with cinnamon.

SPEAKER_00 29:19

Okay. That's it. It's a little pleasures, I guess.

Oat Milk Latte And Final Toast

SPEAKER_01 29:22

So if you love a good oat milk latte with cinnamon, or especially even if you don't like an oat milk latte with cinnamon, you should like our podcast.

SPEAKER_00 29:31

Like, follow, subscribe, do all those things. Send us a message. We'd really appreciate that. But until next week, cheers. Cheers.