Cheers 2 Ears Guide To Bad Parenting Disney Style With An Orange Bourbon Punch

The fastest way to ruin a Disney day is to treat it like a test of endurance and then act shocked when your kids melt down. We start by mixing a surprisingly well balanced Orange Bourbon Punch inspired by the Palm Breeze Bar at the Disneyland Hotel, then we pivot into a “Cheers To Ears Guide to Bad Parenting at Disney” that is funny because it is painfully familiar. 

We talk through the classic traps: keeping toddlers in the parks from rope drop to ride stop, skipping naps, demanding perfect behavior in lines, and running the day like a micromanaged schedule where the adults chase rides while kids just want to watch ducks, try on hats, or play in the “free stuff.” We also get into the post fireworks scramble, bus and tram bottlenecks, and the way adults model patience or panic when everyone is trying to leave at once. 

Then we hit the hot button topics we see constantly at Disneyland and Disney World: forcing teens to stay glued to the family with zero freedom, oversized strollers packed with gear, hydration fails that turn into headaches, and the endless “one more ride” promise. We also draw a hard line on height requirement cheating, from platform shoes to stuffing napkins, because it is not just a rules thing, it is a safety thing. 

If you love Disney travel planning and want real world Disney parenting tips delivered with humor, this one is for you. Subscribe, share the episode with your favorite park friend, and leave a review so more people can find the show.

Transcript

Cocktail Build And Bar Talk

SPEAKER_00 0:00

On this episode, we are skipping on an orange bourbon punch from the Palm Breeze Bar and telling you all about some horrible parenting decisions at the Disney parks. Welcome to Tears to Years.

SPEAKER_04 0:16

Old Fashioned Manhattan. We'll talk about that too. From future land to the wild frontier.

SPEAKER_01 0:31

Okay, we're back. This drink.

SPEAKER_00 0:33

This drink, the Orange Bourbon Punch. I like this.

SPEAKER_01 0:36

It's good. That's a great name. I completely just kind of winged it with the mix. Just the last couple of drinks I've done that.

SPEAKER_00 0:44

You get used to how a Disney pour. Yeah. I think we I think we're pretty close to all these too. And it's made at the Palm Breeze Bar at the Disneyland Hotel with Angels Envy bourbon, lemon, simple syrup, and strong brew orange tea, and it costs 20. That's Disney expensive. That's not Disney cheap at all.

SPEAKER_01 1:02

That's like a Geo82 price.

SPEAKER_00 1:04

And you can tell why our bar bill was so high when we went to Disneyland. Because we kind of partied at the Palm Beach Bar. Oh, did you? It's Christy's favorite joint. Christy. Yeah, the pool. From sitting by the pool there, they have great pool chairs. It's not a busy pool compared to the Disneyland Hotel Pool right next door. Yeah. It steps away. But it's a little tight, it's an outdoor bar area. Yeah. Good food and snacks. Right outside the DVC tower. Tower. Oh. The place is great. We both fell in love with it. It's one of my favorite. It might be my favorite hangout spot in a Disney hotel. Okay. I'm getting close. The Coronado Springs bar is pretty cool too. That's fun. Coronado?

SPEAKER_01 1:46

The one in the lobby, in the main lobby?

SPEAKER_00 1:47

No, the one by the pool. The pool bar.

SPEAKER_01 1:50

That one, the pool bar. Okay. Okay.

SPEAKER_00 1:51

That one's fun too.

SPEAKER_01 1:53

I didn't okay. I mean, that makes sense that they have a pool bar over there, but I didn't go into the pool, so I didn't see that.

SPEAKER_00 1:59

Right. I sat there and talked to Christy one night when we were there. Yeah. And then we me and Eli went swimming one time. Eli and I went swimming and I hung out with them. Yeah. When they stayed.

SPEAKER_01 2:07

Which if I'd realized that you were, I thought you were just right outside the door talking to her. I didn't realize you were gone.

SPEAKER_00 2:13

I started that way.

SPEAKER_01 2:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 2:14

And then we kept talking. You were getting ready to go to bed.

SPEAKER_01 2:17

Well, I would have gone and just hung out by the pool. Yeah, so I had to go get a drink by the pool. Yeah, used by the pool. So I was like, okay, I'm that's what Disney does. Yeah, it just takes you places. The magic makes you flow. So this drink, we did two ounces of gym bean bourbon, a half ounce of simple syrup, a half ounce of lemon juice, and then a couple ounces of the blood orange tea. I mean, I did a pre-made orange blood orange tea with hibiscus. So it's I guess it's got a little bit of non-ingredient list there, but it mostly it was blood orange tea, is what the can said.

SPEAKER_00 2:56

I'm just thinking, I was just sitting here thinking how much I like this drink. It's very bourbon forward. I think that's what I like in a drink.

SPEAKER_02 3:02

The alcohol forward.

SPEAKER_00 3:04

Yeah. I think I like to taste all the flavors, and when it drowns out the liquor completely, even though it's a good, like punch kind of drink, this is not my favorite. I love this drink.

SPEAKER_01 3:15

This softens the bourbon, though, a lot.

SPEAKER_00 3:18

But the lemon and the tea together.

SPEAKER_01 3:20

Yes, and the you know, a little bit of that sweetness from the simple syrup. Right. It softens it. So it's not like you're drinking straight bourbon. So it's bourbon forward, but it's it's like that bourbon taste, but not that bourbon bourbon. Yeah, I'm a really big fan of this syrup. This is a good one.

SPEAKER_00 3:35

I like it more and more every time I think because it has what, two, four, five ingredients. Four. One, two, lemon, simple syrup, and tea. Bourbon, lemon, simple syrup, tea. Yeah, four. Four. Four ingredients has four ingredients and they all matter.

SPEAKER_01 3:49

And they all matter. That was my point.

SPEAKER_00 3:51

Is they all every ingredient is part of the drink. Yeah. You take one away, it's not the same drink. No, it isn't. You add hibiscus, and it might be a better drink. It might it might have been. Every ingredient matters. You can't just like, oh, let's skip the lemon and it's still a pretty good drink. No. It wouldn't be the same. This drink has every flavor as to how good it is. And I think that's where I'm going with this.

SPEAKER_01 4:11

I think so. It's a very well-balanced. Yeah, well balanced. That's it. Well balanced. Alcohol forward, but not harsh alcohol forward. I don't know if we've had a more well-balanced drink in quite a while.

SPEAKER_00 4:22

No, this is one of this is right up there. This is a good one. And maybe it's the Christie ice. We did use Christie ice, which is our fancy ice. Thank you, Christy. The only Christy gets to bake in our house from her fancy ice maker. No one touch. No touchy. No touchy. No ice for you. No touchy. No ice for you. She's an ice Nazi.

SPEAKER_01 4:43

Just remember, Christy, when you listen to this in six months, I said thank you, Christy.

SPEAKER_00 4:48

The two for three years. So we have the inside jokes today.

The Bad Parenting Guide Starts

SPEAKER_01 4:53

We're sitting by the the pool side with this drink here because we're going to talk about the Cheers to Ears Guide to Bad Parenting at Disney.

SPEAKER_00 5:00

I think this episode would be good, like filmed by the pool. Yes. If we were sitting by the pool with a cocktail, live streaming it.

SPEAKER_01 5:07

So as a parent, you just you go grab a cocktail, the kids go jump in the pool, and you're off duty. Yeah. Yep, there's lifeguards. There's a lifeguard. I don't have to worry about that. Another drink, bartender. Yeah. It's pool day. And that is my first point. So of course, we came up with just different ideas of how to be a bad parent at Disneyland. Somewhere from what I've seen. But yeah, this is what we came up with. Okay. My first one though is after flying in your first evening, you let the kids go jump on the pool until they kick you out while you and mom sit by the pool consuming a few drinks. And then you get up at 6 a.m. the next morning and rope drop. So late to bed, early to rise.

SPEAKER_00 5:44

So the early to rise part would be the tough part in there. And that's bad parenting. Right. That's bad parenting. Yeah. But the other part where you drop the kids off of the pool and have a few drinks, that might be healthy parenting. It might just be a few. It's what the French would do. And you have to, you're getting ready for what's gonna storm is coming ahead. Storm is coming ahead. Taking toddlers to Disney. Yeah, it's I haven't done this in years. It's French parenting. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 6:11

So if we have any French listeners, please leave a comment below on whether or not that's French parenting. Or if I've just thrown you all as a nation under the bus.

SPEAKER_00 6:19

And please still listen. I'm look- I'm so looking if we have French listeners. I don't even know. We might. Oh, I no, we've had downloads from French. I know. We have I know we have. We're in like 70 or 80 countries now.

SPEAKER_01 6:31

We've had people from all over the world listening to us. So that's my first one.

SPEAKER_00 6:36

And I think we I think lots of countries understand us in their language because sometimes I don't speak English at all with the words I say.

SPEAKER_01 6:43

No.

SPEAKER_00 6:44

I know. Oh, I get what he's saying. Because that's not English.

SPEAKER_01 6:47

That is optional.

SPEAKER_00 6:48

My first one is kind of what you said is getting up in the morning is to rope drop to ride stop with a toddler. Rope drop to ride stop with a toddler.

SPEAKER_01 6:57

I think I have that.

SPEAKER_00 6:58

That's one you have? That's a bad pairing idea. Oh, yeah. That's actually my next one. Is it? Yeah. That's a bad pairing idea.

SPEAKER_01 7:04

That is a so we've had 17 downloads from France. Okay. I had to look that up. Yes. Mine's a little bit more involved than just taking a toddler from rope drop to ride stop.

SPEAKER_00 7:14

Yeah. I wrote down like key points. I thought we'd just talk about them.

SPEAKER_01 7:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 7:17

Because we're going to have thoughts on all these.

SPEAKER_01 7:19

So let's just talk about yours. Go ahead. Keep your toddler and preschool, preschool age children in the parks from rope drop to ride stop. And when they're melting down at the end of the night, tell them they're okay. They're fine. And your most sing song sweet voice. They are fine. No, they're not.

SPEAKER_00 7:37

But that's some good, bad parenting there. Yeah, I've never heard it in the way you said, in a nice sweet voice. I've heard parents tell their kids at Disney though, you're fine. No, I've you are fine. You're sitting here. We're watching fireworks and you're gonna like it. I've heard a lot of as we're walking out the gates.

SPEAKER_01 7:54

You're fine, it's okay, you're fine. Oh, yeah. And I'm thinking it's 11 o'clock at night. They have an idiot for a parent. They're not fine. But see, that's there's a guy to bad parenting. Yeah, don't go back for naps. No, this is your kids' trip, too. They gotta be in the park for 15 hours. And we're talking Disneyland hours.

SPEAKER_00 8:13

That's why we raise Disney World. That's why so many people raise kids that aren't Disney fans. Yeah. I think I did a pretty good job, and so did Asha and Dave. Yeah. Of having having kids that love Disney. You gotta go Gen X on these kids. Toughen them up. Yeah, but you can't just tell them they're okay. It's still their day, too. I know. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_01 8:33

But we're doing bad parenting.

SPEAKER_00 8:35

I know, I know, but I'm saying the the good parenting side of the bad parenting.

SPEAKER_01 8:38

Oh, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 8:38

I'm counter arguing the bad parenting thing. It's like, oh yeah, you're okay, you're fine, you're good. Yeah. We're good.

SPEAKER_01 8:43

We're a little dirt in it.

unknown 8:45

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 8:46

No, you you should if you have young children, you should always be taking a break in the middle of the day. Even Disney World with the heat and everything.

SPEAKER_00 8:54

And I'm not in for taking a break and go back to the hotel. Even though I've done that with the kids, when Eli was little, we went back to the hotel for a little bit. I mean, we meaning everyone but me, kinda. I kind of ditched up early. I would take the butt. I took one time I took the art back to the hotel with them. Uh-huh. R.I.P. And then I got right back on it and went back to the park. Back to the park. Yeah. And then I wore rode back to a 7-Eleven, got a beer, and went back to the room. But see. Yeah. So it's your kids' crib too. You have to, you have to Everybody has to have a adjust. Yeah. Yeah. You do another one because you have more than me.

SPEAKER_01 9:27

Okay.

Rope Drop To Ride Stop Chaos

SPEAKER_01 9:28

Realize that this is your vacation and the kids need to maintain perfect behavior and attitudes as if they're in church. It is fully acceptable for you to lose control and growl at them for expressing their needs in childlike ways. At all times, children should be able to express themselves and explain their needs as if they have a fully developed prefrontal cortex.

SPEAKER_00 9:48

I totally have seen this one a lot. Oh yes. This is a this is the probably the most common. This is yeah in line, especially. Yeah. It's kids can hang on stuff in line.

SPEAKER_01 9:59

Kids acting like kids.

SPEAKER_00 10:01

They're gonna hang on the rope. They're gonna go underneath the line and go back.

SPEAKER_01 10:05

I've seen so many parents growling at their kids because they're so angry, just growling out them words. It's hilarious.

SPEAKER_00 10:12

Yeah, and and I get it. I get it if you're embarrassed, if your kids are disrupting other people. Yeah. But that's other people's problem, I think. If you go to Disney parks, you know kids are gonna be kids. They're gonna bump India. Yeah. I mean, I I'm the furthest, I'm the last one to call Disney a kids' park. Yeah. It's an all-like our park because we're Disney adults and that's just how it is. But it's also a kids' park.

SPEAKER_01 10:33

So the only one I will disagree kind of on this thread is those parents who teach their kids how to be bad Disney people. I.e. the kids keep they'll scoot in front of people in line, and then the parents are trying, oh, I gotta keep up with my child. Oh, that's horrible. Keep line jumping because they send their kids forward, two or three families, and then they've got to catch up to their kids. So yeah, that that's bad parenting. I wonder if they practice that at home. Oh, I'm sure they do.

SPEAKER_00 11:04

Yeah, they probably prefer.

SPEAKER_01 11:05

I've actually taken a kid and pulled him back behind me and told him to stay there and had and then looked at the parents like, yeah, yeah, this ends here, lady. If you do not like that, never go to Shanghai Disney.

SPEAKER_00 11:18

Oh, yeah. That's the complete plan. Well, that's this lines. It's their culture. Yeah. Is to how can I get next in line, up at one in the head in line? Keep pushing forward. Because there's eight billion people in every line. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 11:28

I've done that when I've landed in China. I think it was Hong Kong, and some woman was pushing from the back of the plane forward, and she I'm like in the way, and we're not moving anywhere. And she keeps pushing me. So I stopped, I turned around and I pushed her back, full arm length. So about three feet away, and I just pushed her back and then turned her back around. Yeah, she she knew to stay in line then.

SPEAKER_00 11:52

Okay, I'll do one more and then you do two more, baby.

Micromanaging The Day Like A CEO

SPEAKER_00 11:54

Okay. We'll get on track here. Okay, uh the parent CEO. Okay. I'm talking about every minute micromanaged the entire day. My example is 802 ride, 817 snack, 842 photo, 9 a.m. ride, right? And all this time you're doing all this planning, yeah. Your kid just wants to look at the ducks walking across the path on the way to frontier to Adventureland.

SPEAKER_02 12:20

They want to watch plan the flash pad.

SPEAKER_00 12:22

Yeah. They want to go, yeah, they want to go check out Toontown. Yeah. And try to break through the jail. And play in the free stuff. Yeah, they want to do all the stuff that's not a line. Not a line. Right. And just walk around. They want to try on all the hats and the Mad Hatter.

SPEAKER_01 12:36

When you stop and think about it, we really view Disney as we've paid for lines. Kids pay for kids go there. Pay for entertainment.

SPEAKER_00 12:44

Kids go there and they can have fun anywhere.

SPEAKER_01 12:46

They pay for entertainment. We pay for line. We want to go into the lines.

SPEAKER_00 12:50

I know. Just the I forgot. Try on hats at the Mad Hatter.

SPEAKER_01 12:54

Yes. Kids would love that all day. That's free. All day. You know, meeting characters. Meaning characters.

SPEAKER_00 13:00

Yeah. Yeah. Walking around, following a character around. Uh-huh. They're walking. There's the Mad Hatter walking around. I'm going to use the Mad Hatter again. But he walks around Fantasyland a lot. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 13:10

And so I tend to think if I've seen him.

SPEAKER_00 13:12

You haven't? He's hilarious. The one that I saw last time. And Gaston's there quite a bit too.

SPEAKER_01 13:17

I've seen Gaston quite a few times. I probably, it's because I don't spend a ton of time in fantasy line.

SPEAKER_00 13:22

See, that's why we have the French listeners, because it's actually Gaston.

SPEAKER_01 13:25

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 13:25

Right? It's Gaston. I said Gaston. Oh. And you said Gaston because I said Gaston. Hence all our French listeners because probably. See how I do that? Gaston? Yeah, because the kids just want to hang out. Yeah. They do. They don't care where they go. Yeah. Look at this line. This line's so much fun. We've been at this line for 25 minutes. This is the best line I've ever been in.

SPEAKER_01 13:45

That's why it's great when they've added stuff to them. Yeah. Okay, my next one. All day, every day, no rest days because they don't need them, and you need to get your money's worth. It is a military operation, people.

SPEAKER_00 13:55

I might have something.

SPEAKER_01 13:56

Get in line, focus, heads forward. Face face forward. Face forward. Let's go. We paid for lines. We're staying in all of the lines to do all the things.

SPEAKER_00 14:05

Once this is done, dad's gonna run to the next line. Yes. And we're gonna follow him when we're getting there. When we get there, we're gonna go in line with him because he's gonna run.

SPEAKER_01 14:14

And mom, because I think this is more of a mom, she's going to organize the flanking assault of the lightning lanes. Dad will frontal assault of getting in line, getting in that next line. Mom is flanking with the with the next lightning lanes.

SPEAKER_00 14:30

That's another story. Yes. From the another R to early entry at Disney. Oh. Back in the early entry days, way back then at Disney, me and Eli saw a guy with a stroller. Yeah. And he ran into California Adventure at Rope Drop for the early entry time, right? Ran to Guardians, and he ran a stroller to the stroller parking while his kid, his mom had one kid in hand. He had the baby in a stroller. He threw the kid to the side of the stroller and was unbuckling him. Well, probably 200 people got in line while he was doing all this crap with a stroller that he could have walked there and been the same exact time in line. There was no I we walked.

SPEAKER_02 15:07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 15:07

Meaning, like he ran, the mom ran. Everyone's running around frantically.

SPEAKER_02 15:13

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 15:14

We leisurely walked and beat him in the line. Because they go all these weird ways, worry about it so much.

SPEAKER_01 15:20

I watched two parents running, dragging their children. So adults have a longer stride than children. And it was International Gateway, and they were going to Remy's ratatouille, right? And one of the kids tripped, trying to keep up, double timing it behind dad. And the parents got mad at the kid for tripping because they were running. And me and every other adult around them commented, Boy, if you had walked, she would have been fine. And you wouldn't have to get mad at her. Right. Out loud. Yeah. We were get up.

SPEAKER_00 15:56

Let's go. It's very military. Everything we're talking is very military. Okay. Okay, your turn.

Fireworks Exit Lines And Bus Rage

SPEAKER_01 16:02

Leave immediately after fireworks and fight over your line waiting for the bus, churro card, or whatever. This is the best form of modeling the behavior you want to see in your children. So a lot of parenting is modeling behavior. Modeling those positive behaviors. So it's pushing people out of line, getting in that line for the next the last churro of the day, or getting in butt. Fireworks, it's just a free-for-all.

SPEAKER_00 16:26

It's a bloodbath. It's a bloodbath.

SPEAKER_01 16:28

Get to that bus.

SPEAKER_00 16:29

It's a bloodbath out there. I saw a picture, someone posted the other day. I'm going off on a lot of tangents here. I'll stop soon, maybe. But of a picture of going back to Port Orleans Riverside, and it was a long, long bus ride at the end of the night, and they were complaining about it. The bus line. Yeah. And I think it was Magic Kingdom. And that's the way life works. If you're going to stay until the end of the night, everyone leaves. You're leaving the same time as everyone else. Yeah. The lines. If you don't want a long line, leave 15-20 minutes early or stay. Yeah. Wait until the exact park when it closes. Not as many people go back. I there's ways to get around. If you don't, if that's not what you want, or just stay in the line, because the bus fits quite a few people.

SPEAKER_01 17:10

It does. And with the trams going back to the garage at Disneyland, it took me a while to learn that like after the at park close and after the fireworks, the last fireworks and all of that, it's just nonstop long lines waiting to get on that tram. And it took me a while to figure out like, no, no, fireworks start. If I was gonna leave after fireworks, no, no, I leave right when fireworks start and get on that tram because then it's completely empty. There's a few people on there, and you get out of there quick. You get out of the parking garage quick. Uh-huh. You wait those 10 minutes, but people want to that you've got you paid for those fireworks.

SPEAKER_00 17:50

If you you're making that choice, yes. Stay stay, it's okay.

SPEAKER_01 17:54

But you gotta roll with it.

SPEAKER_00 17:55

It's okay to stay in line.

SPEAKER_01 17:56

I I even tried to sit down, have a hot dog, and a drink at the end of the night, and nope. It that line never got shorter.

SPEAKER_00 18:05

And I don't, I might be mistaken. I don't think I am. I think Port Orleans and Riverside have the same bus.

SPEAKER_01 18:10

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 18:11

Right? So that's that's at two.

SPEAKER_01 18:12

Yeah. That's a lot of that's a lot of bus in there. Okay. Am I going next or do you have one? You can go again because I only have I already only have four more. Oh, okay. I have seven more.

SPEAKER_00 18:24

Yeah, you go again. You go, you do, yeah, you do one.

Teen Freedom And Meet Up Plans

SPEAKER_00 18:27

I'll do one.

SPEAKER_01 18:27

Absolutely force your teenagers to stay with the family for the entire day. Give them no money of their own and no freedom. This is a family vacation for everyone. By the way, we will be focusing on whatever the four-year-old wants to do and avoiding the rides they are too short to ride. Listen, and I don't know how old Michaela and Eli were, when you kind of go Didn't get to ride anything? No, no, that you guys just let him go. Oh. 12-13?

SPEAKER_00 18:56

Yeah, Eli was, I think he was 12 or 13 when he could. When they feel comfortable with going off on their own. My thought on a park is once you check into the park, you're inside the park.

SPEAKER_01 19:08

You're pretty safe, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 19:09

If you're if you're confident with your kids, yeah. And comfortable with them and like have parenting them. I don't know, I don't want to say correctly, but I kind of do, where you you know they'll listen to you. Yeah, well then don't leave the park without telling me. They know to keep stay safe. Don't leave the park without saying, don't go to California Adventure. Stay in the colour. Unless you tell me, come find me. But there's a certain age where and this is before cell phones, too. This is even before cell phones we did this. Yeah. Like, hey, we're meeting at noon at this place. Big Thunder Mountain. Yeah. Be there. Right? Have a place to meet. Have a place to meet and meet there.

SPEAKER_01 19:44

Yeah. Forcing your teenagers stay with the family. And I've seen this a lot. They have to stay with the family because it's a family vacation, but nothing is tailored to them because it's all tailored to the family.

SPEAKER_00 19:57

A family vacation could be totally split up for half the time. Oh, yeah. And you have lunch and dinner together.

SPEAKER_01 20:02

And that's the thing. I'm the the plaid when I go with Dave and Ash and Lee and everybody. But part of it is like, go do your own thing.

SPEAKER_00 20:10

Everyone should be that's the key. I mean, if there's gonna be one key that we ever yeah uh that anyone ever hears from us is Disney is everyone's trip separately.

SPEAKER_01 20:21

Yeah, right. So the yeah, the last trip, and granted Brad and Lee are in their 20s, they peeled off, but DJ hung out with his parents, and then they were because I was picking all the lightning, I said, I'm gonna go do this for lunch. You probably won't like this because I I wanted to try something from the Japan pavilion. I went to the ramen place. But I was just like, go eat somewhere, go look at the app and go eat somewhere.

SPEAKER_00 20:49

How much fun is it to meet at lunchtime? Say you broke off at 8 a.m. after breakfast, like a little ride in the morning, one ride in the morning, rope drop something, had a little breakfast, and we'll meet at 2 p.m. for lunch. Yeah, and then to hear about what they've done since you've seen them last.

SPEAKER_01 21:04

Oh, yeah. I'm more of I think afternoons. Usually in the morning, you're all wanting to do the same stuff.

SPEAKER_00 21:10

Yeah, but it doesn't I mean no matter when it's funny to sit down and just hear about how great oh, I wrote Big Feather Mountain three times. Yes, because it was so great, there was no line. Then I went here, then we went over to then over here, like now that Eli's in his 20s, right? Then I went over California Adventure and did this and we did this and we went over to the hotel, blah, blah, blah, right?

SPEAKER_01 21:27

Exactly.

SPEAKER_00 21:28

Just fun.

SPEAKER_01 21:28

Yep.

SPEAKER_00 21:29

Just fun. You want to do one more? Should I do one? I'll do one

Height Cheating And Real Safety

SPEAKER_00 21:32

more. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 21:32

Stuff those shoes with napkins and get the tallest platform shoes you can find for your short child. It is also the best time for them to start wearing a pompadour. Pile that hair up high. Actually, tall hairstyle doesn't cut it because they they put the kid under, and if their skull does not hit that little metal bar, listen. You gotta put a lot of hair hair gel in. Parents do this all the time. You are seriously an idiot, potentially going to cause harm to your child by.

SPEAKER_00 22:00

This is the most idiotic thing. Yes. Because yeah, you can actually at least injure your child.

SPEAKER_01 22:05

Bad parenting. Right. Yeah. They are too short to ride. Give them a year and they'll be fine. It's okay. And I'm understand. But you need to plan ahead so that you don't get in so that they have the meltdown at the ride because they're told no at the ride. You gotta have an idea.

SPEAKER_00 22:21

You should plan. I mean, you should plan ahead for all this stuff. If a kid has a meltdown because I can't ride a ride, that's well, it's because you've set them up.

SPEAKER_01 22:28

You set them up. Now I like, and I I think it's SeaWorld in Orlando. They measure the kid when they first come in, and they give them an appropriate bracelet.

SPEAKER_00 22:38

Oh, that's cool.

SPEAKER_01 22:39

That says this child can ride everything that requires height up to 38 inches or 40 inches or 42 or 48 or whatever. And they get a color-coded bracelet, they never have to measure themselves. They just look at the bracelet, the cast measure.

SPEAKER_00 22:54

I think that should be an option at town hall. Yes. You don't have to if you don't want to. Yeah. But if you want your kid to have a bracelet, you can wait in line. Yeah. It's going to be a line. No lightning lane. Yeah. You can wait in line and get your kid measured beginning the day. But I think even if it's it's a great idea. Yeah. Or at the everyone's favorite customer service area at Animal Kingdom.

SPEAKER_01 23:14

Or if they have a magic bandit that they can scan it and it'll give get my guarantee or something.

SPEAKER_00 23:19

You can just kind of switch magic bandits. Yeah, that's true. It has to be one that does if you unhook it, it breaks. Yeah. Has to be something like that.

SPEAKER_01 23:25

Yeah, that's true. But anyway, that is not don't play with that rule. That's their horrible parenting.

SPEAKER_00 23:30

That's not even bad. That's horrible parenting.

SPEAKER_01 23:32

That's horrible parenting.

SPEAKER_00 23:32

And we see it all the time. You see what shoes can I buy on Amazon? So my kid's an inch higher, taller. Yeah. Almost can ride this ride.

SPEAKER_01 23:40

I've seen parents pick up Guardians. Pick up their kid by their neck, like their head, and try to stretch them out so that and the cast members, ma'am, no. No.

SPEAKER_00 23:51

My dad used to do that kind of stuff for fun. Or we're getting too tall, so we try to squish us down by our head. And that works. Yeah, that's hilarious.

SPEAKER_01 24:01

Disney?

SPEAKER_00 24:02

No. Okay, not a Disney. Go ahead.

Forced Meet And Greets Pressure

SPEAKER_00 24:04

The forced meet and greets. I you have to you spend months before planning outfits to meet different characters. Okay. Like you're meeting Minnie in this outfit, and when you go meet Mickey, you're gonna wear this outfit. Oh. I have like four different outfits for the four favorite characters. Dressing up your child like a doll. And then your kid doesn't your kid just sees Minnie and starts crying. They're scared. That's horrible. Because your mom set you up for this horrible event and put all this pressure on you, right? So yeah, the force meeting greets. Isn't that a horrible idea? Like I want pictures on a grass with every I want a picture for my Instagram of you seven characters today. Let's go. Yeah. It's for me. This is about me. And all this is a a lot of this is about it's about me, not you. Yeah. With our kids. That's my next one. What's your next one?

SPEAKER_01 24:55

Get the biggest stroller available because your little baby needs room to stretch out, but then make them walk throughout the day because you have that thing filled with 50 pounds of crap. That that is, I've seen that so many times, or they get the double wide stroller, and it's just to carry a bunch of stuff. Yeah. You have one chw child and a double wide stroller.

Stroller Overload And Rule Bending

SPEAKER_00 25:15

I have the same kind of topic, but we'll talk about it in a minute.

SPEAKER_01 25:18

Now, does your is yours involved with the seven-year-old or the eight-year-old in the stroller?

SPEAKER_00 25:22

Kinda.

SPEAKER_01 25:23

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 25:23

I'll just talk about it now since um Yeah, let's talk about yours now. My stroller one, so we'll just piggyback on each other's stroller idea. Mine was trying to get away with the size of the stroller. Oh. Like the width and the length and the width, I think it's mostly width at Disney, right?

SPEAKER_01 25:39

Yes. They tried to stop.

SPEAKER_00 25:41

I've never had a double stroller.

SPEAKER_01 25:42

There were there was they tried to stop all double strollers and then being happy about it that you got away with it.

SPEAKER_00 25:48

Like if you get a little bigger one, like this is two inches too big, you were happy about it. You post all over the place that, oh yeah, I got in with this stroller. I was allowed to get in. They didn't stop me, so you should buy this stroller on Amazon. And then you get in the parks, yeah, and you can't even turn the stroller around. You get stuck in track, and you get pissed off. Yeah. Because you're stuck in traffic. Good modeling, parenting. You have two kids in the strollers that's Disney inappropriate. It's Disney illegal. Parenting. You snuck in the park and got lucky they let it in. And then you get pissed off that you can't you can't move it around correctly. Move around. Like I don't move for strollers. No, when I walk around. I walk around. I wonder why I don't run into strollers.

SPEAKER_01 26:31

The front back double stroller, why they went to double white. That's just I don't know. That's weird.

SPEAKER_00 26:36

Can you take care of both kids while walking and you can reach over?

SPEAKER_01 26:40

Maybe. I don't know. I just I I didn't understand why that people got upset because they couldn't have their double whites.

SPEAKER_00 26:47

But yeah, people get upset about wagons.

SPEAKER_01 26:49

They get upset everywhere. Everything.

SPEAKER_00 26:51

Yeah, they want everything in the parks. And like we can go into the older people and the electric carts too. Thinking they own the place too. Because we all, I mean, I think we all own the place. Yeah. We're all equals there. Yeah. To me. I'm not saying I deserve more because I'm walking around, right? But I don't want to be ran into by a cart that's moving 12 miles an hour.

SPEAKER_01 27:12

Having some old lady honking at you with one of those things is very annoying. It's very annoying. But that's not parenting. So let's get back on track.

SPEAKER_00 27:19

It's not. I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_01 27:21

So go ahead. Go ahead.

Matching Shirts And Hydration Fails

SPEAKER_00 27:23

Okay. My next one is the matching outfits.

SPEAKER_01 27:26

That's bad parenting.

SPEAKER_00 27:27

It's bad parenting because you care so much about it.

SPEAKER_01 27:31

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 27:31

You're all about the matching outfits before you go. You have like six of them for your six park days.

SPEAKER_02 27:37

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 27:37

We're all doing matching outfits as a family. Uh-huh. But by noon, one kid has ketchup all over his, right? And the other kids just the teenager's embarrassed to be around you. Yes. They're all like ten feet away from you every chance they get. So that's why it's bad parenting because you're not letting your kids be kids. Yeah. You're forcing them. Anything forcing kids to do anything.

SPEAKER_01 27:57

There's a there's an element of that that I get having worked in early childhood, having a group of kids in the same t-shirt.

SPEAKER_00 28:06

Well, that's different.

SPEAKER_01 28:07

Is a really good idea, but matching like it's your identity that you all have to match. Mom, that's just that's bad parenting. That's just bad modeling. Bad spousal abuse.

SPEAKER_00 28:20

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 28:21

Oh, you're making it forcing your husband to have to wear one of those spousal.

SPEAKER_00 28:24

I don't I wouldn't force Christy to wear it. Well, like it would be opposite for us. Yeah. I would love to wear something like we match, but I'd love to match. I'd wear I'd wear costumes and all that stuff all the time. Yeah. But you're the only ones I've talked into wearing costumes with me at Disney. Yes. Mike and Sully. Okay. Okay. Your next one.

SPEAKER_01 28:40

My next one. Give them a water bottle at the start of the day. This is bad parenting.

SPEAKER_00 28:44

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 28:45

Give them a water bottle at the start of the day that you filled with at the hotel. Realize while you're at the park that water is five dollars because you had no idea. You just knew you had to bring water. And you're not spending that kind of money on water. You'll spend five dollars on them getting them a soda at lunch, not water. Don't check if they've drank any water throughout the day, and then you get pissed when they complain of a headache or not feeling good that evening. Yeah. There's free water throughout the park. Make your kids drink throughout the day. And even those little hydration packets, too. I'm a big fan of those. You are.

SPEAKER_00 29:17

That's a good that's a good move.

SPEAKER_01 29:19

Yeah. That's funny. But don't set your kids up to fail. And that's bad parenting. That's bad parenting. But you know, so but if you want to set your kids up to fail, that's how you do it.

SPEAKER_00 29:28

Right. Bad parents. Okay,

One More Ride And Lightning Lane

SPEAKER_00 29:30

go ahead. Uh my next one is like it's say it's like 6, 7 p.m. Your kids are getting a little grumpy. They're just kind of done. You've been doing it all day long. Yeah. And your thing you keep saying to them over and over is just one more ride and we'll leave. Yeah. Then you go on the ride, just one more ride and we'll leave. But mom, you said we leave last ride. No, just one more. One more. That one didn't take very long. That one's only taken. That line wasn't very long. This line's pretty short. But mom, I really want to go back. I'm really done.

SPEAKER_02 29:56

You're tired.

SPEAKER_00 29:56

Yeah, I'm really tired. I'm really done. Nope. One more ride. Constantly one more ride. Yes. That's bad parenting.

SPEAKER_01 30:02

Okay. Don't buy lightning lane because it's too expensive for family five every day. Stand in the longest lines in the middle of the day when it's hottest and growl at the your kids when they start to complain. Kids swinging from the railing, acting like a kid, and you're getting ticked off. Because it's hot and they're all sweaty, and they're trying to find a way to entertain themselves. Yeah. By the lightning lane. By the lightning lane.

SPEAKER_00 30:25

Take the short line. Come on. That's bad parenting. Bad parenting. My next one is the photo shoot vacation, where they just want to hang out in

When Photos Replace Real Memories

SPEAKER_00 30:33

the parks. You're all you have your camera, your phone's out with your camera on it, and you're looking around for the perfect photo shoot. You want to get one by the car sign, by the castle, by the waterfall here, right?

SPEAKER_01 30:46

Standing in front of Mater.

SPEAKER_00 30:47

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 30:48

When the ride's ready to start.

SPEAKER_00 30:49

Yeah, everywhere. I gotta get a picture. No, don't get in line yet. And that goes to, I mean, I'm all on photos should be about the memories. The photos shouldn't make the memories.

SPEAKER_02 31:04

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 31:05

You know what I mean? You shouldn't force the photo. And then when you look back on it as a kid, you're gonna find a photo. Oh, that's that's where my mom made me stand by the castle. Oh, there's a time mom made me stand by the castle, and I wanted to go, I want to go on Peter Pan. But we were we had to wait a 90-minute line because my mom made me stand by the castle, or a picture of here's me in the Peter Pan line.

SPEAKER_02 31:24

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 31:25

And it was only a 10-minute wait. That's a great picture. Here's our whole family in the Peter Pan line. Here's a selfie we took at Mickey and Minnie's. We got in line at Rope Drop and we didn't stand in line at all.

SPEAKER_01 31:38

I'm I I'm not a photo guy at all. Like I don't really want to be in photo. I'll take pictures of stuff.

SPEAKER_00 31:46

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_01 31:46

Hey, we're on Kilmanjaro Safaris. I'm gonna take pictures of the animals one time, and then I never take pictures of the animals again because I've already got pictures of the giraffe. And people who have to stop, everybody stop what they're doing, smile. It's like why? Right. This is the least non-photogenic photo ever.

SPEAKER_00 32:07

I know, and I and I wish I'm kind of saying we are, and I wish I wasn't. I want to be more photo pass guy person. I now we've done it a few times, but I really wish I spent a day at the parks where I hit all the photo pass guys and see I could see that if that was part of your fun.

SPEAKER_01 32:23

I but I'm thinking more the oh, we're in line for this. We gotta take a picture. Oh, family photo because we're eating dinner. We're eating at Pecos Bill. Let's take a picture of all of us. No, put your camera away, Barbara. Let me eat my taco and peace. That that hit a nerve. I know. I think my dad, that might be because my dad was a finger taker. He was always wanting to. Yeah, I don't get it. And it was stop having fun and let's take this picture. And that's the problem. Bad parenting says, Stop having fun. I want a picture of you having fun. So my last

Tracking Kids And Paid Fun Demands

SPEAKER_01 33:00

one.

SPEAKER_00 33:00

Your last one. Well, I have one more too. Perfect. We did it.

SPEAKER_01 33:02

Let your seven to ten year olds walk around alone all day alone in the parks. Put a couple of uncrustables in their backpacks. They have water bottles because you gave them earlier that day. The cast members will make sure they're safe. Put an air tag in their backpack so you can find them later, but be pissed about something that they did.

SPEAKER_00 33:20

Oh, this is a good reality show.

SPEAKER_01 33:22

Because you're watching them where they're going all day, right? And you're gonna be mad because they did something.

SPEAKER_00 33:27

This is a good reality show. I like this show.

SPEAKER_01 33:30

You went on Autopia five times. Wrong with you. That's not a good ride. Yeah, because you hate that ride.

SPEAKER_00 33:36

You're right. Your days back to our last episode. Your days sucked. Your days suck.

SPEAKER_01 33:41

I'm gonna Facebook your trip child. Yeah. It's that being angry at your younger child that you don't want to deal with. This goes along with the eh, the pool, the lifeguard will take care of them if they start drowning. I'm gonna sit here and have my drink. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 33:58

My my last one, my last one is about something I overheard in a grocery store last night. Okay. This guy told his son they were looking at ice cream, and the son wanted this ice cream, and the dad had a legit point. That ice cream was ten dollars for not buying it.

SPEAKER_02 34:12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 34:13

It's a pint of ice cream for ten dollars. And he like, the son got it, right? He's like, I get it. They start looking at other ice creams, and he's like, This one's two for five on sale, and it was trolleys or trolleys, it's a little candy. Okay, it's made into ice cream, little blue and red candy. I don't even know what it is. Okay, okay. And the dad said, You can get it, but it better be good. The kid just wants it. He doesn't know if it's he's in taste testing it. He didn't look at the ingredients, yeah. It's two 250 and he won the box of it because his dad said he could have spent ten dollars. It's his favorite candy. Yeah, he said it's my favorite candy made into an ice cream. Well, you better like it, or I don't want to buy it. Well, you're not taste testing it first. It's interesting, like, but that happens a lot in the party. I know. So my last one is you are having fun today because I paid a lot of money. Yes. That's my last one. You're gonna have fun today. This is fun.

SPEAKER_01 35:01

Yeah. Here, I bought you this ice cream, eat it and say it's good, but I don't like chocolate. I bought it for you, eat it, it was expensive.

SPEAKER_00 35:09

Right. Eat that hamburger from Galaxy Grill. Yeah. Galactic grill. Eat that crappy hockey puck. Eat that. I can't even chew it up. We all know you can't chew it. It's rubber. Shut up and eat it. It's this rubber burger I bought at Galactic Grill. I will get you. Now like it. Say you like it. Tell me tomorrow how much you like it.

SPEAKER_01 35:28

You're gonna be drinking hotel water all day tomorrow. Nothing. Do nothing.

SPEAKER_00 35:32

This goes to one of my favorite quotes in movie history. Yeah. From the legendary Kevin Costner as Crash Davis in Bull Durham. This game is fun, damn it. It's one of the best lives of movie history, and it tracks right here. It does. Disney's fun. Have fun now.

SPEAKER_01 35:47

Hey, it's everybody's trip. Don't do bad parenting. Yeah. Have fun. But if you want to do bad parenting, we've given you some ideas on how to go about it.

SPEAKER_00 35:54

And we'll see you at the parks. We'll see at the parks. We'll overhear this at the parks next time.

SPEAKER_01 35:59

And we'll comment on you. And we'll comment

Final Takeaways And How To Reach Us

SPEAKER_01 36:01

on you. Hey, if you could go on, like, subscribe, share, follow, heart, do all those things your platform ass. We'd really appreciate it. If you want to reach out and send us an idea for a show, cheers the number two, ears the number one at outlook.com. And until next week, cheers. Cheers.